Not for those who want BDSM 24/7

The New Topping Book is a great book for those who are interesting in strictly doing scenes, or going to lifestyle events. But if you are looking for information on how to live a 24/7 lifestyle, or are an intermediate or above when it comes to BDSM, you might want to pass.
Published:
Pros
Well written, great guide for those that go to events, good information
Cons
Not very much information about living a 24/7 lifestyle.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

About author

The authors, Dossie Easton (who identifies as a dyke queer bottom) and Janet W. Hardy (who identifies as a bisexual switch) are both veterans in the S/M world. They have written other books, namely, the first versions of The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book, and The Ethical Slut. Before this, I had never read anything from either of them. Their style of writing is very conversational, and easy to read.
    • Engaging
    • Expert author
    • Multiple contributoring authors

Content / Style / Audience

Let me start by saying that I bought this book, and The New Bottoming Book at the same time, and the idea was that my husband and I were both going to read both of the books. We are plenty experienced with bondage in the bedroom, but wanted to dabble a little bit more into a true D/s relationship and didn't know where to start. Someone in the forums recommended these books, so after they came back in stock, I nabbed them.

Prior to reading this book, I was already well aware of the fact that some people live BDSM as a 24/7 lifestyle, some people keep it in the bedroom, and some people bring out their kink at events. I already had a basic idea of the fundamental things involved in BDSM. I also had a fairly good idea of the safety precautions involved with doing a scene.

So, with that being said, I guess I was a little disappointed in this book. There was a whopping ONE chapter on living a 24/7 BDSM relationship. The rest was a lot of repetitive information about making sure your bottom is taken care of in a scene, not forgetting after-care, getting consent, and that kind of thing. There were also some interludes that described scenes.

The chapters in the book are:
Foreward: Re-Visioning
1. Hello Again!
2. What is it about Topping Anyway?
3. What Do Tops Do?
Interlude 1
4. Rights and Responsibilities
5. How Do You Learn to Do This Stuff?
Interlude 2
6. Soaring Higher
7. BDSM Ethics
8. On Your Mark... Get Set...
Interlude 3
9. Go!
10. And If It Doesn't Go the Way You Planned
11. Toys for Tops
Interlude 4
12. Finding Others
13. Special Cases
14. Full-Time D/s
15. Shadow Play: Darkside S/M
16. S/M Spirituality: From the Top
17: The Light That Shines In the Darkness
Resource Guide
Poem

So, as you can pretty much tell by the names of the chapters, there is a lot of 'respect' type things. Don't get me wrong... that IS important to know, but this is NOT the book I was looking for. It would be perfect for someone who was considering just doing scenes with partners, or going to events with the intention of participating in scenes. Even from a psychological standpoint though, this book didn't really give me any information that I hadn't already read in hours of scouring the EF forums.
    • Bdsm
    • Instructional / educational
    • Non-fiction

Design

The book is 210 pages, and despite the various color variations you see all over the internet, it is more of a lime green than anything else. Remember that really cheesy clip art you'd see on websites in the mid 90's? That is what the figure in the middle of the 'O' looks like. It's a gender-ambiguous (as far as I can tell) figure holding a whip. Unless someone was 'in the know' I think you could probably read this book anywhere, and nobody would know what it was about. Not many people outside the lifestyle know what 'Topping' is, in that sense of the word, and the figure holding the whip could easily be mistaken for a guy holding a fishing pole.
    • Discreet cover
    • Soft cover
    • Well made

Experience

I gave the book 4 stars, because despite the fact that it isn't what I was looking for, and the fact that I didn't get much out of it, it's not a bad book, it's not badly written, and there ARE some people who would get a lot of use out of this book.
Follow-up commentary
I read this book before I had ANY topping experience at all. Now that I've had a little, I am realizing that there were parts of this book that I didn't think would apply to me that ended up coming in handy. A lot of the information that I thought would only apply in 'scenes' with play partners, and not with someone you are in a 24/7 relationship, actually still applies, especially in the realm of punishment.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Bex1331
    Thanks for the review! It's too bad it wasn't quite what you were looking for.
  • Contributor: LaSchwartz
    Amazing review, I was wondering about this book but it's not for me. Thanks for sharing !
  • Contributor: G&L
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: TransMarc
    Still sounds like a good book! Thanks for reviewing.
  • Contributor: Tessa Taboo
    If anyone has any suggestions for a book that IS what I'm looking for, I'm all ears
  • Contributor: Master DarkWolf
    Good review...
  • Contributor: DreamWolf
    Great review!
  • Contributor: Heatherbipoly
    ty great review
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