Online Dating After Divorce: To Sex or Not to Sex

People told me having sex for the first time after divorce would be hard to do. It would be awkward, it would be forced, it would feel foreign and while they were right, they were also so, so wrong.

Ms. Mhari's Hotel Theory of Poly

A brief visualization of non-monogamous relationships, from a happily non-monogamous married woman.

The Married Mom’s Guide to Toy Hiding

Running out of places to hide your toys? You children, roommate, or pet find them no matter where you put them? Don't fret! Here is a list of possible places to hide your precious toys.

Fan Fiction: As Good as Porn?

While fan fiction is widely accepted as being something that only geeks do, writing themselves into elaborate sci-fi scenarios, or something that twelve year old girls write (badly) about their favorite male characters kissing, some people would rank it above live action porn as far as masturbation material goes. Why?

The Cuddle-Sutra: 7 Common Sleeping Styles

Have a partner who takes up all the bed space? Or steals all the blankets? What about whacking you (by accident) in your sleep? Here are 7 common sleeping styles you or your partner may have and how to handle them.

Five Common, Strange Facts About Women & The Truth

A list of "Weird, Funny Facts About Women." The same exact ones that keep showing up around the internet. It's been featured on sites like India Times and others. Despite the list's attempts at humor, I felt compelled to add more womanly experience to these common factoids.

Road Head!

A lighthearted guide to how not to do something you should never contemplate doing.

Penis Appreciation Day

Our taxes are filed and spring is in the air. Let's make today a special day - for everyone.

The Nice Girl's Guide To The One Night Stand - Part One: The Pick-up

There’s a lot of literature out there telling guys how to pick up girls. In the first half of a two-part article, we talk about what the girl needs to do to while he’s actually doing the picking.

How Gidget's Lesson Is A Thing Of the Past

For me, independence isn't something I ever thought about. It was a natural consequence of being surrounded by independent women, who taught me the importance of doing things oneself and to take pride in being able to take care of myself.

Sex and Babies: Can the two co-exist?

Oh. My. God. Right there, that's the spot, keep going, keep going...oh god, I'm going to - OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM, E-I-E-I-O

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Bored with your toy collection and tired of seeing the same designs again and again? If you think you’ve tried every kind of toy available, you may be surprised to learn there is a whole niche of truly wild sex toys out on the market available for anyone who dares to take a wild leap into some truly amazing experimentation.

What His Condom Choice Says About Him

More accurate than a horoscope, more judgmental than US Magazine, and more wrapped in rubber than a set of rubber band balls, this is an easy to access guide to what you can learn about a partner when they pull a condom out.

Healing through Masturbation

Life is full of ironies. This is how to have better sex with others by having sex with yourself.

A Gentlemen Always Lets The Lady Cum First.

Call it common courtesy. Call it being a gentlemen. Call it whatever you like. If you're allowing your lady to cum first, you, my friend, are a prime example of the refined, exquisite gentlemen of sex etiquette. Alas, many men out there refuse their lady this fine privilege. Hell, some don't even know if their partner has cum. This, my readers, can not go on any longer. Not in the year 2013!!! We outlived the Mayans for Christ sakes! Surely this too shall pass. I hope...

The Fine Line Between "Wanna F@ck?" and "F@CK ME!!!"

I make it no secret that I have had many sexual encounters in my lifetime. Some of them were more memorable then others. This is largely due to the things that were said during coitus. I wish I could tell you that it was all hot, sexy and really got my motor running, but alas, I can not. Nine times out of ten it was pure rubbish. I'm here to tell you now that talking dirty is an art form.

The Toy War

Regan and I were up late, when he asked the question. I never though that my answer would begin this...

SexIs Subjective: Stockings For The Naughty List, A Lump Of Coal Or...

You do not want to be on the naughty list at Christmas...or do you? This can be a good time of year for:
~Lovely, sensual surprises!
~A fun, sexy and practical way to introduce a few toys to your partner!
~Starting a new tradition!

The story of my first vibrator or why I shop online

A little funny and a little embarrassing story of the first piece of my toy collection.

America Should Vouch for Gay Marriage.

