The Pick Up Techniques No Woman Can Resist!
A man walks up to the registers at his local bookstore, clutching a “how to” guide about picking up girls.
“Let me know how that goes for you,” says the gorgeous, buxom blonde as she swipes his credit card.
“Why, are you interested?” asks the man, beaming happily.
“No,” she replies. “But if it works for you, then it’ll work for anyone.”
This is not, so far as I know, a true story. However, it does cross my mind every time I’m browsing, online or in a store, and come across yet another in that long, long line of titles dedicated to teaching a guy to score... to get lucky... to have a great sex life with an endless succession of stunning sexy sirens.
I’m just guessing here, and I hope I don’t offend anyone... But seriously, if you’re so desperate to meet someone that you’ll put out hard cash for the same book that probably every other desperate-to-meet-someone soul out there is also buying, then surely the trick would be to not buy the book, and come up with an original approach of your own, right? And, if you need further proof of that, consider this... There are a lot of books out there telling guys how to pick up girls; there's not so many, however, that tell a girl how to get picked up.
No, I’m not talking about the “hook a hunk in three easy steps” guides that Certain Women's Magazines like to recycle. I'm also not talking about the ones that take the aforementioned “how to” guides and just jumble up the genders. I'm not even talking about the ever-popular “How To Have Men Writhing At Your Feet Without Actually Doing Anything" titles, which might as well come with a red light on the front cover -- or a taser. I mean a straightforward guide for how to get picked up... okay, here’s an example.
A few days ago, a male workmate and I went to lunch together. We went to a not-too-crowded sandwich bar, with two cups on the table, and two plates with crumbs. He excused himself to go powder his nose, or whatever it is that men do when they leave the table mid-conversation, and the next guy through the front door was virtually signaling to the waitress to come and take his order, dropping his coat down on the just-vacated chair, before he asked me if anyone was sitting there.
I nodded to my companion's half-full coffee cup and murmured something I’m not too proud of, and he was away, because he’d already spotted another single female diner (and she was cuter than I am. Grr). When my workmate came back and I told him what had happened, he just laughed. “Don’t worry. I’d have moved,” he told me. This just goes to show you that not only do they read the same books, but they also have a shared sense of propriety, as well.
Now, I will just point out that I was not looking to be picked up that lunchtime. My break had only a few more minutes to go, and if I’m going to be entranced by a total stranger, I’d like it to last a little longer than that. However, if I had been looking for this... in a sandwich bar, at a bus stop, in the library, in the supermarket... what would have been the right thing to do?
I’m glad I asked.
The Art of Getting Picked Up is not an easy one to master. The tale above proves that it can happen at any place, and it’s impossible to be prepared for every occasion. That's not to mention that it's a little presumptuous. There are some places where the most alluring woman in the world probably wouldn’t expect to be zeroed in upon, and I think we can all name a few of them from experience. My worst was the hospital ED. I had a suspected broken wrist, and my would-be suitor had... eww, I really don’t want to know.
Still, a few basic ground rules might not cover every eventuality, but they do allow for a degree of stage-management, and that is the key to every situation. The first rule of that is, stay cool. Returning to the theme of desperation, the only thing I can think of that is more off-putting than the over-zealous hunter is the over-eager prey. It doesn’t matter how many of your personal boxes this prospective Lothario has already checked, as the crucial point is to ensure that he keeps on checking them.
The moment you show more than a passing, vague interest in anything he says or does is the moment he moves to the next stage of his master plan, suggesting that you go outside for some fresh air. And that's probably with one hand already on your ass.
How cool should you be? A friend of mine has been playing hard to get with a motorbike messenger boy for the last three weeks, and we all know she wants nothing more than to get her legs wrapped around his saddlebags. However, the most seductive thing she’s said to him so far was “nice frames” when she noticed his glasses for the first time. She's said nothing about his leathers, his bike, and nothing about his delightfully large package (the one that he was delivering to her office). However, he hasn’t lost an iota of the interest he showed the first time he saw her, and she is dead set on keeping things that way.
