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Ooh, Look! 'Evolved' Birthed a Tiny Vibe Baby!

This was a surprisingly quality toy, for the size. Despite the packaging and simple design, it does just what it says it will, and with a bit of flair. The vibrations buzz like a bee who's far enough away to make you feel safe: they're quiet but dangerous enough to bring you to orgasm. Sweet like honey, and sparkly like the earth on the day you were born.
Published:
Pros:
Offered in multiple colors, compact, safe material, good vibrations.
Cons:
Cheap packaging, looks cheap, too small for insertion.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

For the classy lady on the go, the college dorm dweller, or the birthstone themed product collector, 'Evolved' has created Birthstones, the vibrator. So compact it hides easily in your palm, ready to whip out of your purse or sock drawer in those moments of need.

This clitoral bullet is great for quick priming of your nipples and your lovebead. You can couple it with your favorite dildo or use it solo to drive you mad with pleasure.

It's strong enough to surprise and impress you, quiet enough to let your roommate sleep undisturbed, and cute enough to remind you of unicorns dancing in buttercup fields, pushing yesterday's frightening phallic vibes to the wayside.

It's also waterproof, so you can take it into the shower or let it accompany you to the pool for splashtime fun.

It also makes a great bridesmaids gift, so that those bridesmaids who don't get any from the groomsmen can still have sex. With themselves.

In the rain, on a plane, in a boat, with a goat, for your wife, in times of strife, if your roommate's a nosy bastard. I do like Birthstones in my hand, I do like Birthstones, Sam I Am!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bridesmaids gift
    • Persons with clitori
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Compact
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

This plastic vibrator carries no smell, thankfully. Plastic does not smell sexy! To touch it is 100% smooth, so your favorite lube will not hang out here, but slide around pretty easily (which may cause need for reapplication).

The texture makes this perfect for beginners, as those with clits or nips o'steel will need more stimulation than the smooth gliding over the clit this will provide. There is literally no grip here whatsoever, so any action is limited to the buzzing that the motor creates.

The plastic used here is one of the more body-safe materials used in the manufacturing of sex toys. It doesn't off-gas, and it will basically last forever. Unless you place it in the sun for a reeeally long time. Then it will photo-degrade and break down into smaller bits. Like the plastic bits swirling in one of several 'Plastic Islands' in our oceans.

Plastic is also made with petroleum, which is something to consider if you're concerned about such things.
    • Not porous at all
    • Not super eco-friendly

Design / Shape / Size

This was so surprisingly small, I was shocked! If it were paired in product profile photos with a familiar object, it would have been nice. I expected a traditional vibrator/dildo, but what I got was much more my style.

The inch long base/cap for the battery compartment provides a decent place for delicate 3 finger gripping, freeing up the tapered tip to pinpoint your sensitive spots. Your hands may start to tingle or go numb after about ten minutes of high buzzing, though.

The basecap unscrews to allow insertion of one AAA battery, not included. Which, if you're like me, is quite unfortunate, since you have no electronic devices around to house such a battery, and have to make a trip to Home Depot just for the baby vibe.

A swift twisting of the base and you're rocking. The design is simple but effective for the intended purpose. There really are no bells or whistles here, just a good, compact clitoral bullet.

At a mere 2" circumference, 3" insertable, and 4" total including the base, the Birthstones vibe is not for insertion unless you're looking for that 'barely there' feeling, but does carry the advantage of being 'slip-in-your-purse' worthy. It's light and slim.

The decorative gem on the base serves only as a theme - you may choose your birthstone or your favorite color, which is pretty cool. It would make a cute birthday gift for sure.

Ooh, sparkly!
    • Beginner

Functions / Performance / Controls

The controls are as basic as they come. Slide in the AAA battery, twist the cap closed. If you tighten it beyond a certain point, the motor will whir to life and you're free to sit back with a smile and get buzzed.

The vibrations are greatest just an inch below the tapered tip, which is where the motor is located. You can see it hiding out if you peer down inside the battery compartment. The motor location allows for great pinpointing on your clit. You can also slide the slim vibe up and down your clit and around your nipples, turning it and twirling it in your fingers as you play.