Gay marriage won't be legal in all 50 states until 2024 at the earliest. What if there was a way for gay people to get married in any state, while keeping it convoluted and maintaining gays as second class citizens? That's what marriage vouchers can do!

Holiday Connection - Half of Them Come in Camouflage, Anyway

An interesting swing on how no sex can bring a couple closer together.

Alien Fuck Fantasies

Some fantasies are based in reality but others, like having sex with aliens, aren't based in reality at all. I decided that I wanted to bring up some possible problems with the concept of having sex with an alien life form.

SexIs Subjective: My Sister-In-Law wants to give my Mother a vibrator.

My sister-in-law wants to give my mother a vibrator. I don't think this is a good idea. I swear her doctor's got her on goofballs.

How crabs saved my life. Well...sort of.

The best thing about being young and sexually active is that sooner or later you might just stumble across an STD or two. If you're lucky, you may escape some of the very major ones we all know are out there, so please play it safe. With that said, even if you do get an STD, sometimes, and very rarely now...they can help fix the path you're on.

How to have safe (and yes enjoyable) anal sex.

This isn't your average "Go after it!!!" mission my friend. If you're going to explore places unknown, then both of you need to be informed. Otherwise it could be messy. No pun intended.

Merry Freaking Christmas! An Irreverent Guide to All Your Holiday Problems

Holiday stress got you down? Here are six easy solutions to your yuletide woes.

Some of the best places and ways to hide your sex toys

If you have a surplus of toys, this can mean one thing for sure. You may have few places to hide them. Never fear, I'm here to help any way I can.

Why Most Men Are Afraid of Sex Toys.

Even in today’s day and age, most men still shy away from sex toys. They see them as a threat to their manhood, or even worse, a replacement for their god given penis. I'm here to tell all men to shut the funk up! Sex toys are not a dangerous thing that will destroy your relationship with your partner. Sex toys will enhance your love life tenfold. As long as you learn to stop worrying and fall in love with the joy that is a sex toy filled love life.

SexIs subjective: Toy presents??

Are they accepted? or not...

Idea for the porn industry thanks to Prop B

Laws can be a benefit. But sometimes they are just stupid and at those times I don't mind suggesting ways to exploit them, as long as you take the time to check on things to make sure it will work first.

The Shaky Bridge Experiment and How It Relates to Your Life

If you've ever wondered "What did I ever see in him/her?" this might be the answer.

Don't Get Into A Fight With A Penis Pump...

We have all had that moment, the deal breaker... but what do you do when the moment lingers? Well, just ask me. I seem to have, well, weird luck. Not good luck or bad luck; just weird luck. So, how does a penis pump enter into this? Keep on reading...

Someone Stole My Vibrator And It Wasn't The Dog

Teenagers are horrible. I have two that I'd like to exchange, but they are extremely expensive and in this economy, I haven't had any takers - especially for the badly behaved ones. I know that teens go through a roller coaster of emotions, but I want mine to be able to come and talk to me about their sexuality, not just take money from my purse.

I want you in the worst kind of way.

At some point in everyone’s life, they have decided to try something new in the bedroom. These stories prove that some people should just stick to missionary.

When the Vibe Went Missing

A tale of woe from the Emergency Department Nurse's perspective.

Romney vs. Obama vs. Your Uterus

You've considered your political candidates' views on taxes, deficit, and their four year plans. Have you considered their views on your reproductive rights? Here is the skinny!

You were jealous!

My boyfriend thought I was obsessed with a sex site until he saw the benefits that EdenFantasys brought into our bedroom. I had to reel him in with lingerie before I introduced a sex toy. The toy of my dreams became his nightmare. At first, he liked it, but then he decided that I was addicted to it! It was a shock to me that not all men enjoy the idea of having an extra tool in the bedroom.

Sex After Having Kids

Well if you’re anything like me you start to forget what sex is. I have two kids under 5 and I use these steps to make it easier for me to get to have sex.

Sex Feed: Virginity for Sale

And the winner is...

Sex Feed: Bars and sex

New female masturbation bar; a bar that sexualized Remembrance Day; Bar Refaeli wants to make a sex tape

Sex Feed: Former pageant princess who appeared on Wife Swap arrested

It’s her third time dealing with the law, but the first time she’s arrested.

