Something For Your Rabbit Hole

Being as I am a huge Alice in Wonderland fan once I saw these toys get added to Eden I had to grab at least one of them! I decided to start with the Pleasurepillar because he seemed the most functional, I thought the shape of the head would be great for g-spotting or clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It could not be safely used anally because although it does have the bumps part way down the shaft I wouldn't trust them to stop it from getting sucked into your bum to never return. Since it is so small it could easily travel with you in a small carry pouch, it is also waterproof so it can join you in the shower or tub.

The Pleasurepillar is made of some of the most luxurious silicone I have ever felt, which is especially impressive on such a low priced toy. It is buttery smooth with almost no drag, the only disappointing part is that it features a rather prominent seam along the length of the toy. Although it cannot be felt during use, since I mostly just bought this as a novelty/collectors item it was a bit upsetting to see. There is very little texture to the shape of the Pleasurepillar except for three bumps in increasing size along the shaft, but I rarely noticed them because the toy is so small and it is mostly used as a clitoral stimulator anyway.

Like any other silicone product, the Pleasurepillar is non-porous and easily sanitized with a 10% bleach solution. It is also a little flexible in the neck but mostly firm and not easily squished. I did not notice a taste to the toy but it does have a bit of a habit of retaining the scent of whatever I wash it with. The battery cap and control base are made of plastic which has a slightly lower safety rating but since this part is not inserted it should not be a concern.

The Pleasurepillar is based on the hookah smoking caterpillar in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carol.



As you can see they matched the g-spot stimulator to the small hook on the top of the caterpillar's head (which looks a bit too much like a g-spot toy by itself for my liking, I don't know how I never noticed that). Below that are three bumps representing the sections of the caterpillar's body. The measurements are as follows:




So as you can see it is a pretty small toy and personally I find it works best as a clitoral stimulator rather than a g-spot toy. While it is not overtly phallic I still wouldn't call it discrete, it wouldn't take anyone too long to figure out what it is or what it's used for.

This is where my Pleasurepillar let me down and why it will simply be a collectable instead of a treasured orgasm machine. It features 10 functions all controlled by one button on the base of the toy, one push to turn it on, one push to cycle through functions, and push and hold for 2-3 seconds to turn it off instantly. It does have a memory chip in it and can remember what function it was on when it was turned off, unfortunately instead of returning to that function when it turns on, it turns on at the next function which seems somewhat odd to me. When the toy is on a small ring around the button illuminates and during the patterns it flashes to the beat of the vibrations.




There are ten functions, the first three are High, Medium, and Low, in that order. This seems like a bit of an odd progression because I, like many other users I assume, like to start low and work my way up to high and this makes it difficult if not impossible to do that. Following that are seven different vibration functions, typically I would list them but to be honest they all feel a little too similar to me to be able to list, they're all different speeds/types of pulsations.

The vibrations themselves are extremely buzzy, and not very loud, although it is high pitched. I don't feel that it could be heard through a door and only through a blanket if someone was looking for it. While reviewing I have my television playing an episode of Battlestar Galactica at a moderate volume and I could barely hear the toy at arms length on high. While I prefer rumbly vibrations I'm not usually opposed to buzzy vibrations, they often feel stronger to me, but this was way over the top buzzy, I couldn't bear it. I would say it is considerably buzzier than even a cell phone's vibrations. The vibrations can be felt throughout the entire toy, including wherever you hold it, and it almost instantly makes my fingers itchy.

The Pleasurepillar is powered by one AA battery, and it is surprisingly powerful considering this. The battery compartment is protected by a rubber O-ring making it waterproof.

Silicone is very easy to care for, it must be washed before and after use, paying particular attention to the grooves in between the bumps, gunk loves to get in there. The packaging works wonderfully as a storage container or you could also slip it into a small storage bag. Even though the silicone is divinely smooth if you chose to add a lubricant to your play it would be best to use only water based lubricant, the chemicals in silicone lubricant would destroy the satiny finish, and frankly that might just make me cry.

The packaging for this toy is beautiful, based on the design of a fairy tale book. The exterior sleeve shows an image of the product and lists some features on the back. The interior is purely decorative made of hard plastic with a magnetic fastener to the lid.

While I love Alice in Wonderland, and loved even more the idea of a line of pleasure products based on the stories, I was disappointed by the Pleasurepillar; and although I will probably eventually complete my collection I am in no rush to do so and probably won't use any of the others. The design was adorable and the silicone was delectable, but the vibrations were far to buzzy and just plain uncomfortable for my liking.