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Making Noise
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Who doesn’t like positive feedback? I mean, when you are working hard, it’s really nice to know that you are making a good impression. For some, it is hard to vocalize their enjoyment. I have oscillated from being a talker, moaner, and silent companion depending on what my relationships are like. I have found that the more feedback I give and receive; the better the sex is for everyone.


Ah, talking… It was always a hurdle that I would almost clear, and then something would happen, and I clam up again. I am working on rediscovering my sexy dirty talking goddess again, but I have to throw off the shame that previous partners put on me for it. I love being treated like I have been bad and an authority figure has to punish me. This doesn’t have to be full role-play, but that element is really nice. It’s probably why I have kink in my life. For this to happen, both parties need to talk and interact, but there is a more basic level of talking that should be happening in the bedroom.

Here is a list of the basic required vocabulary:


Anything more than that is what I would consider beyond the basics and probably a different article. These basic words should be uttered at any point during sex where they are appropriate. To use a navigational metaphor, they are course corrections. You aren’t lost; you just need to change a little of what your partner is doing.


I love non-verbal communication. I find that it is somewhere between the two others when it comes to clarity. Giving oral sex when the receiver has a firm grip on the back of your head is a lot more fun. Sometimes non-verbal cues can be misinterpreted. For a long time my most recent partner interpreted my whimper and pout as meaning that he was hurting me when it really said was “GO HARDER”. He learned, but only through verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication is still important even if it can be misunderstood. Having sex with a blank expression on your face is just going to be weird. Be aware of your expressions to. I have had sex with someone who looked confused and pained. I learned that it was him enjoying himself, but it was not sexy. In fact, it was weird and totally took me out of the zone.

  Variety is the spice of life

All three communication types deserve a place in the bedroom. Without all of them, something will always be missing for me.



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