Wahl 2-Speed massager kit by Wahl Clipper Corporation - review by softinvasion

Let me start off by saying The Wahl Therapeutic Massager is hands down the strongest vibrator you can get for your money. It is also highly underrated next to its cousin the Hitachi Magic Wand. This toy delivers a great back, leg and shoulder massage, but let's not be naive. Like most things in life, this apparatus is best when perverted.

The Wahl has two (strong) speeds, a long cord that looks be around 7-8' long, and 7 massage attachments. A white draw string bag is provided to keep them at hand. The knuckle joint attachment, the muscle kneading attachment, the general body attachment,the facial vitalizer, the scalp stimulator, the deep muscle stimulator, and the spot applicator. Of these attachments I've found the spot applicator to be most effective, shaped like a little nub, it pinpoints vibrations. The general body attachment and the facial vitalizer are flatter attachments that can also be interesting due to the unique feeling of their vibrating edges. For awhile these provided the most fun sensations for me, but when I used either of these attachments with a dildo (which is tricky, the Wahl is heavy one-handed) I found myself getting quiet uncoordinated and painfully pinching some delicate areas between the dildo and the edge of the attachments. highly uncomfortable, so I switched back to the spot attachment and I believe that's where I'll stay.

To reiterate what countless reviewers have said before me (because they are RIGHT, and so right that I have no shame in admitting to blatantly plagiarizing them) the low and high settings on the Wahl could not be more different. They are two different sensations altogether. The low being a standard hitachi-like vibration, and the high setting being a deep, undulating, massage-y vibration.

That's not to say the 'low' is a piddly worthless vibe, however. It's powerful! Oftentimes it's all I need, with my clothes ON no less. But 'high' is a revelation. It is deep, y'all. Deeper than Donnie Darko or even like, Narnia. I'm talking clitoral Legs deep. I mean, how often do you Actually Feel your clitoral legs? It's almost as if something is grabbing my insides and violently, sensually shaking them (and that sounds awful but it's mad fun). In short, the moral of this pleasure-rant is that if you've been reading about Wahls you know there are 3 keywords to describe this toy on 'high': DEEP. PENETRATING. RUMBLY. And truer descriptions have never been uttered. Moving On...

The sound level of this tool is amazingly quiet. On the lower setting, it cannot be heard through a door, especially if used under some covers. The pitch of the vibrations is low and hummy, and doesn't sound much like a vibrator at all. The higher setting is a generous step louder, but is still a low rumble. If the attachments are too loose or tight, however, they can vibrate against the toy resulting in one of the LOUDEST, MOST OBNOXIOUS noises ever emitted from a mechanical device. So be careful if your working stealth.

One under-emphasized aspect of this toy is that after prolonged use it can get really hot. Like scorching hot, at the top of the device. Luckily, the handle does not reach such blistering temperatures, but it can be a little jarring if you accidentally touch it to your thigh. It can also be somewhat thrilling! Just a note.