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When the Vibe Went Missing
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A tale of woe from the Emergency Department Nurse's perspective.


Contributor: Kitka

Just goes to show that this happens more often than people think. Be safe people, use toys intended for anal play in your bum!

Contributor: Mamastoys

I'm rolling because I can see this scene playing out!!! Not from the wife's view but from the nurses'!!!! I was right there with you throughout it- including the attitude! Thanks for sharing!!

Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast

Oh my god I can so see this scene it is funny but not. This is why there are safety issues when it comes to toys for the booty. Thanks for sharing!

Contributor: Matoira

I want to slap that man. I'm sorry but you being in pain because of something stupid YOU did does NOT take precedence over people with serious, life threatening injuries. Your embarrassment is why you're in a packed ER, and it's your own damn fault. He shouldn't be embarrassed he had a toy up his ass. He should be embarrassed he had the disgusting selfishness to be IGNORANT to the medical staff who are wasting their VERY valuable time with him all because he & his wife screwed up whole getting their rocks off.

For the record, I've been in his situation. I was in my late teens and was lucky to have a vibrator, let alone know what a butt plug was at that point. I screwed up, bamn. Up the shoot. My (now) husband's license was suspended, & I didn't have one, yet. I was NOT asking my mom to drive me to the ER because I had a 6 inch glow in the dark vibrator stuck up my arse. It took about 16 hours, most of which I spent standing and moving around because it hurt so bad to sit down, and I was hoping to work it out with motion. Thankfully, it wasn't messy, just painful when it worked itself out. Yes, it hurt, and I have SEVERE intestinal problems because of several chronic illnesses which made it even more fun. But it was our own fault. Like hell would I have had the audacity to attack or be rude to other people over it, not even my husband who was *technically* to blame (long story).

Maybe I'm just uptight but I can't stand people being ignorant to others, especially for no reason. And he put himself in that situation. My Aunt was ignored in an ER for 3 hours while having a heart attack. Her cardiologist said that the lack of interference & care on the ER's part cut years off of her life.

A few years ago I was in the (same) ER with a severe bacterial intestinal infection that put me in so much pain, I truly thought I was dying (I have fibromyalgia with massive, severe pain as well as when I say serious pain, I'm not kidding), and was later told I was lucky that I DIDN'T die from it. First, they screwed me off in the ER for hours and hours while I was in agony to the point I was throwing up stomach acid because I'd been throwing up everything in my stomach for days but it hurt so bad my body kept retching, even though there was one other person there, who was there for, get this: the sniffles. Shit you not. They'd had a cold for two days and were panicking (one of the nurses kept grumbling it was a regular hypochondriac of theirs). But okay, fine, maybe things were going on I couldn't see. But then they REALLY screwed up: they were supposed to quarantine me for three weeks (I didn't find out until over a week later that this infection is deadly if not treated within a couple days of onset) & find out every place I'd been, everything I'd eaten for two weeks, what people and animals I interacted with, all of it. They did none of this. They told me NONE of this. They did the tests, told me I had a bacterial intestinal infection, gave me prescriptions and sent me on my way.

A few days later, I had to rush several states away because my girlfriend's mother had passed away and I had to get her there, and I sure as hell wasn't letting her go alone.

So, because the ER screwed up & didn't quarantine me or even tell me this infection was dangerous, I get a call while in Florida from the local health unit back home telling me they're going to have me ARRESTED when I get home for "public endangerment" and all this crap. Because the ER lied to them and told them that they'd tried to quarantine me & I'd "become violent and threatening and insisted on leaving."

I was doped out of my head with demoral (sp?) to help with the pain that night. One of the nurses & my girlfriend had to help me into a wheelchair and wheel me to my car for my girlfriend to drive us home that night. I couldn't have been combative if I'd tried.

So, as far as ER's go, that asshat should count himself lucky that the nurses & Doctor's didn't laugh at his sorry ass and turn his X-Rays into a giant bulletin board in the ER waiting room that's said "Friends don't let friends bugger with vibes. Bugger responsibly."

I know this is supposed to be a "lol" story + cautionary tale but I just want to punch this guy so hard, more than just a vibe would pop out his butt.

Contributor: travelnurse

Trust me I understand. After years as working as an Emergency room nurse you wouldn't believe all of the stories i could tell you. I actually have seen at least 10 vibes and dildo's gone missing as well ass assorted things that people put up their butt accidentally! Or fell on them.

Contributor: SneakersAndPearls

Wow. Embarrassed AND entitled. Just wow.

Contributor: Badass

Omg, I thought this was hilarious. I LOL'ed for real..

Contributor: Mrs. Lynda

Thanks for sharing. ROTFLMAO! I guess this is where one would suggest education through eden fantasy! I do have to wonder suffering through the hours of stuck dildo how many Os were possible. I mean why wait for hours before you even go to ER? My hubby would have tried a bag of Sugar free chocolate or Fleet's Phosphasoda before going to the ER...(rolling eyes)

Contributor: ska

love this



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