A wonderful way to relax and spend some quality time with your partner, and also an incredible way to come closer as a couple. Now, when Gary came to me and asked that I do an intro tutorial for massage, I wasn't sure what to throw in. I'll be covering the basics, and some tips that will surely make your time massaging one another more memorable and also more sensual.
First things first: Why give one another a massage?
Quite simply, giving and receiving a massage can be wonderfully relaxing for both you and your partner. It doesn't have to be sexual, and it doesn't have to have an ulterior motive, though it often does. Massage never HAS
to end in sex, but it certainly can, and depending on your relationship may end there often. That is a decision best left to you and your lover or partner.
Step 1: Set up a relaxing atmosphere.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you need $20 worth of rose petals and a massage table, or a huge waterfall feature in the corner of the room. Turn the lights down low, or consider going with just candle light. Keep the room at a temperature that you both will be comfortable at completely nude. Turn on some relaxing music, and maybe even pour some wine or your choice of relaxing beverage.
Step 2: Have all supplies nearby and ready to use
If you are going to be using specialty oils (I personally recommend straight sweet almond oil, but use what works for you), have them nearby. I would also consider having a couple of clean warm towels nearby, and even a sheet to drape over your lover to keep them relaxed as you finish massaging each area. I would heat the oil or lube of your choice up a little warmer than body temperature. A good way to do this is to immerse the bottle (while closed) into a cup of hot water.
Step 3: Have your partner strip and lay down comfortably
Again, this doesn't have to be on a $1000 dollar massage table. You can use your bed, the kitchen table, the marble island in the kitchen.. wherever, just make it comfy. Use pillows you aren't worried about a little oil getting onto, as this can get messy.
Step 4: Start slow
The first few times I gave a massage with warm oil, I went straight for the oil and it wasn't long before I was bored and tired of massaging. Start with light rubbing on dry skin, and pay attention to their muscles in different areas. Have a sweet conversation, and try to help them relax completely. As you slowly warm their body up by rubbing, you can move on to adding oil.
Step 5: Slicking Things Up
My biggest tip here: ALWAYS pour the oil into your hand first to check and make sure it is the right temperature.
Nothing will ruin an atmosphere of sensuality and decadence faster than oil burns on the back or having cold oil pulled onto warm skin. Once you've made sure the oil is comfortable, rub it on your hands first.
Step 6: Start Rubbing
It sounds really simple doesn't it? Well, there are 3 main types of touch for an exceptional amateur massage:
French, meaning to touch lightly or skim over, is the form of touch you should employ first. This is where you are warming their skin and muscles up, increasing blood flow, and generally relaxing them. In the picture, you'll notice the arrows showing a basic path for good effleurage.
Notice that the rubbing never really stops in one position, as the point here really is continuous movement and to get the blood moving around the muscles of the back.
the term comes again from the French, and it means to knead. The name of the game here is rhythmic kneading of the skin and underlying muscle with palms and fingers.
The picture demonstrates a basic use of petrissage, which is to pinpoint tense areas and knead and roll them in the fingers to slowly lessen tension. Move slowly and surely, and keep a good rhythm and those tense balls of daily stress should melt away.
Tapotement is also taken from the French word Tapoter, which means to tap or to drum. While performing tapotement, the idea is to tap gently upon different areas to reinvigorate the nervous system and encourage the release of built up lymphatic fluid in different areas of the body. As with petrissage, rhythm and consistency are key. You can always tap harder, but pay attention to whomever you are massaging to see what they can handle or what they enjoy.
Start with the effleurage, and work your way into petrissage and tapotement as needed. Sometimes simple light rubbing is all that is needed, and occasionally getting into the deeper tissue massages techniques is necessary. It will all depend on you and your partner.
(A good tip here, is to consider putting your vibrators and cheap 4-prong plastic massagers to use. Your hands will get tired, and using a toy for help isn't a bad idea! Do be careful though, as some oils are dangerous to some of the materials your wonderful toys are made of!)
As your partner relaxes, and possibly even falls asleep, you can slowly work your way back to effleurage to really release all of their tension. All of the little techniques I mentioned can be used all over the body, but if you are doing a whole body massage, please cover each area after you get done (as the skin will be warmer, and the air in the room could cause chills).