Bend over intermediate kit - harness and dildo set discontinued by Tantus - review by PassionCpl

My hubby and I have often brought pegging up in conversations over the last 10 years but never really made a concerted effort to give it a go. I already had a big (9") dildo that I'd used with a previous g/f but that's hardly the best starting place for a hubby who's never had more than a finger 'up there'. We picked up a Doc Johnson set (Ultra Harness 2000) a few years back but even that was too much for him so it sat gathering dust while we've been resigned to just the fantasy aspect of things. Cue the Bend Over Intermediate Kit from Tantus. It's nice to look at (always a plus - who wants to play with something that may be functional but doesn't look good?) and just the right blend of form and function for what we wanted in a strap on kit.

The kit comes with all you need to jump right into the wonderful world of strap-on sex (except lube and a sense of adventure, but since you're looking at this you've probably already got the latter, right?). It's essentially just a nylon-strapped harness with triangular, velvet-fronted pad that holds the included bullet vibe (just in case the act of strapping a dildo on to shag your partner isn't enough to turn you on) and press-stud o-ring holder for compatible dildos. The two included in this particular kit are Tantus' own Silk Medium and Silk Large, both of which have their own reviews here and are very nice dildos in their own right.

If you're looking for a harness that's going to last you for the rest of your days then this may not be it. However, it's mostly nylon rather than leather, so that means it's both waterproof (although the velvet on the front of the harness may not like you too much) and is going to take a fair amount of normal use.

The two included dildos are 100% silicone (Tantus say their dildos are hand-made in the USA from high-quality premium silicone that is hypoallergenic, phthalate free, hygienic, odorless and tasteless). The purple ones have an attractive, almost iridescent sheen - they look like something you just want to use! They're definitely good quality and although I would have liked more firmness - especially from the Medium - they work well for anal play and are perfect for vaginal use too.



The silicone that Tantus used to make these dildos is very good - not only are they silky smooth (hence the name of them, I suppose), but they respond well to lube. You know those materials that you come across from time to time in life where you just want to keep touching them? Put some lube on one of these dildos and you'll have found another. The first thing I thought when I had mine lubed up was "Like a hot knife through butter". Corny yes, but definitely true!

The Bend Over kits are made pretty well. We've seen these retailing for more than they cost here on EF and wouldn't pay the MRP but I'd say it's well worth the price that EF is charging. This opinion is based mostly on the harness itself. Our only criticism of the harness is that the front (where the dildo is held in place) is quite thin, which meant that I soon started to get a little sore from the base of the dildo hitting my pubic bone. A little extra padding would have been REALLY nice on this. As it is, we really have to take it easy, making this kit (or the harness at least) better for slow & sensual pegging than for going 'bang at it'.

The two included dildos are nice though. We bought the purple set since it looks a little more interesting than the black (that's subjective of course). The dildos are the Silk Medium and Silk Large, and if you're buying this kit just for pegging then the large really IS large! We knew it would be too large for us but since we knew that the small one that comes with the Bend Over Beginner would be too small for either of us it was worth the little extra to get a larger dildo that could be used for something else (i.e. me!). Both dildos have a large round base so you're not going to lose them during use if you decide to play without the harness. They're 'O' ring compatible and the kit comes with the two necessary rings. Four clips hold the ring in place on the front of the harness and the holder is adjustable enough to pull the dildo tight to the harness, so there's no danger of it flopping around during use.

The dildos themselves are non-realistic which can tend to be important to some people, so there are no ridges or bumps to get in the way/enhance the experience depending on your point of view. In fact these are very, very smooth and rounded at the head. The only thing we'd change is the rounded head - it makes the dildos look very nice and they certainly do their job but a slight taper would have been nice too. Having said that, this IS the 'Intermediate Kit' so it can't be considered a complaint that there's no tapering for easier insertion!

As with the majority of harnesses like this, this is a 'one size fits all' deal. Obviously this means that it has a wider appeal, but the problem with that is that if you have a slimmer/smaller build you're going to be standing there looking more like you're about to climb Everest than to take your partner to their own dizzying heights. The straps are easy to adjust though by means of the plastic buckles, and the whole thing gets tight enough to hold everything in place. Just be aware that you may end up wanting to trim off the excess since flapping nylon straps aren't likely to be the kind of dangly things you want when you're having strap-on sex.

