The New Bottoming Book by Greenery Press - review by Kitty Mow!

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Bottoms Are People, Too!

I highly recommend this book, as well as its companion, The New Topping Book, for anyone in the scene, whether you've been practicing for years or not. There is nothing like a book that puts kink into perspective to make a person start accepting their sexuality, rather than questioning their sanity.
Published:
Pros:
Terrific theory behind leather sex. Very inclusive language. Well-written.
Cons:
I can't think of a negative.
Rating by reviewer:
4
useful review
The New Bottoming Book, as well as its companion The New Topping Book, are both revised editions of two books written by the women, therapists and long-time players in the San Francisco leather community, who wrote The Ethical Slut. I am of the opinion that both tops and bottoms should read both The New Bottoming Book as well as The New Topping Book. After all, even if all you're getting in more information, even in you never have any intention of switching roles, more information can never hurt. It always leads to stronger scenes, and healthier players to understand things from the other side of the flogger.

This book is a quick read--concise, clean, and fairly short. It doesn't have a lot of "how-to" in it, and they state that right at the beginning. It was never intended to be a bottoming instruction manual. The authors encourage you to go out there, and find out the kind of bottom that you are, rather than trying to fit yourself into a mold someone else created. As a result, they never tell you how to kneel, how to speak correctly, how to follow pretty protocols, or even how to catch a dominant, except in the vaguest terms. What they will tell you is how to be a decent human being and still make room for your own sexuality, without feeling guilty about it.

This really is a therapeutic view of leather sexuality. They talk about boundaries, self-identity, offer various ideas on how to become a better PERSON, rather than a better bottom. Both of the authors have played as tops and bottoms, quite frequently with each other, so have a broader view of how it all works than someone without that experience. You end up reading this book and feeling impressed by the work that they've done on themselves, as well as wanting to get in there, muck about in your psyche, and do that work yourself.
Experience
I'm re-reading this book right now, as a matter of fact. While the psych-speak gets a little wearing at times, it's a wonderful validation of what it is that we do. No, there's no technical knowledge to be found, but it's great research on the theory and psychology behind kink.
Follow-up commentary
My partners and I have all, at this point, read this book. I'm rather thoroughly "kinked up", and have been for several years. They're both just getting started in kink from very different perspectives: my girlfriend is a switch and a sadist, and my boyfriend is almost exclusively a dominant, and periodically a top. The book has been useful for all three of us, and it's been interesting to watch them read the book, and pull in information that I hadn't picked up. Different people offer different nuances and impressions and extrapolations.

At first, my male partner read it strictly because he wanted to better understand me, my needs, and how kink affects me. Now, he's reading it because it's something that he may one day explore for himself. My female partner read it for more personal reasons, and has still gotten a lot of input and understanding for her, me, and our relationships together. There's a lot of psychology, which helps us all make our relationships and sex make sense. All in all, this is a book that I'd say is useful for anyone who is, or is associated with, a bottom. I'd give it more stars, except sometimes there's too much psychology. A little bit goes a long way.
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Comments
  • Jimbo Jones
    Jimbo Jones  
    This sounds like a good informational book about bottoming. In order to earn that last star from you, what would it need, less "psych-speak"? Thanks for your review.
  • Kitty Mow!
    Kitty Mow!  
    Yeah, that would work.
  • Lover of Leather
    Lover of Leather  
    Good review
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