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The Cuddle-Sutra: 7 Common Sleeping Styles
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Have a partner who takes up all the bed space? Or steals all the blankets? What about whacking you (by accident) in your sleep? Here are 7 common sleeping styles you or your partner may have and how to handle them.

  The “Koala”

Your sweetheart wants to show you undying love. All. The. Time. Sleep will not keep the Koala from showing his or her love for you. The Koala wants to be as close to their partner as possible. While flattering, it can cause a bit of strain on your neck and lungs. You are also more likely to get numb limbs from the weight of your Koala. Getting away may or may not be successful. Bed space is limited and you can only move away so much.

What to do with a Koala? Having a dedicated snuggle time before breaking for sleep can get the Koala’s urges out of their system before sleep (or at least lessen it). If that doesn’t work, you can give your lovely Koala a substitute for their earth defying snuggles. While not as good as you, a stuffed animal or body pillow can be a good substitute for those wee hours. For those who don’t mind being snuggled and want to relieve tired limbs can let their partner snuggle them with a body pillow between them.

  The “Small-Fry”

The Small Fry may be physically small or just really considerate. This snuggle partner is likely to shrink into a ball when entering dream land. If you and your partner have different bed times, the Small-Fry tends to be the one who goes to sleep first. This is because the Small Fry does not want to be disturbed when the night owl comes into bed. By giving more than enough space, the Small-Fry increases the chances of not being woken up. The Small-Fry may also like sleeping in a tight fetal position in general.

Small-Fries may be considered the optimal bed fellow for some and a little sad for others. Small-Fries are not as apt to cuddle in the middle of the night. While you may enjoy more of the bed to yourself, you may not want to feel completely separate when sleeping. While you are not going to change a Small-Fry’s sleeping habits, you can snuggle before bed. You can also engage in mid-day naps (if you’re tired for a mid-day nap, it can be easier to fall asleep in different positions).

  The “Starfish”

The Small-Fry could also be responding to the Starfish. The Starfish loves to spread out. They are the ones who will want to sleep diagonally on the bed if you let them. The Starfish wants every part of their body to enjoy the comfort of the mattress. Also, if they tend to like cooler temperatures at night, they may be doing this to cool off. A Starfish can make it a maze to find mattress space. You could be left dodging and weaving around limbs in order to find purchase on the bed. Starfish are also in a position that can tangle the blankets, leaving you with a rag of cloth to warm your body.

There can be a few reasons you have a Starfish on your hands. Women going through menopause or hormonal changes can exhibit this position when having hot flashes. If your darling is sick, they can be using this position to get space. If your partner does not have a health or body issue inspiring their Starfish, then you can give a little tough love. Don’t be afraid to move a Starfish’s limbs if you need to crawl into bed. They have accepted the fact that they may be woken up if they assume this position. If you’re smaller, you may be able to move the Starfish’s arm up and you can cuddle in the space created.

  The “Contortionist”

The Contortionist may or may not disturb your sleep, but what makes a Contortionist and Contortionist is your response. If you happen upon your sleeping lover, scratch your head and think “how in the hell are they sleeping like that?!” you have a Contortionist on your hands. These folk are only limited by their sleeping imagination. They can be sleeping with an arm under their back, one leg across the other thigh, smothered under blankets, or with their limbs bent and taught.

A Contortionist may not be a direct issue to you, but see how they’re sleeping. It is best not to fall asleep with limbs taught. A common example is having a wrist bent under the chin or having a foot extended by blankets. Doing this can cause pain when awake and could worsen certain existing conditions like arthritis or carpal tunnel. It’s good to talk to your Contortionist partner if they are experiencing pain. They are unaware of what they are doing and you can be a helpful set of eyes to assist them.

  The “Burrito”

The Burrito absolutely LOVES blankets. Blankets can be a comfort item in and of themselves. A Burrito loves multiple blankets and will use them ALL. Burritos are also known to make a nest or fort of their blankets. Their side of the bed will be overwhelmed with blankets and pillows. They are likely to have assigned pillows and blankets. A Burrito can have a main blanket for their torso, one for their feet, and one for their shoulders. They may assign a knee pillow, thigh pillow and neck pillow, and don’t you dare use the wrong pillow to get some shut-eye. Even if your Burrito lover isn’t as picky with their bedding, it doesn’t matter. Your Burrito will leave you with no blanket to call your own, and heaven forbid you have one main blanket to share between you.

So how do you handle your loving Burrito? While it might not seem as romantic, having a separate blanket for each person will make sure no one freezes their bum off. If you still want the chance to snuggle on the same blankets, you can have three blankets on the bed: yours, theirs, and a larger, shared one. Having a spare blanket on the foot of the bed or beside you is a great contingency plan if your Burrito assumes his or her natural state.

  The “Rebel”

There can be many reasons you have a Rebel on your hand. He or she may just be having a rough night and can’t get comfortable. This is a very common reason for seeing some...interesting sleeping techniques. Your Rebel is likely to try some differently sleeping methods for hopes of success. You may wake up and instead of seeing your lover's wonderful face, you're blessed with their feet. Rebels may also sneak off to the couch or collapse on the floor if they have given up on the bed altogether.

It’s important to know that your Rebel sleeper may just be having trouble sleeping and is not mad or upset at you. While partners may sleep in separate areas when upset, Rebels are generally not mad at you. They may have poor allergies, feel too hot or cold, or just need to sleep in a different place. If this is a constant issue, you may want to evaluate your bed. Does it need to be turned? Are their bum springs where your rebel sleeps? How’s the temperature? If allergies drive your Rebel away, you can invest in an ionizer as well as pillow covers. Find out what your Rebel’s main issue is and address that issue.

People can fluctuate from one sleeping style to another without even realizing it (but trust me, your partner knows). You could even develop different styles depending on your partner’s styles. It can be almost a war of sleeping styles, if you will. So what cuddle style are you? Does it drive your partner mad? Or do you drive your lover mad?


Contributor: Dixiemomma

HAHAHA I dated a "Koala" once... I called him the octopus tho..... no matter what i did there was no escaping his arms and legs LOL

Contributor: PropertyOfPotter

What a funny, and accurate article! I really enjoyed this one, thank you!

Contributor: joolie

My mate is a burrito starfish somehow, thus I am a Rebel.

Contributor: RaspberryRogue

This was hilarious! I know I have been all of these at some point or another. Lol great article! ^^

Contributor: KrissyNovacaine

I am a Burrito Contortionist Starfish... Go big or go to bed!

Contributor: GingerSpice

nice!! i'm normally the burrito lol....but think i've experienced all of



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