The included rubber o-rings mean that it's easy to interchange other dildos of choice with this harness, the sizes of the two that are included are 3.2" x 3.2" x 8.2" long for the Silk Large, while the Silk Medium measures 1.2" x 1.2" x 5.5" long (note that those dimensions are NOT the ones listed for those two dildos here on EF!). It's also worth noting that the Large dildo has a slightly bulbous head. It's definitely not a dealbreaker for vaginal use but if you're pegging then you should probably bear it in mind.

The bullet can be a bit fiddly and it only has one setting so that can be a bit much depending on what you like against your clit. That's an easy fix though - just buy another bullet and pop it in. As I've already mentioned, the straps can be fiddly and get in the way a little, but that comes with the territory with a harness like this I suppose. Even so, this is still pretty comfortable to use. My hubby got more out of it than I did thanks to the pressure of the dildo's base against my crotch but the whole thing stayed right where it was supposed to and it was sexy knowing that I could hold his hips and fuck him without the worry that something might fall out of place on the harness itself. We were able to use it for a few positions although the Silk Medium (i.e. the smaller of the two dildos in this kit) was too short for missionary position pegging. Doggy (hence 'Bend Over' of course), spoons and cowgirl (cowboy?) positions all worked well with this harness, as did a few others.

Another nice thing about this kit is the fact that the dildos are great on their own, so you don't need the harness or anything else to have some sexy fun and games.

This kit is definitely an easy one to take care of. The two dildos are 100% silicone and so like any other of this type, they can be boiled, bleached or washed with warm water and soap and are even dishwasher safe. One thing to watch though is that silicone dildos (or at least the ones we own) are lint magnets. Since we've got a big, fluffy dog there are always little hairs all over the house so we've found that we had to keep the original packaging in order to keep the dust bunnies off the toys (although something like a satin bag would be a viable option too). So, although the harness is easy to fold up and hide out of the way, the dildos can be a little difficult to store. Also bear in mind that if you're using this between the sheets, it's likely to pick up bits of fluff and lint as you go along.

The dildos and straps are removable (again, thanks to the 'o' rings and four snap-shut clasps) so throwing the harness in the washing machine isn't too much of a problem should you want to clean it that way.

As with all silicone dildos, it's recommended that you only use water-based lubricants. We've found that Astroglide worked well but have also just purchased the Moist Anal Lube and that works wonderfully. I have read elsewhere that Tantus (allegedly) recommends silicone lube but haven't had that confirmed. Personally I'd stick with water based unless you're going to use a condom too.

Packaging for this kit is pretty nice. Granted, there's only really so much you can do with a harness and two dildos but Tamtus does it well enough. Our previous harness (the Doc Johnson one) came in a box that screamed 'sex shop'. The Bend Over kit comes in a clear plastic box that may not be as classy as say the Lelo toys but is nevertheless nicely done. In fact if it weren't for the fact that this is a strap-on kit, it's almost nice enough to open in front of your family on Christmas Day! It's definitely not discreet but it is not something that makes you cringe when you look at it. I think the word that sums it up is 'pleasant'. It includes info on what's inside the box (but since it's see-through, you already know what's there) and some info about Tantus. It's obvious that they care about their products and their customers (and no, I'm not affiliated).

When my hubby told me he'd ordered this, my initial thought was 'Oh, ok'. But when it arrived it actually looked nice and for me that's half the battle - you want to use something that you find aesthetically pleasing. Ours came with two rings that were the same size, so after contacting EF, we were referred to Tantus' very helpful Marketing Dept who sent us a replacement at no extra charge. It's the little things like that that mean a lot.

We bought this for pegging but have also tried it out with hubby using it on me with the larger of the two dildos. Obviously that was without the bullet inserted and navigating his 'bits' while putting the harness on wasn't the most graceful of acts but it still did the job. Unlike our previous harnesses, this one relies more on doing just what you want instead of trying to be all things to all people. Without wishing to knock Doc Johnson, we'd never go back to their harnesses after buying this. We feel we should also point out that with harnesses of this nature, strap-on sex isn't likely to be a spur-of-the-moment event. The very act of getting yourself 'harnessed up' can take a little work so our experience has been that it's better to plan beforehand rather than lose a moment during 'regular' sex.

Since buying this kit we've also picked up the silver Slim Jim which fits the smaller o-ring really well and works wonderfully. Just be ready to have a sense of humor since my hubby pointed out that it looks like he was about to be taken by Dumbo!