It would be great if this had varying patterns, or even a tad stronger vibrations. This vibe would get 5 stars from me if the surface was textured even the slightest. As it is the vibrations can get a little lost between the lube (natural or other lube you may have selected for the occasion) and your clit. That bundle of nerves responds well to variations in stimulation, and the Birthstones vibe does just one thing, though it does do that one thing well enough.

The white plastic o-ring on the base cap works great for keeping water out for wetter play. I'd have no qualms or fears taking this with me into the shower or tub, or the sea for a sexy swim!
    • Easy to use
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

Plastic is compatible with lubes of all types, which is a bonus for sure. Removing the battery or inverting it (positive contact on the negative and vice versa) when not in use will extend the battery life.

Be sure to leave in the tube of paper lying inside the shaft. It helps with noise reduction during use.

Since the Birthstones vibe is waterproof, cleanup is easy with soap and water. The surface has a tendency to invite sweat and other fluids to hang out on its surface, but they will easily wipe away.

If you're wanting to share, make sure to sterilize it with alcohol on a cotton ball before you hand it over, or take it back.

Toss it in the drawer with the rest of your toys and rest easy. This vibe does play well with others! At worst it may collect some lint which you can brush or blow away. Then you're ready to play.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The way this came packaged had me immediately skeptical of the usefulness of this vibe. First off, it was so tiny. Second, there's basically nothing to the box it comes in. It displays the name and manufacturer, and doesn't give any useful information regarding set up or clean up.
It is labeled 'Made in China,' and says 'Massager' in 6 languages.

A simple drawing mimes to us not to throw this in the garbage... hmm, I wonder where else we should put it should it buzz its last on us one day? Other than 'not in the garbage,' this box certainly isn't giving us any clues. Maybe it thinks the 'precious stones' used here are too valuable for mere mortal trashcans. The world may never know.

A simple disclaimer on the box contains the usual disclaimer:
'This product is sold and should be used as an adult novelty only and should never be other than for external use. It should not be used on a prolonged or frequent basis. It should not be used on swollen or inflamed areas or near or on skin lacerations. No medical claims are warranted or implied by the use of this product. The shape and appearance of the product inside this package are proprietary trademark and trade dress of Evolved Novelties, Inc. Los Angeles, CA.'

If you're intent upon storing this in a box, the package it came in would do just fine; though it certainly doesn't conceal the vibrator and is a bit fumbly to open.
    • Minimal
    • Would make a nice gift
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Eva Schwaltz
    Eva Schwaltz  
    Great review, very informative.
  • XYCopperheadSly
    XYCopperheadSly  
    Good information, Thanks
  • NarcissisticLust
    NarcissisticLust  
    Very fun review, thanks
  • Pixel
    Pixel  
    Nice review! The pics were definitely informative. I'm sad that this is too small for inserting though, it looked like it could be a fun vibe to add to my toybox.

    Just so you know, alcohol doesn't actually sterilize anything. All you're doing when you wipe something with alcohol (like an injection site, for example) is moving the germs around. Bleach will actually kill germs. /Paramedic

  • FaerieLove
    FaerieLove  
    Wonderfully written review lady. lots of information and detail . They are such a cute idea, I'm thinking of maybe just picking one up for traveling?
  • aliceinthehole
    aliceinthehole  
    faerie love... traveling is a great use for this! thanks for the compliments, everyone. glad to be of service!

  • Beck
    Beck  
    Thanks for the review. I love the title!
  • kadytheredpanda
    kadytheredpanda  
    You are an awesome reviewer! You are both entertaining and informative at the same time. I also love how you included a picture for size comparison as well. Any possible information is very helpful.

    Definitely putting on the wish list!
  • aliceinthehole
    aliceinthehole  
    kady, thanks so much for such a sweet compliment! it's really nice to be appreciated, and i'm so glad you enjoy my reviews.
  • kadytheredpanda
    kadytheredpanda  
    No problem!
  • Glac
    Glac  
    good review, thanks
  • AriBoi
    AriBoi  
    Great review, thanks!
  • Blake Klink
    Blake Klink  
    nice review
  • Michelle Conner
    Michelle Conner  
    nice review
  • Alyona
    Alyona  
    magic
  • Hoshigetsu
    Hoshigetsu  
    great review love the comparison at the beginning
  • hillys
    hillys  
    thanks
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