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If Star Wars was remade, ala 50 Shades of Grey

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Yesterday, I was watching Star Wars for the 8,000th time and I realized that with a little creative trimming and some strong imagination, Star Wars could make some pretty great erotica. Better than 50 Shades of Grey, at least.


Jenny you scare me. In that good way.


Wow. *This* would make Star Wars sooo much more interesting!

Heretic Husband  

Have you ever heard of the Star Wars Pants Game? You take a star wars quote and replace a word with 'pants'

"You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought!"

"Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants."

" You are unwise to lower your pants. "

"A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. "

"Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser. "


Star Wars was actually a porno. . .Obi-Wan = Oh Big One Knob, Hans Solo = HanDs Solo, Princess Leia = Princess Lay-her, and then at the end, all of the "X" and "Y" fighters have to try to get into a giant sphere and only one of them can make it. . .Luke hears a voice telling him to "use the force" and then he get's in and explodes. . . .


My personal favourite: "Pull out, Wedge, you're not doing any good back there!"


Awesome! Love it!


Haha....I've never even SEEN (any of the movies) Star Wars, and this is funnny stuff!!! Yeah...don't make fun of me, please! I just do. not. like. SCIFI!

Serena Shirley  

This is SO funny. I love "It came from...behind." Because who doesn't love a good anal sex joke?
Also, to the above poster who hasn't see Star Wars because they don't like Sci-fi, Star Wars is a Fairy Tale. It takes place long ago in a land (galaxy) far, far away. Yoda is like a fairy godmother, Princess Leia is the princess that needs saving from the Dark Lord (Vader) who imprisoned her, and Han Solo is the Lance-a-lot (The Knight/bad boy) type character who saves her. It's very romantic. "I love you." "I know"


I. Love. You. No Joke.
Princess Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

This is the best. You are the best. And now I kinda wanna watch Star Wars...


I'm definitely going to have to re-watch Star Wars now!


too cute. thank you




you have literally just made my day.. marry me?


This is why I need to read your blog more often! *dies laughing*
I was a VERY OLD 3 year old when Star Wars came out. I knew it was porno material the moment I saw Luke Skywalker smile! *sigh* And I wonder why I am the way I am NOW.


Love this!



Discussion Last Post Category
Fictional characters and sex toys? [1] Jul.24, 2012

Interviews with The Bloggess

  • Most people know Jenny as The Bloggess, a prolific writer with a sense of humor and style that many are scrambling to imitate. How does a woman who hides in the bathroom at most blogger conferences and muses on clown porn get to be an online sensation?

    Jenny is a columnist, blogger, mom and comedian. Her personal blog, [|], is extremely popular and has developed a cult following, according to Marie Claire Magazine. She’s been a regular contributor to the online Houston Chronicle since 2006 and also writes a popular advice column for PNN and a satirical sex column for [|SexIs Magazine]. Jenny has been the keynote speaker at major conferences, as well as featured on countless sites including and MSNBC; and Gawker once referred to her as an "interesting psycho". She prefers the term "creative visionary". Jenny suggests you ask her about how she gets her hair so shiny, or what’s wrong with her. But we know that’s a wig, and there’s nothing wrong with Jenny – she created a pitch perfect style that grabs readers, and keeps them. Whether inadvertently mobilizing the Bloggess Army, going to [|Japan] on a sex culture / geisha mission of sorts, interviewing [|porn stars], giving sex advice, or relating the hilarious arguments she has with [|her husband], The Bloggess has us hooked. Join us in learning more about this unpredictable funny lady.

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