Friendship is Magic, or This Brony thing, is a sex thing isn't it?

I make custom BDSM, toys for a living, and My Little Pony ones are some of my highest requested items, True Story. I, like most people, assumed the whole Brony Culture was a sex thing, and my experiences pretty much prove me right. However, I've been on this whole internet deal a long time now so I know, maybe I'm just seeing the worst side of things, as is known to happen. Follow me on a journey as I discover how to be a Brony.

Advice you should NOT take from your mother!

When it comes to dating, many people take their parent's advice into consideration. I was not one of them, because my mother's advice was horrible.

Sexbot and Robots, or Coin-Operated Hookers.

I was recently asked (or the question was referred to me) if I thought sex robots were a thing I would see in my life time. I replied simply, "I already have." Granted these are not the robot nymphomaniacs of current movie magic, more like the clunky things you might expect, but they are getting better. However what does that mean, for humanity, and are these for men only? How close to the cool ones? These answers will surprise you.

@%#*ing Zombies, or Stress Relief in the Zombie Apocalypse.

It seems like these days more people have more Zombie Survival plans than they have pairs of socks. I fully support this activity but everyone always seems to forget something really important, sex during the end times.

20 Fun Sex Facts

We all enjoy sex but it's always nice to hear the fun facts about it.

50 Shades of Singapore

Recently Singapore banned Fifty Shades of Grey from their libraries, which started up sort of an amazing collection of erotica as if censored by the government. It was awesome and I have to share:

A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl: When worlds collide

The lighting is set, the camera is ready to go live. You are dressed and everything is ready to go...And then your child wakes from a nightmare and is crying for you.

What's In A Name?

You are what you eat - reclaiming the word "cocksucker" for the people who really deserve it.

Sexy to the Undead

As odd as this concept might be. I have actually seen some sexy looking zombies. One was in Return Of The Living Dead. This one girl with a punk hair coloring job got turned into a zombie and in one scene is walking fast through some fog and then attacks a homeless guy.

Did I mention she is pretty much naked?

Free the Boobies: The Joys of Going Braless

I have no problem with bras, but sometimes it just feels good to get it off.

A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl: The Unveiling

So you want to know what a successful cam girl looks like? You wanna see just what I am made of? This is the line of questioning I have been getting lately, So, Why not. Ok then, Lets get down to the glitter and glam of... ME.

In Praise of Uncut Cocks

One girl, one fetish, and her quest for enlightenment. Am I alone in my love of uncircumcised penises?

A Peak Behind the Female Dominated Future or, My Time as a Man in the Eden Forums.

For the first time in recorded history, women out number men. Roughly about 51 to 49 percent. Current trends suggest this number will actually continue to grow over time expecting to reach about 60/40 in 2060. As an amateur sociologist I'm curious to study the land scape of the future and the Eden Forums seem to have let me do that. These are my journeys.

A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl: Sex Sells

If you have read my other articles, you got the details in a perky, upbeat, sometimes sarcastic way. Tonight, it is coming from the other side of me, the depressed single mother that feels like things will never change. This will prove that being a cam girl, or a mom, is not all glam and glitter.

50 Shades of a Cam Whore in love with a Vampire?!?!?

Warning : This is more of a rant opposed to a stimulating article!

A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl : It's all in the Attitude.

Whether we are talking about Mothers, Cam Whores, or sexual fetishes; it all comes down to attitude. And as much as people believe, attitude is everything. I am here to tell you, you are full of shit. Attitude means nothing if you can't back it up with the rest of you.

A Day in the Life of a Cam Girl: Mood Based Pricing

How can I tell you who I am in the cam world, if you don't know who I am for real. I want to show you everything involved in being a Cam Girl. And by everything, I mean who I am, what I do, and who (and what) I deal with. So from now on, I am going to be doing 3 part articles. I hope you enjoy!

Kid games for adult purposes

There are plenty of games generally played by kids that have been adapted to adult games. I discuss a few games like this, give one I started using and wonder what would have to be done to others to make them work as adult only games.

