How to get past the "your too big" for anal.

wrock wrock
I have done it a few times with my wife and its not like I need to have anal sex any amount of times in fact I cant remember the last time we did it. The common theme however is that it doesnt last long as she says I am just to thick for her to take. Now I know you can train or get the ass used to it but is there a way I can introduce this into play without it seeming overly important?
12/28/2010
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Tuesday Tuesday
Maybe she just doesn't want to. It does sound like you're too big for her. You can try to convince her to let you stretch her out with increasingly big dildos but only if she wants to.

I've only had anal with a big guy. On the second or third try I tore. Trust me, you do NOT want that. Super painful. Lots of blood. Took forever to heal.

BTW, do you want something large up your ass? Try to think of it from her perspective. Not everyone wants that.
12/28/2010
Oxygen99 Oxygen99
From experience; there is no getting past it. If you're too big, you're too big. I've had guys with nice large horse cocks before, and I wouldn't let them anywhere near my ass. I think it's one of those things you're just going to have to learn to live with out. It took a lot of tries and many years for my husband, who has a relatively average size cock, to be able to have anal sex with me. I'm sure there are some anal size queens out there, but I think most women are going to be more than a little trepidatious about letting you put it in their ass.
12/28/2010
ScottA ScottA
If she thinks you're too big then you're too big. If she wants to work up to it with progressive relaxation and using larger things (toys, fingers, whatever) then she probably can, unless you're really big (over 1-3/4 to 2" in diameter), but until she wants to quit bugging her about it. If she likes anal play then find some other way to stimulate her and keep her interest up - who knows, she might take the plunge eventually. If she does DON'T RUSH IT - take a month or more to work her up.
12/29/2010
dv8 dv8
Use LOTS of lube.
12/31/2010
Shellz31 Shellz31
The way I built up to a large size (8" circumference) was to use different size toys and take it slow. The more I use toys anally, the more I got use to it and was able to upgrade.

It basically comes down to whether your wife really wants to go that far. I have heard that a lot of females only like tiny anal toys.
If she isn't that interested in taking your size, then she won't be able to relax enough for it to happen.
12/31/2010
Persephone's Addiction Persephone's Addiction
Yeah, you can definitely "work up to it" - you just have to be patient. You could try incorporating other types of anal stimulation until she feels comfortable with full penetration.
After the videos I've seen on the internet, I'm not convinced that any human penis is outside the boundaries of what will fit. (example of the sort of video I'm talking about - If the human body can accommodate two arm-sized dildos in the anus simultaneously, a penis seems so reasonable...) lol
12/31/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone's Addiction
Yeah, you can definitely "work up to it" - you just have to be patient. You could try incorporating other types of anal stimulation until she feels comfortable with full penetration.
After the videos I've seen on the internet, ... More
But not everyone can accommodate something that big. An average human penis (1.5-1.75" diameter) should be within range, but two arm-sized dildos can easily exceed the space between the bones of the pelvis on some people.
12/31/2010
Czechmate Czechmate
I agree that sometimes it's just too big, but also practicing taking comfortable anal toys then slowly increasing the size can help over a course of days or weeks. I have taken large dildos up to 9" long and 7" around, took alot of patience!
01/01/2011
PassionQT PassionQT
Yes, a sphincter can be trained to stretch, but if the rest of a person's anatomy can't handle the girth, don't force the issue. I once injured my tailbone from taking one that was too thick. Believe me, it's not worth the discomfort and all the pain meds! And my partner at the time was gentle too!
01/01/2011
Bobbear41 Bobbear41
Quote:
Originally posted by wrock
I have done it a few times with my wife and its not like I need to have anal sex any amount of times in fact I cant remember the last time we did it. The common theme however is that it doesnt last long as she says I am just to thick for her to take. ... More
Speaking as a man with a thick penis, I can say that it takes time, practice and desire on her part. If she doesn't want to do it, no amount of prep will make the act comfortable for her. Even if she does want to take you anally, understand that until the two of you have had a LOT of practice it's not something that can or should be done on the spur of the moment.
Start slow and small.. The preparation phase may take months.. So suck it up and don't force the issue. Go at her speed. She will tell you when she is ready for another finger or thicker toy or even for your cock. Be ready for her to think she is ready only to find out that she isn't and to back off. Be responsible. If what you are doing appears to be harming your partner STOP! regardless of whether or not they are saying Yes! Yes!. Then, lube, lube, lube. More lube than you think you'll need. Lube is very personal. The lube should be up to the person being penetrated. Experiment and find the lube that she likes best. I'm poly (for simplicity that means I have more than one lover) and each lover prefers a different lube for anal. One lover like the plain old KY Jelly, another likes a very expensive silicone lube, and another prefers regular Astroglide. You will find out which works best just like you'll find out what position works best. One of my lovers cums from taking me in her ass doggy style, another can't cum that way and requires clitoral stimulation, so her on her back works better. Be ready to spend some time and money. You'll need to do a lot of practice and experimentation and at the end she may still not enjoy it. Sometimes those are the breaks unfortunately..
01/08/2011
xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
Quote:
Originally posted by wrock
I have done it a few times with my wife and its not like I need to have anal sex any amount of times in fact I cant remember the last time we did it. The common theme however is that it doesnt last long as she says I am just to thick for her to take. ... More
anal isnt my thing so im sorry if your too big its just not up for questioning.
01/08/2011
xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
Quote:
Originally posted by Bobbear41
Speaking as a man with a thick penis, I can say that it takes time, practice and desire on her part. If she doesn't want to do it, no amount of prep will make the act comfortable for her. Even if she does want to take you anally, understand that ... More
thickness is definitly more of a problem than length thats for sure.
01/08/2011
ScottA ScottA
The other important thing is to choose a position where the receiver can relax as much as possible. Don't choose one where the bottom has to hold themselves up. Use pillows, a bed, whatever so they can concentrate on relaxing and enjoying.

Don't play with your partner's genitals while you're inserting or immediately after insertion, as it will often result in their anus tightening up. Play before insertion and later on.
01/08/2011
Vinroe Vinroe
If you want it go very slow work up to it session by session however don't start breaking out the plugs right away. Talk to here before going there. As an individual who enjoys giving and receiving anal I can tell you right now no one wants to have 'King Kong Dong' or 'Long Dong Silver' thrust upon them without a by your leave.
01/12/2011
Yoda Yoda
Quote:
Originally posted by Vinroe
If you want it go very slow work up to it session by session however don't start breaking out the plugs right away. Talk to here before going there. As an individual who enjoys giving and receiving anal I can tell you right now no one wants to ... More
I concur.
01/12/2011
Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
The last thing you want to do is to hurt her. Anal scarring takes a long time to heal and it interferes with your bowel movements (could rip and make new scars every time she poops), plus infections.

The most important thing is to gauge her desire, if she truly wants to take you in the ass eventually then you have to be patient, train (maybe months/years and work up to your size with toys, lots of lube, always stop if it starts getting painful).

If it seems like she's trying to avoid the subject or push you away, don't force it. If you really want to f^%& something in the ass so much there are anal masturbators.
12/03/2011
Brianna91 Brianna91
Some girls simply arent cut out for anal. I'm skinny with a small butt and even though it is small I've been with and easily handle a guy who is VERY endowed down there. A friend of mine is always wanting anal but can barely take it with even a regular size guy, and she is bigger than me with a bouncy rear. So who knows? I'm usually of the opinion that people either take right to something, or maybe its just not for them.
12/04/2011
jedent jedent
we're currently in a "it's too big" predicament, and i don't feel like trying to ever change that.
12/04/2011
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 16