Needs to be discontinued – does not work.

The idea behind this toy makes sense but if falls short. I realize we would not want a major suction on our clits but there is no way this will convince a clit to wake up, let alone pull blood into it. Would make a good gag gift.....Very disappointing to say the least. Can't even think of another use for it.
Published:
Pros:
Looks nice and cute and like it should work.
Cons:
Does not work at all. Battery hog.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

The advanced clitoral pump claims that it has incredible suction and will make your orgasms and intimate play more intense. I did read some horrible reviews but thought if it even worked a little it might help. What I got out of the idea of the clitoral pump is that by placing the suction around the clit and then pumping, the blood would flow to that location for a more aroused, somewhat swollen clitoris. Then, the clitoris should be more sensitive to any play that comes after. So, basically the use seems to be aimed at foreplay.

The vibrations of this toy are supposed to be the boost that takes it from awesome to amazing. However, since I could not feel the vibrations at all. In my opinion, this toy is USELESS. I think its sole purpose might be to enrage me because I've never been angrier at a toy. Who will this toy work for? Maybe those who already have super sensitive clits, but that's really not the point, is it?
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • On a bed only
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

This clitoral pump is made of plastic and TPR. The whole body is plastic, while the sleeves are the only flexible part and made of TPR. Plastic is non-porous and rated an 8 on the safety scale. Of course, none of the plastic parts touch you. TPR has a safety rating of 7 and is porous, yet it's the part of the toy that will be in contact with your bodily fluids. It's suggested to use a condom if sharing TPR toys or just to keep it cleaner.

The sleeves seem to pick up lint and hair easily at least mine did. As flexible as they were I would have expected a better seal. I could get it to stick if I used lubricant but it was not the incredible suction touted by the maker. To get it to stay for very long, I had to squeeze it every so often. Not only that, it had a rubbery smell that did not wash off.
    • Sticky
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

I think the idea makes perfect sense. I'm not even sure where all the design went wrong. The vibrations don't transfer out of the handle, so I'm guessing the 3 vrooms on the product page are for the handle of the toy and not the part that actually makes contact.

You can pump a few times before this pops off, or the pump gets screwed up...nowhere near enough to actually convince your clit that it needs to wake up. I think the vibration may actually loosen the little bit of grip that this pump might have. The fact that you have to stuff foam behind the head of this pump in order to not ruin the toy also seems a little design-flawed.

There is a flexible neck for the pump. Good idea, but it just didn't pan out. It's not a discreet toy, the TPR covers attract lint like crazy, and it's super easy to accidentally turn on while traveling. The item is 7 inches long and 2 inches wide.
    • Might work if a person has a sensitive clit.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The product page says the pump functions are sucking and vibrating. I just want to point that out to those who insist that people only rate this poorly because it doesn't create a sucking simulation but rather a pumping one. That being said, it doesn't really suck, and it vibrates...in all the wrong places.

At least there is only one button on the handle to work for vibrations, and there are 3 different vibration speeds. Just press it, but even that had to be done with force. It did click when it changed speed or turned off. There was not much difference between the 2nd and 3rd speed, though. That at least seemed like a good idea.

It's not waterproof, but at least it's not that loud. I don't really know what to say for the function section since it essentially does not function as intended. It does take two AAA batteries. 2 AAA batteries just don’t last that long.

After placing the end where you want it you squeeze the red bulb and hope. I could get it to stick if I did not mess with the vibration at all but it was not strong enough to pull blood into the clitoris. I tried it on my nipples but it wouldn’t begin to suck or attach to the nipple let alone give me a hard nipple.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Not discreet at all
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

Basically, the only thing that needs cleaned are the TPR sleeves, unless a person would decide to use the handle, which I forgot to even try, and those can just be cleaned with soap and water or toy cleaner.

I did not find it very easy to change the sleeves. Two sleeves are included. The issue is letting them air dry without having them attract any dirt, fuzz, lint, or hair. Oil-based lubricants cannot be used with these sleeves.

I have stored it in its original box up until this review. Even being in the box does not keep it clean. I considered trying to send it back but I plan to throw it out after the follow up. I think I did give it an honest try. However, if you must purchase it and plan to store it, keep it in a cool place because these sleeves seem especially prone to melting or becoming disfigured. If it is like some items made of this type or similar material, extremes in temperature over time could cause them to get hard.
    • Difficult to store
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance

Packaging

It was packaged in a card board box that was not that discreet. And the pump itself was in a plastic bag inside the box. Since parts of the pump stuck to the plastic bag I ended up destroying the bag. The box is a good place to store it in but even then it does not stay clean. There were no instructions in the package. If you used it as a gift you might want to wrap the box and then only give as a gag or joke. Someone might get a good laugh.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

Don't waste your time.

Experience

When I got it to stick to my clit there was no feeling. I could tell it was stuck as long as I did not turn on the vibrator part. As soon as you do it breaks loose.
Follow-up commentary
I still don't like it. Even used it giving it a fair shake up until I put it in the box for return. I almost wonder if there was a hole in the air tube.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • js250 js250
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Comments
  • Chastity Darling
    Chastity Darling  
    Thanks for the warning.
  • Joycec
    Joycec  
    I agree! I got one of these for myself a couple of years ago and yeah, it has a permanent spot in the bottom of my toybox.
  • Porkchop and Izzie
    Porkchop and Izzie  
    Thanks
  • *Camoprincess*
    *Camoprincess*  
    Thanks for the review, I have one of these as well an it was an epic fail. Even the foam that goes in behind the sleeves didn't help my poor pump. Fluids still got in I am not sure if this went to the toy graveyard or if its still in my collection.
  • ArchVixen
    ArchVixen  
    Oh man, I'll definitely pass on this one. Thanks for the review!
  • Hazeleyes2012
    Hazeleyes2012  
    Round file for this one!
  • stlouisxxx
    stlouisxxx  
    Thanks for the review, will have to look for a different clitoral pump
  • js250
    js250  
    Great review--love your honesty!! Mine is at the toy graveyard........
  • Dixiemomma
    Dixiemomma  
    sorry it didnt work or you! i have one and it works ok... as well as i expected it to atleast... thanks or the review!
  • nikki0668
    nikki0668  
    Thanks for the review.
  • Edeneve
    Edeneve  
    good review. my experience w/ clit pumps has only been successful with only one.
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