The Ethical Slut - book discontinued by Greenery Press - review by bodymodboy

There are two editions of the book, and thankfully I have both. I am unsure if Eden is distributing the newer edition now, but you'll get an overview of both. The two together are very similar, much of the major changes between the two are the way the information is organized and the flow of the chapters. Edition 2 has a much nicer flow, gradually building you up to earn your Merit Badge (with Scouts' honor!), while the Edition 1 has a cacophony of information that makes you stop and process after chewing off big chunks of it. For the rest of the review I'll refer to the differences as E1 or E2, for their respected editions.

First, what is ethical sluttery? Why would one be interested in doing it? An anonymous reviewer for the page wrote, "If you want to forsake all deeper relationships to feed your ego then this book is for you. If you are in a relationship there are better books out there that illustrate the importance of communication and respecting your partners feelings. If you don't give a crap about your partners feelings then this book is for you?" Ignore their spelling errors for now, since I want to focus on the review at hand.

Obviously, the person didn't read the book, or even give it a second glance it seems. This book talks deeply about communication, and even more emphasized in E2. E2 talks about those self-proclaimed "scorers" who just care about adding a notch on their belt, and how that is NOT ethical sluttery. You are expected to uphold mature effective communication, empathy, knowing thyself, and learning to grow. This sort of review shows the sex-negative and monogamy-centered society we have.

E2 has all the same information as E1, however some obvious updates are needed. E1 was written in 1997, and a lot of medical, legal, and social advancements have occurred since then. E2 addresses those, especially the HPV vaccine called Gardisil in their safer sex practices chapter.

E2 also has something that really helps me: breaking points for exercises, which helps you take a breath and process what you read. When I read, and there's no obvious break point (as with E1), I get overwhelmed and can't stop reading. Being told to take a breather, focus on your thoughts and how you feel about what you just read, is really helpful.

It's also helpful when you've been given this book by your lover who may be interested in bettering their relationship with you through the communication techniques in the book, or maybe they're secretly polyamorous and want to explore that option with you. Please get this book if you want to explore your inner self and what matters to you. Everyone can benefit this book even monogamous people, singles, veteran sluts, and teens.

I read the first edition of this book after two years of being single to explore myself. I really didn't focus on my sexuality during those two years, so I opted to try and get into the dating pool again at the beginning of '09. I saw this book on Amazon actually and sort of brushed it off because I said to myself, "I don't want to be a slut. Ew". Boy was I wrong! I later saw a copy at my local Borders, recognized the cover, and immediately rolled my eyes. I took it off the shelf, and actually gave it a look. I read the first two chapters and everything clicked. Why wasn't I able to have happy relationships? Why did I feel constantly guilty about loving two people very deeply at the same time? Why did I end up cheating? It explained everything to me, and I felt liberated. This book helped me with my first polyamorous, and first emotionally healthy, relationship that I am still in now!