The Ethical Slut - erotic book by Greenery Press - review by Dame Demi

This book (The Ethical Slut|The Ethical Slut) is a definite must-read for anyone who is interested in examining non-monogamy as a way of life, or just as a sexual experiment. It is non-judgmental and fair, never disrespecting monogamy as a choice, but simply presenting the other side of the argument. In particular, I liked this book because it seemed very concerned with making sure that ALL partners in a non-monogamous relationship are comfortable, happy, and satisfied. Non-monogamous, and particularly polyamorous, relationships can be extremely difficult at times, but this book does not shy away from addressing these issues and any concerns those involved might have.

The authors are occasional lovers themselves, and practice the non-monogamous way of life; therefore, they know that of which they write! They present non-monogamy and polyamory as legitimate lifestyle choices, not to be scorned or ridiculed. They truly believe this type of lifestyle can lead to more love and fulfillment in your life. Whether you agree with them or not, their arguments are well-presented and respectful. (For the curious, I am non-monogamous, but not polyamorous.)

The book is well-written and easy and fun to read. It addresses various aspects of respect and sexuality—the need to respect our partners, however many of them there may be, in order to achieve fulfilling and non-damaging sex lives. It teaches to be firm and proud in your decision to be non-monogamous, and regard your lifestyle choices as completely legitimate. The book also points out some of the many pitfalls to this type of lifestyle, and offers sound advice for avoiding them.

The book contains illustrative anecdotes in addition to the didactic text, so you can read for yourself how real people implement these practices into their lives. The book does not gloss over the problems that can arise from this type of lifestyle choice, especially for those who are married or in a committed relationship. But it does offer realistic suggestions for keeping communication open and remaining aware of and sensitive to your partner's (and partners') feelings.

After seeing how the effects of polyamory have played out in my own life, I would warn the merely curious that this book is definitely written from a poly-positive perspective, and does not necessarily detail all the pitfalls of this lifestyle. Also, if you are going to try poly and use this book as a guide, make sure all parties involved agree to adhere to the guidelines of the book, and establish clear boundaries for your own relationship.