I had a really strange revelation this morning... I guess a bit of background would help.
I've always been a big girl, very shy about my body... Except when I'd lost a lot of weight from an eating disorder. Everyone kept telling me how great I looked since I'd lost weight, which boosted my confidence, which of course made me think I was doing something right.
My partner, being a health nut, worked with me to get me eating normally again, but that also led to me gaining weight. Due to the damage caused to my metabolism from the eating disorder, depression, stress and birth control, I ended up becoming a size 18, which I struggled to accept.
I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, criticizing myself constantly. My belly jiggles. My arms are fat. My legs are massive. Seriously, horribly negative crap.
I didn't realize how much I've changed, how much EF's body positivity and openness had helped me until this morning.
I woke up because the dogs were barking like crazy and I wanted to see what was going on. I figured someone had pulled into the driveway, so I got up and walked out of our bedroom to look out the window.
As it turns out, I didn't need to look out the window, because the dogs were barking at something IN the house. Two construction workers had come inside- under the impression that no one was home- to do a few finishing touches on the house, and they were standing outside of my bedroom, staring in surprise at me.
I'd slept naked.
They immediately apologized and backed out into the hallway, giving me a chance to grab my nightgown, then apologized more when I told them it was safe to come back in, saying that they'd been told no one would be home.
I laughed and said, "It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I flashed the crowd at Ozzfest, so it's not like nobody's seen them before!" which got them laughing too.
Now, it's been a few hours, and I've had time to think about it, and something struck me--- I'm not really phased by the fact that 2 men I barely know (one of them being my age and relatively attractive) saw me naked this morning.
Had that same thing happened a year ago, I would've been absolutely mortified- I would've locked myself in my bedroom and cried from embarrassment. Instead, I just grabbed a nightgown and went about my morning, even joking and chatting with the guys as if it was no big deal.
So, my question is this: Has your self-image changed recently, and did EF play a role in that change?
I've always been a big girl, very shy about my body... Except when I'd lost a lot of weight from an eating disorder. Everyone kept telling me how great I looked since I'd lost weight, which boosted my confidence, which of course made me think I was doing something right.
My partner, being a health nut, worked with me to get me eating normally again, but that also led to me gaining weight. Due to the damage caused to my metabolism from the eating disorder, depression, stress and birth control, I ended up becoming a size 18, which I struggled to accept.
I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, criticizing myself constantly. My belly jiggles. My arms are fat. My legs are massive. Seriously, horribly negative crap.
I didn't realize how much I've changed, how much EF's body positivity and openness had helped me until this morning.
I woke up because the dogs were barking like crazy and I wanted to see what was going on. I figured someone had pulled into the driveway, so I got up and walked out of our bedroom to look out the window.
As it turns out, I didn't need to look out the window, because the dogs were barking at something IN the house. Two construction workers had come inside- under the impression that no one was home- to do a few finishing touches on the house, and they were standing outside of my bedroom, staring in surprise at me.
I'd slept naked.
They immediately apologized and backed out into the hallway, giving me a chance to grab my nightgown, then apologized more when I told them it was safe to come back in, saying that they'd been told no one would be home.
I laughed and said, "It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I flashed the crowd at Ozzfest, so it's not like nobody's seen them before!" which got them laughing too.
Now, it's been a few hours, and I've had time to think about it, and something struck me--- I'm not really phased by the fact that 2 men I barely know (one of them being my age and relatively attractive) saw me naked this morning.
Had that same thing happened a year ago, I would've been absolutely mortified- I would've locked myself in my bedroom and cried from embarrassment. Instead, I just grabbed a nightgown and went about my morning, even joking and chatting with the guys as if it was no big deal.
So, my question is this: Has your self-image changed recently, and did EF play a role in that change?
