Oh Wahl, I Wanted to Fall in With Love You

I tried like hell to fall hopefully in love with the Wahl like so many before me. You see, I have a horrible time orgasming from clitoral stimulation only and I was hoping that something this strong would be magical. I was hoping that once I went Wahl I would then be blissfuly opened up to the world of clitoral vibrators and would save my pennies for a Hitachi and the three of us would play in fields of flowers while I rode the waves of continuous orgasms well past the pink clouds of sunset.
Yeah, there's a better chance that we'll have world peace and a pet unicorn in every home by next year.

Alas, that does not make the Wahl horrible. I mean I enjoy digging it out for a bit of extra fun every now and again. I either use it to work myself up a bit or combined with penetration. You can easily operate it one-handed. And it does work wonders when I use it for its intended use, relieving those horribly sore muscles, caused, no doubt, by my lack of clitoral orgasms.

The handheld part is a hard plastic and the attachments are different types of plastic materials, some are softer than others.

The attachments come in a wide variety of textures ranging from "there's no way that's going anywhere near the most sensitive parts of my body" to really smooth. The textured pieces definitely add a lot of stimulation but there should be something for everyone in that mix.

No one out there likes the design of the Wahl. Well, maybe a few people like it but not many. The color is unattractive and the toy itself is rather unsexy. This total unsexiness makes this the ideal toy for someone trying to hide the fact that they own a sex toy. You could leave this one out and people might giggle a bit if they're a bit dirty-minded but it isn't phallic or obviously meant for sexual purposes. This also makes it great for travel.

However, the shape of the attachments have enough variety that there should be something for everyone in there. They range from pinpoint stimulation to ridges to a suction cuplike attachment.

It fits nicely in your hand and although it is on the heavier side it isn't so much that you should typically find your hand ready for fall off from holding it.

The Wahl plugs into the wall, which is pretty awesome. You never need to worry about your batteries dying or the charge running out. It also is super-easy to use, there's a switch that you slide up and down to change the speed and turn it on. It has two speeds, "damn that's intense" and "hey look, I'm on the ceiling now". You can hold the Wahl against your favorite dildo and feel the vibrations pretty well, they're that strong. Ceilings are pretty great places to be so that one is my favorite. Yeah, I don't even have a clit of steel, this thing is a diamond. Refrain from putting this in water, it plugs into the wall. It's like putting your hair dryer in the tub with you, a big no no. As for the noise level, it's not bad at all. You can use this in your home or dorm with little worry, it doesn't sound like the power tool it appears to look like. I mean if your roommate is in your room that probably isn't the ideal situation but if they've headed to class then go ahead and dig this one out. Just remember, it's a massager, I was just taking care of my sore neck. Sure you can use it, let me just go wash it off...

Now let's move onto the attachments. The "scalp massager", the frightening looking one with all of the bumps, probably is not suitable for very many clits. It's the only one that I did not try anywhere near there. I didn't massage my scalp with it either because it sort of weirds me out a bit. I did, however, try the rest of them out. The knuckle massager, that triangular piece, provides some flat surface area if that's your preference. I did massage my knuckles with it and it felt pretty good. I type a lot. I write papers, I type for work, and I write sex toy reviews, and I spent the 10 other seconds of free time per week on the Internet, screwing around. I might actually massage my knuckles more often; I had never thought to do it before. The facial massager is the one that has a decent flat area but then goes in towards the massager at the top. It sort of works wonders if you want vibrations all around your clit but never actually touching it either because it's super-sensitive or you enjoy teasing the living crap out of yourself just that much. I tried it for its intended purpose too. It felt really funny. The muscle one is the ridges one. I enjoy it on occasion but not always. I do enjoy it for my actual muscles though. The deep muscle one has the circle thingy on it, that one is wonderful if you like pinpoint stimulation. There's that weird one with vents, yeah I'm not a fan of it and I'm not sure what it does other that bug me. Now, onto my favorite, the one that sort of looks like the facial massager but looks more like a suction cup. This one also delivers some teasing but the vibrations are way more intense and I absolutely love it and rarely use any of the other pieces because it's that amazing. Seriously.

This is pretty easy to care for, I store it and the attachments in a bag together. The attachments actually come in their own baggie but I lost that particular one. You might need to wipe the massager down once in awhile, wipes or toy cleaner should work just fine. As for the attachements, I just use soap and water to clean them. It's pretty easy and low maintenance. (Resist the urge to add a "your mom" joke in there like a 12 year old boy.)

Despite my inability to orgasm solely from this toy I am not going to knock it down any stars. It does exactly what it is supposed to do and then some. It's awesome and is not to blame for my diamond clit. And I'll continue trying to reach that magical clitoral orgasm land and you'll be some of the first people to know if I get there.