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'Fun'damentals of BDSM

'Fun'damentals of BDSM
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Topping and Domming, submitting and bottoming. All four terms are closely related in the BDSM world, but what on earth do they all mean, and what exactly is the difference? What is a Top? What is a Dominant? And what are sub- and Dom-space?

  "Space" and What it Means

Ever heard of "sub-space" or "Dom-space"? Usually, sub-space is more frequently talked about, but Dom-space does also exist (I've only experienced it two or three times personally). A "space" is also known as a "headspace," a place where the mind goes during play or some other action. My most recent slave went into sub-space a few times with me, once when she was laying at my feet and the other during a fear-oriented play session. It's clear that sub- or Dom-space can truly happen at any time, either expectantly or unexpectedly.

Sub-space has been described to me as a "floaty" feeling. The body feels very light, and the mind starts to drift off into almost a sweet slumber. It's as if the person experiencing it is being taken away on a cloud. For some, their sub-space is just a state of relaxation; for others, it could be the feeling of needing to be at their Top or Dominant's feet. When I've experienced Dom-space, it was actually very opposite from what bottoms have described to me as sub-space. It's more of an adrenaline rush and a feeling of increased intensity rather than calm. For me, it's very primal.

The most confusing part about sub- and Dom-space is that people experience it during play with people who are not their s- or D-types. So how does a person enter that sort of headspace with a person who isn't really their partner in D/s (Dominant/submissive relationship)? Well, the scientific explanation for sub-space (and the reason why Dom-space is not as often talked about) is that it is a combination of a build-up of nerves being stimulated repeatedly so that the body becomes soothed and calmed. Essentially, sub-space is an endorphin rush.

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