A Paranoid Geek's Guide to Sneaky Sex Toy Ordering

Do you secretly lust after sex toys, but fear ordering any lest your parents discover your secret and kick you out of their basement to fend for yourself in the cruel, cruel world? Fear not, for there are plenty of clever ways to sneak sex toys into your geek cave and hide them once they've arrived. Read on.

I'm Not Fat! I'm P.H.A.T! (Pancreas Hurts All the Time!)

People come up with all sorts of slogans to make themselves feel accepted within our chaotic society. Does any of this have any negative effects on a bed-ridden 24-year old woman? Hell no it doesn't!

Makeup-Breakup-Repeat: Facebook Style

We all know at least one couple that sticks to the pattern of breaking up, making up, and repeating. Heck, I’ve even had a relationship (or two) in the past that followed this pattern. It was pretty ridiculous and pointless. Now that we’ve got social media websites like Facebook, it seems that these couples are making their personal dramas public for all to see. Seriously, I’m like, “what the eff?”

You're Into WHAT?!

Foot fetishes, golden showers, rimming, pony play, slave and master, role playing, faeces play, whipping, spanking, pegging, needle play, asphyxiation, and oh so much more! You don't have to practice or even like the idea of these activities but many people thoroughly enjoy them. Just because they may seem different doesn't make them wrong.

A day in the life of a Cam Girl: Welcome to my world!

Hello, My name is Lillie. How can I serve your credit card today?

Domestic Discipline vs. Spanking Fetish: One for each Cheek

"Do you need a spanking, young lady?" he would ask me in a firm warning tone. "No sir." Yes.

Four Historical Figures Worthy of a Modern Day Sex Scandal

What do Benjamin Franklin, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Elvis Presley and Albert Enstien have in common? They all had their own less than conventional sexual preferences and you won't find it in most history books.

Are Rape Jokes Ever Funny?

Comedian Daniel Tosh us under fire for joking that a heckler should be gang-raped. Now that rape jokes are in the spot-light, perhaps it’s time to ask if they’re ever something to laugh about.

Top Ten Things We Don’t Need

A friend of mine sent me a picture of a piano she saw and I was all “Nice piano,” until I looked a little closer and realized it was a VAGINA PIANO.

If Star Wars was remade, ala 50 Shades of Grey

Yesterday, I was watching Star Wars for the 8,000th time and I realized that with a little creative trimming and some strong imagination, Star Wars could make some pretty great erotica. Better than 50 Shades of Grey, at least.

Porn Typos

It’s important to use proper grammar and punctuation even in pornography. I’ve created some examples to show you why:

The Bloggess takes on Cosmo. Everyone loses.

Sometimes when I can’t think of a good topic to write about for my sex column I just turn to Cosmo, the holy grail of sex talk. I choose a headline at random and I try to write the article based on my personal knowledge without peeking at the answers.

Things That Make People Feel Sexy

This month the writers of SexIs are focusing on the things that make people feel ready for sex. I decided to just focus on the difference between men and women using a purely stereotypical but strangely realistic algorithm ... made up entirely by me.

3rd Anniversary: Mind and Body

In honor of our third anniversary, we thought we’d dredge up some of our awesome past. We’ve got so many posts in our archive that meant so much to us – and we hope to you! – and shouldn’t be forgotten. So over the next couple weeks, we’ll be sharing some excerpts with you.

Totally (In)Appropriate Valentines for Your Valentine

In order to prepare for Valentine’s The Bloggess shares with us some of the worst and most awesome cards you can give out. Feel free to print and use on people you’d like to never see again or who have very good senses of humor.

For the love of God. Let my vagina sleep.

A Boob By Any Other Name...

Occasionally twitter writes my posts for me. Today was one of those days.

It’s Like A Christmas Story. But With Vaginas.

You know when you get a popsicle right out of the freezer and it’s so cold that it sticks to your lip and you panic for a second because it’s so stuck to your mouth that you’re afraid it’s going to rip the skin off?

Cosmetic Vagina Surgery. What the Fuck, Y’all?

A friend of mine emailed me a link to an article discussing vagina cosmetic surgery. And by “friend” I mean “someone who wants me to forever be self-conscious of my lady garden.”

Honestly, I’m surprised *more* people don’t try to distance themselves from me.