Becoming A Better Top

The New Topping Book is a wonderful guidebook that you can take and apply to your own relationship if you're curious about the world of BDSM. It's easy to read and contains basic yet useful information for beginners and curious minds.
Published:
Pros:
Guide book & not a manual, easy to read, informative, contains a list of resources.
Cons:
Competing ideas when describing bottoms.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review
The New Topping Book by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton is a wonderful primer for aspiring Tops and a view into the world of Topping. It’s not all whips and chains but tours you on BDSM as a whole. More experienced Tops may not find it useful since it deals with the basics and is a starting point for those interested in becoming a Top. It will by no means transform you into a Top, but instead give you a sense of direction.

I enjoyed Janet and Dossie’s writing in their The New Bottoming Book and was not disappointed that the wit, humor, ease of reading and to the point style flowed throughout this book as well. They managed to incorporate their own knowledge of being experienced BDSM practitioners for over three decades with hard facts and little fluff to fill this book with information and wonderful points. While delivering you information they throw in personal scenes they have experienced and short story interludes between a number of chapters to give your brain a rest.

The Topping Book starts off by bluntly telling you why they choose to use the term Top, an umbrella term to include people who like to play on the giving end of sensation, pain, bondage, control/discipline, and any other activities that make the universe that is BDSM. Apparently the reason for using a word with so many meanings, it didn’t leave out anyone who may call themselves, Mistress, Master, Dominant, Sadist, Mommy, Daddy, so on and so forth. I find it awesome that rather than use one specific label they chose to use something to include everyone so that you’ll find at least one thing of use from the book.

The next few sections go on to tell you about what Tops do, the rights and responsibilities you have as a Top to your bottom, the importance of having a safe word as well as a safe non-verbal communication. They suggest something that called the two squeeze technique, where you as a Top squeeze some part of your Bottoms body twice and wait for them to confirm in the same way that everything is okay.

I love the fact that during the BDSM Ethics chapter they go into types of activities that require you ask for consent, such as marking activities or anything that could be permanently damaging to someone. Not a lot of books that I’ve come across include information like this. Janet and Dossie also discuss what to do when something goes wrong, and how to handle this, whether it’s during the scene, right after, or even a day or several days later.

The “Toys for Tops” chapter is just like what it sounds and includes a basic starter set of toys for you to compile for your scenes. The set includes rope, restraints, blindfolds, outfits, clamps, floggers, and different sex toys. They also suggest having different lubricants, condoms, and emergency shears in case something goes wrong during a restraint scene.

Unfortunately while they do include different types of toys to play with, they don’t include a lot of information on how to properly maintain the toys. They simply suggest using water and soap with a capful of peroxide to clean and disinfect all toys. I found this disappointing and quite misleading since some toys cannot be disinfected.

The rest of the book can be summed up as a “how to find someone to play with” chapter. They give you tips on how to get the word out online, in message boards, kink communities. I sort of skipped over this part and went to the “How to introduce BDSM into an existing relationship”. One suggestion is rather than say “Hey let’s do BDSM” try a small simple question such as, “Hey honey, what do you think of being blindfolded?”

While I loved this book and think it is a great guideline to anyone who is new to the BDSM world, the “Choosing the right Bottom” chapter left a bad taste in my mouth and over generalizes without taking into consideration unique situations and a person’s experience/comfort level.

The New Topping book describes a sort of ideal a bottom should achieve and a Top should desire in a bottom; however, the New Bottoming Book spends more time emphasizing that there is no right or wrong way to be a bottom and these appear to be competing ideas.

Overall this book is an excellent guide to learning about the world of Topping, but shouldn’t be followed as a word for word rulebook. The chapters were quite easy to understand and flowed well into the next. I suggest reading it cover to cover in order to understand the sections fully. Sometimes the next chapter is just a continuation of the last one.
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My The New Topping Book tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Bdsm
    • Couples
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • N/a
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • N/a
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Comments
  • Kayla
    Kayla  
    I'm hoping this book isn't as ultra-bright as the picture shows. I'd be sad. Great review though. I own the Bottoming Book, but I haven't picked this one up yet.
  • Juliettia
    Juliettia  
    It's not. it's more of a Tea Green or a muted Green-Yellow crayon color.
  • VieuxCarre
    VieuxCarre  
    Oh, I'd love to pick this one up. I've been exploring topping lately and would love a few pointers. Thanks for the informative review. I'll definitely add this book to my que
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    Sounds like a phenomenal book! On my wishlist!
    Great review!
  • Adriana Ravenlust
    Adriana Ravenlust  
    Seriously awesome review!
  • NuMe
    NuMe  
    Great review!
  • Miss Cinnamon
    Miss Cinnamon  
    Those conflicting "bottom theories" would confuse me, too! Very nice review
  • Juliettia
    Juliettia  
    Thank you everyone.
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    Good review!
  • Minxy
    Minxy  
    I had no idea what a "Top" was, now I do. Thanks for the review.
  • hotcoktail
    hotcoktail  
    great job
  • Lady Neshamah
    Lady Neshamah  
    thanks for the review
  • oldman
    oldman  
    Sounds like a book was everyone to read.
  • teachmetouchme
    teachmetouchme  
    Just not for us.
  • mbattles
    mbattles  
    sounds quality
  • corsetsaurus rex
    corsetsaurus rex  
    Sounds like a good book. Thanks for the review!
  • Aydios
    Aydios  
    thanks
  • thisisadeletedaccount
    thisisadeletedaccount  
    I love my copy of this, thanks for the review!
  • Katt
    Katt  
    Thanks for the review
  • Ashleyxx
    Ashleyxx  
    thanks
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