Under the bed restraint system - under bed strap kit discontinued by Sportsheets - review by Owl Identified

Sportsheets is not a company that has made its name by becoming the best in any one particular area. Unlike a company such as Tantus that has built an empire on a catalog of fantastic silicone dildos, or ASLAN who is known for fashioning the finest leather restraints and harness, Sportsheets is far from a specialized brand. Instead, they offer a wide range of products. You'll find most everything in their catalog from silicone dildos to vinyl harnesses to feather ticklers - all of decent quality and at a great price point. They are best known for providing buyers that are curious about such items an opportunity to experience them for a low cost - not for breaking the mold with wild new notions. And don't misunderstand me because this is an invaluable service since not all of us have a hundred dollars to drop when we want to have an orgasm!

Sportsheets fills a need in the market for basic and affordable toys and accessories and it does a fantastic job doing so. Of course, BDSM players with years and years of experience, or sex toy enthusiasts with massive collections of all the best that steel and silicone have to offer, these folks have no real use for such a brand's products. Right? They are hardly marketed toward someone like me with a chest full of all kinds of BDSM loot and toys. So something like the Under the Bed Restraint System doesn't require a second look on my part - I already have restraints! Well, no, not exactly.

My review included there are THIRTY reviews of this set on Edenfantasys - everyone from novices to some of EF's most knowledgeable bondage experts have taken a crack at this system. After trying this I'm frankly surprised there aren't MORE reviews - it's that damn useful. You see, Under the Bed is a set of simple adjustable nylon straps that hook into one another and are slipped under your mattress. Don't have bedposts to strap your lover to? Maybe you are like me and don't have the patience to whip out the ropes every time you want someone bound up? Or perhaps you're just no good at knots - and hey, who needs them anyway, what are we Boy Scouts?!

Under the Bed is comprised of five nylon straps, each measuring at 60" in length, that when in use created the shape of a capital letter H. When laid flat on a box spring under a mattress the "spinal strap" or the strap that connects the others will extend vertically from the foot of the bed up toward the pillow. At the foot of the bed, the connector strap terminates with a sliding plastic adjuster, followed by a metal D-ring. The D-ring attaches to the two ankle straps that extend outward on each side toward the edge of the box spring and are pulled up over the edges of the mattress. These are customizable with the plastic sliding adjuster that is located below the O-rings that terminate the end of the ankle straps.

At the opposing end of the connector, your wrist straps are identical in length, design and their adjuster components. These are pulled up over the edge of the mattress in the same way that the ankle straps are. One of the most amazing features of this set is that not only is it infinitely adjustable to suit nearly any bed from a single to a king size, but it is tremendously discreet. Because these straps are made from thin (but very sturdy!) nylon you can slip them right back between the mattress and box spring when you are done using them. As much as would love to have a gigantic sex swing hanging from my ceiling or dungeon-style chains hanging from my wall...my need for discretion overrides this lusty desire.

But the Bed Restraint System from Sportsheets allows me to have my cake and tie it up too! I typically fold the long straps over themselves so they can lie flat as opposed to rolling them up (this method creates lumps in the mattress!) The cuffs could easily be stored out of sight but in fact they are so thin that you could easily stick them underneath with the the nylon ties.

My partner and I really, really, really love this set; it has proven to be an essential part of play and has quickly earned its permanent place under the mattress. We're able to adjust them more or less depending on who is on the bed (my man has longer legs than I do so he needs less strap, whereas I need more) and it only takes a second, as opposed to a five minutes of untying and retying. Once they're tightly secured? You can struggle ALL you want and you're not going to have any luck escaping. We have locking wrist and ankle cuffs from ASLAN so even the most cunning of escape artists would have difficulty sneaking out of our set-up.

The only issue we really had with this set was regarding the cuffs. Each cuff is about 9.5" in length and roughly two inches across. They lock with Velcro closure straps, and each cuff can be adjusted to be anywhere from a tiny 2" in diameter to about 6.5" across. I say with the utmost confidence that these are going to fit just about anyone that picks them up, which is perhaps their strong point. Everything else after that is downhill, sadly. These restraints are made from thin, almost felt-like neoprene and are only about an eighth of an inch thick. Along with the stiff Velcro closures the cuffs have a very cheap and flimsy feel and for myself personally? Kind of kill the mood. Though the soft faux-velvet interior is smooth on wrists and ankles, any time you struggle against them you get this weird crinkly sound of the Velcro straining against itself.

So do they get the job done? Sure. But could you do a whole hell of a lot better? Absolutely. In a design move that totally escapes me, Sportsheets has hooked the O-ring (which is actually just one of those rings you put your keys on) onto the cuff itself, and a little clip snapped onto the O-ring attached from there to the straps. What this means is that if you choose to use different cuffs you will also have to get your own carabiners or clasps...unless you Macguyver the whole situation in the way that I did. You can carefully work the keychain ring off the cuffs and attack them to the straps. You are then free to use whatever cuffs you please!

Overall I'm very much in love with this set. It's not the most complex or fashionable thing in the world, but it really doesn't need to be. If you want some high quality cuffs then this isn't the best buy, but if you want an easy and quick to assemble framework for your partner to be bound to? Look no further.

The more time goes by, the more I realize some of my most beloved sex toys and BDSM gear are really tremendously simple - like, so simple you could probably make them on your own if you were handy. The Under The Bed Restraint System is one of those simple but ingenious pieces that you hate yourself for not thinking up on your own. In a world of gossipy, negative Nancies and Neds that love to hate you for your kinky sexcapades, something as easy to hide and whip out at a moment's notice is invaluable. Invaluable, but affordable. How often does that happen? Not often enough. I couldn't love this thing more.