As Awkward & Unpredictable As Your First TimeIn the end, this vibrator demonstrated all the confidence, deft maneuvering, control and consistency of a 14 year old kid fumbling around with you under a blanket on the couch. Which is to say that this vibrator had NONE of those things. So if you're interested in replicating the often awkward and unfulfilling experience of virginity lost, or perhaps would just like to trigger some icky memories of an unsatisfactory partner you've had in the past, this is the toy for you.
The iTap is a small egg vibrator which fits easily in the palm of your hand. It is not attached by wire to a remote device of any kind; instead it is turned on by the simple tapping of your finger...or anything else. The egg's speeds can be changed by tapping, and after cycling through all five settings the vibrator may be turned off with a final tap. Because the egg does not have any kind of handle or base, and no wire to aid in 'retrieval', it is not advisable to insert vaginally or anally. However if maintaining a tight grip, the perineum, external portion of the anus, labia and clitoris can all be accessed adequately with this design.
Still, while the iTap has no problems getting in touch with your intimate bits or providing the vibrations necessary to rock your socks, it lacks the kind of user-friendly control needed to get off by anything other than a fluke. Gambling and masturbation are generally very unfit for analogy, so when I start to think of my sexy time in terms of probability I know something has gone awry. That's what it comes down to with this vibrator, though. If the stars align and I don't accidentally bump the touch activated interface at a crucial moment, I might get through to the end of the session and reach orgasm. But 9 times out of 10 (see! probability! it doesn't belong here!) I end up so frustrated I have to either stop entirely or commission another toy to finish the job. I was even less successful in using this with a partner. As the number of body parts increased, so did the odds of accidentally hitting the controls and ruining the fun.
The egg is entirely smooth and can become very slippery with lubricant, and since there's no insertion going on your best bet is to avoid added lubrication. There is no seam except for a slight ridge that separates the 'body' of the toy from the battery cap, but it is not noticeable during use.
The iTap is slightly unique in terms of design in that it is more of a long, broad cylindrical shape that maintains an even width throughout. Unlike other 'eggs' that are shaped like actual eggs, this toy is easier to grip on its sides because of these features. Its broad surface area also distribute vibrations (which were not localized in any particular part of the toy) very nicely. The power of the functions threaten to numb sensitive areas, but since they are spread throughout the surrounding area, I found the brute force of this thing kept mostly in check. Because this toy is not meant for insertion, any 'level' of user can use it without worry. In terms of its size and design it is just as well suited for beginners as it is advanced users.
ONE TAP: strong, steady, continuous vibration
TWO TAPS: very strong, steady, continuous vibration
THREE TAPS: bz bz BZZZZZ bz bz BZZZZZ, unequally timed vibrations; two brief bursts of vibration followed by an extended vibration, emphasis on third vibration (one, two, THREEEEE)
FOUR TAPS: bz bz bz bz bz bz bz bz bz, equally timed and equally emphasized (one, two, three, four)
FIVE TAPS: BZ bz BZ bz BZ bz, equally timed vibrations with emphasis on first and third vibrations (ONE, two, THREE, four)
The toy starts out auspiciously as a strong vibrator that has the potential to avoid desensitization issues by dispersing the vibration through a larger surface area. In my experience the design was excellent in terms of distributing vibrations; I felt them strongly on my clitoris, for example, but not with excessive force. The vibration was also pleasantly extended to contingent bits like my labia, but again not with excessive force. However, my hand itself became very over-stimulated (itchy-tickling kind of over-stim) and eventually somewhat desensitized. And believe me, sensitive hands is exactly what I needed if I ever had any hope of getting an orgasm out of this thing.
Truth is, it is possible to have an orgasm with this toy. I finally exacted one from it after several tries, but sex isn't supposed to be stressful! Stressed is exactly how this toy left me. It was very difficult to hold the iTap in place and not disturb its touch pad, and because it's a relatively wide vibrator it requires a pretty firm grip. If you even THINK of adding another person into the mix you are nearly guaranteed a lot of frustratingly abrupt cessation or change in function. The iTap is also inconsistent the amount of touch if requires to change its settings; a very light skimming of the pad may do it while a somewhat harder tap may not. It has also failed to turn on for me on two occasions. I always remove batteries between uses, and upon putting the batteries back in and replacing the cap the vibrator would not turn on no matter what I did. When I returned to it later in both instances it did, in fact, turn on. But this is still another way in which the iTap is not a consistent lover.
This little egg is also QUITE loud. If you share a room, or live in a space that has thin walls, this will not be a great choice. Easily heard through sheets and doors, its buzz is tremendously obvious and also annoying for the user! The motor seems to rattle somewhat against the egg itself, creating a really awful buzzsaw racket. Also keep in mind that if you need to quickly silence this one you have to cycle through all five of its settings in order to return to the off setting. If you simply require temporary silence a trick is to hold your finger down on the touchpad: the vibrator remains silent for as long as there is pressure on the touchpad, and resumes vibration once the pressure is abated. So if you had to answer a phone quickly, you could theoretically have some silence. However, if you had to quickly answer a door you would be out of luck. The battery cap is also not easy to remove, which eliminates another option for a speedy make-shift off-switch.
The package was nice in that it featured none of the greased up, orange-tanned models that tend to grace Cal Exotics' boxes. I adamantly support this designing choice and hope it indicates a shift for Cal Exotics toward more appealing advertising. And while my boyfriend and I really couldn't figure out how the picture of white flower blossoms related to the product in any way, it provided us some good-natured amusement.
Of course, it just doesn't pan out very well when used as a vibrator.
My partner and I did, however, find another very good use for it. For part of his avant-noise senior recital (studio composition major, he was) we tapped this "on" once and set it down inside of a piano on top of the strings. It would bounce around and change from setting to setting, creating some really neat syncopation stuff. The play would follow the dictation of the vibrator, and it ended up being very cool.
So. For bizarre, esoteric art school performance? This is great. But for its intended use as a vibrator? Don't do it.