Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I immediately thought of when reading your post.

“When I am on the road and forget to bring my trusty ole realistic vagina along with me, here is what I really like to do. I take a Ziploc freezer bag, the one gallon size preferably, and I squeeze a whole bottle of hand lotion into it. I then slide it in between a couch cushion and the couch of wherever I happen to find myself. I then get down on my knees in front of the couch, and begin to fantasize about Bea Arthur, in an impure manner, if you catch my meaning.”

In reality I have never done this, but after reading about this method, and laughing so hard about it, it has always popped into my head at really stupid and inappropriate times. I, for very obvious reasons, have never had the opportunity to share this story before so I am very exited to be sharing it here today with all of you... Woohoo!

Now, if anyone has or is willing to try this crazy couch-cushion-method of masturbation, please post here and tell everyone how awesome it was, and please think of Bea Arthur. less

I'm curious as to what everyone uses during masturbation when, heaven forbid, you don't have access to any sex toys. Like when you're on vacation and you accidentally forgot to pack your rabbit, or were too scared to bring your bullet with you on a weekend trip to your parent's.

My old standby is a handheld shower head, but you can kinda give yourself away by taking 30 minute showers. Not to mention it kind of puts a damper on things when your dad is banging on the door screaming " Get out. You're wasting water!" less

Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I immediately thought of when reading your post.

“When I am on the road and forget to bring my trusty ole realistic vagina along with me, here is what I really like to do. I take a Ziploc freezer bag, the one gallon size preferably, and I squeeze a whole bottle of hand lotion into it. I then slide it in between a couch cushion and the couch of wherever I happen to find myself. I then get down on my knees in front of the couch, and begin to fantasize about Bea Arthur, in an impure manner, if you catch my meaning.”

In reality I have never done this, but after reading about this method, and laughing so hard about it, it has always popped into my head at really stupid and inappropriate times. I, for very obvious reasons, have never had the opportunity to share this story before so I am very exited to be sharing it here today with all of you... Woohoo!

Now, if anyone has or is willing to try this crazy couch-cushion-method of masturbation, please post here and tell everyone how awesome it was, and please think of Bea Arthur. less

Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I immediately thought of when reading your post.

“When I am on the road and forget to bring my trusty ole realistic vagina along with me, here is what I really like to do. I take a Ziploc freezer bag, the one gallon size preferably, and I squeeze a whole bottle of hand lotion into it. I then slide it in between a couch cushion and the couch of wherever I happen to find myself. I then get down on my knees in front of the couch, and begin to fantasize about Bea Arthur, in an impure manner, if you catch my meaning.”

In reality I have never done this, but after reading about this method, and laughing so hard about it, it has always popped into my head at really stupid and inappropriate times. I, for very obvious reasons, have never had the opportunity to share this story before so I am very exited to be sharing it here today with all of you... Woohoo!

Now, if anyone has or is willing to try this crazy couch-cushion-method of masturbation, please post here and tell everyone how awesome it was, and please think of Bea Arthur. less