“Let me know how that goes for you,” says the gorgeous, buxom blonde as she swipes his credit card.
“Why, are you interested?” asks the man, beaming happily.
“No,” she replies. “But if it works for you, then it’ll work for anyone.”
This is not, so far as I know, a true story. However, it does cross my mind every time I’m browsing, online or in a store, and come across yet another in that long, long line of titles dedicated to teaching a guy to score... to get lucky... to have a great sex life with an endless succession of stunning sexy sirens.
I’m just guessing here, and I hope I don’t offend anyone... But seriously, if you’re so desperate to meet someone that you’ll put out hard cash for the same book that probably every other desperate-to-meet-someone soul out there is also buying, then surely the trick would be to not buy the book, and come up with an original approach of your own, right? And, if you need further proof of that, consider this... There are a lot of books out there telling guys how to pick up girls; there's not so many, however, that tell a girl how to get picked up.
No, I’m not talking about the “hook a hunk in three easy steps” guides that Certain Women's Magazines like to recycle. I'm also not talking about the ones that take the aforementioned “how to” guides and just jumble up the genders. I'm not even talking about the ever-popular “How To Have Men Writhing At Your Feet Without Actually Doing Anything" titles, which might as well come with a red light on the front cover -- or a taser. I mean a straightforward guide for how to get picked up... okay, here’s an example.
A few days ago, a male workmate and I went to lunch together. We went to a not-too-crowded sandwich bar, with two cups on the table, and two plates with crumbs. He excused himself to go powder his nose, or whatever it is that men do when they leave the table mid-conversation, and the next guy through the front door was virtually signaling to the waitress to come and take his order, dropping his coat down on the just-vacated chair, before he asked me if anyone was sitting there.
I nodded to my companion's half-full coffee cup and murmured something I’m not too proud of, and he was away, because he’d already spotted another single female diner (and she was cuter than I am. Grr). When my workmate came back and I told him what had happened, he just laughed. “Don’t worry. I’d have moved,” he told me. This just goes to show you that not only do they read the same books, but they also have a shared sense of propriety, as well.
Now, I will just point out that I was not looking to be picked up that lunchtime. My break had only a few more minutes to go, and if I’m going to be entranced by a total stranger, I’d like it to last a little longer than that. However, if I had been looking for this... in a sandwich bar, at a bus stop, in the library, in the supermarket... what would have been the right thing to do?
I’m glad I asked.
The Art of Getting Picked Up is not an easy one to master. The tale above proves that it can happen at any place, and it’s impossible to be prepared for every occasion. That's not to mention that it's a little presumptuous. There are some places where the most alluring woman in the world probably wouldn’t expect to be zeroed in upon, and I think we can all name a few of them from experience. My worst was the hospital ED. I had a suspected broken wrist, and my would-be suitor had... eww, I really don’t want to know.
Still, a few basic ground rules might not cover every eventuality, but they do allow for a degree of stage-management, and that is the key to every situation. The first rule of that is, stay cool. Returning to the theme of desperation, the only thing I can think of that is more off-putting than the over-zealous hunter is the over-eager prey. It doesn’t matter how many of your personal boxes this prospective Lothario has already checked, as the crucial point is to ensure that he keeps on checking them.
The moment you show more than a passing, vague interest in anything he says or does is the moment he moves to the next stage of his master plan, suggesting that you go outside for some fresh air. And that's probably with one hand already on your ass.
How cool should you be? A friend of mine has been playing hard to get with a motorbike messenger boy for the last three weeks, and we all know she wants nothing more than to get her legs wrapped around his saddlebags. However, the most seductive thing she’s said to him so far was “nice frames” when she noticed his glasses for the first time. She's said nothing about his leathers, his bike, and nothing about his delightfully large package (the one that he was delivering to her office). However, he hasn’t lost an iota of the interest he showed the first time he saw her, and she is dead set on keeping things that way.
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