Hola!

Today on Sexis we've got a wham-bam-no-thank-you- ma'am of good internet lovin' gone oh-so bad. Our intrepid internet cub reporter Cherry Trifle has thrown herself straight into the horses' mouths to bring you tales of gifts that really should have been returned at the customer service desk.

Ever wonder what'd it'd be like for someone to start channeling Sean Connery during sex? Or why moms do not need to accompany their sons on first dates? Or--and this is really important--what in the bluest of blue hells is a Wrankle?

For the answers to those questions and more, read on! And feel free to share your best/worst e-hookups!