The New Intimacy

The Man Project – Tell us what you want and you just might get it!

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Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Sexis has a new project! The Man Project!

But, just what the hell does it mean to be a man, anyway? In this series of articles, SexIs will turn the spotlight on the male of the species to explore where our culture stands regarding male sexuality, what’s lacking from the conversation—and how the questions we aren’t asking effect us all.

This is your chance to tell us what you think, what you'd like to see, what questions you think we should be asking or trying to answer. What do you think The Man Project should cover?

We'll select the best ideas and choose a winner and two runners-up who will each get an Eden Fantasys gift card. ($50 for the winner and $25 each for the runner.)

The contest is open from now until Thursday, June 17th at 11:59 p.m. so get your thinking berets, fedoras, ball caps, whatever... just start brainstorming!
06/11/2010
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Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I'd like to read about what men think makes them sexy - basically their self-image and how that plays into their confidence and sexuality.

I also think it would be cool to see a 'post secret' style piece about what men really want or fear or think or love, but are afraid to say - all anonymous submissions.

Hope those are helpful
06/11/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
I'd really want to see something about what men *really* like in a woman. Not the regular just "butt and boobs". Also what attracts them personality-wise to a female?

If they're married, what about their wife do they find most attractive and how do they keep the romance alive? Something like that.

How do males feel about sex toys? A waste of time, or something to supplement sex? Do they really feel as threatened by sex toys as books make them sound?

What do males really feel like penis size is a big deal like everyone makes it sound? How did they come to terms with their penis size? Is it still a big deal to them? Do they still worry about it when they first have sex?

I'd love to hear stories of marriage proposals from the guy's point of view. I'd love to hear how they feel about marriage and the ceremony as well as personal experience. Most books paint guys as the type that don't care about the marriage or anything at all; I'd want to know if that's true.
06/11/2010
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
I would like to read about men's encounters with societal pressures around their gender. What experiences did you have that made you feel good or bad about your gender? What experiences shaped how you act in society, or caused you to rebel against gender norms?

I'd also like to know more about male role models. I had a lot of male role models growing up (both fictional and real), and many of my answers to "Who would you like to be?" would have been men. What role models did you have, how did they affect you, and how did your role models change over time as you aged and learned more about the world? I would be particularly interested in hearing from men who had female role models they admired and/or learned from.

Another thing that might spark some interest is if men talked about misconceptions people had about them. Like, "Just because I am/have ______, people often assume XYZ about me." How do people's perceptions of you shape your self-image? How do you fight against people's assumptions of you? Are there qualities you have that people feel are good/sexy/advantageous but you see them as flaws/disadvantages?
06/11/2010
Contributor: Red Red
This is just plain stupid, but I would love to see a huge list of all the names men call their penis. Anyways, carry on!
06/12/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'd love to know the fascination men have with their penises and why they feel the need to have "cock measuring contests" with other men when they feel as though their territory is being invaded by another.

What does it feel like when a man ejaculates? What does it feel like when he gets hard?

And I'd love to know why some men think it's alright to substitute body sprays for deodorant.
06/12/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
What goes through a man's mind as he passes through puberty and enters into adulthood in regard to his sexuality?

What attracts men to women or men to other men?

Why are men so turned off of getting manicures, pedicures, and other spa treatments that women usually partake in?
06/12/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Do men sometimes buy women's panties just to know what it feels like to wear them?
06/12/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'd love to know what goes through a man's mind when he goes clothing shopping.
06/13/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Is there a certain way for a woman to act that will make a man feel insecure to the point that he feels he needs to lie about himself? (I say woman because I imagine that man to man communication is different than man to woman, regardless of sexual orientation.) Is there a way for her to act that will encourage him to be honest about himself?
06/14/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I'd love to know what goes through a man's mind when he goes clothing shopping.
"Those ruffly panties would look so cute on her tush..."
HAHA!!!
06/14/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
What does a man think about all of that advice that Cosmo and other girly magazines give out?
06/14/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I'm impressed just by seeing what you all are wondering about men - very cool ideas so far!
06/14/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Some great ideas going on here... keep it up!
06/14/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I would love to see an article exploring the diversity of both male gender expression (like Rockin with a cock suggested), and male fantasy and desire in the bedroom (since I think a lot of the perception of male desire is pretty stereotyped).

I'd enjoy something covering what turns men on...and not in the cosmo way (ie. brief description) but something that describes the wider range of what sensuality means to men...ie, like the perfect sensual evening.

I would love to see something about men and anal play (either self-play or with strapons)...

...in a similar vein I would love to see something about men who really embrace sex toys as a way to explore sexuality with themselves and/or their partner. (I for one really love wearing not just receiving, our strapon toys, it's a total power trip/role reversal).

I'd be interested in an article or even brief piece that has men describe what it is to be male in general. Kind of open ended, but I'm always curious about that.

Might be a little out of the scope of this article, but I would always be interested in an article that explored trans/queer identities and in this case it would be interesting to see FtM identified people particularly, but anyone who identified as male but was not necessarily born male and how they viewed the gender.
06/14/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
"Those ruffly panties would look so cute on her tush..."
HAHA!!!
I think you're in the minority that do HAHAHA
06/14/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'd love to know what goes through a man's mind when his romantic interest tells him she's a sex toy reviewer and writer on the first date.
06/14/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Hmmm... I think I want to know why a man would want to wander to another woman if he's happy with the one he has. Like his mental process in that, does he really think about it? Or does his dick do all the thinking?

I also want to know why some men feel so intimated by/afraid of toys.
06/14/2010
Contributor: Kinky Skier Kinky Skier
id like to see a few things

what men think about anal play and prostate stimulation, there has to be more men than we think that like this

also, what they think about how society is changing, where women are becoming more frequently the money makers in the family
06/14/2010
Contributor: Phallicity Phallicity
Not sure how you're going to filter your survey, but as broad as that topic is... to say you will get generalized responses is an understatement. Still, it should be interesting!

Being a man, I have my own opinions and answers for most of those questions... however, some issues I'd be interested to know how other men feel or deal with...

Do you feel intimidated by your partner's use of sex toys, large dildos, etc?

Have you ever compromised one of your principles for a lover? Did that diminish you or help you grow?

What is your focus during sex?

If you could only perform one sexual act a night for a month (the same one every night), what would you choose? In essence, what act do you find to be most vital or important?
06/16/2010
Contributor: buchan buchan
I kinda wonder how many men really feel like they have to conform to all these expectations still in 2010. Like some of my friends have anxiety about being unable to fulfill their prescribed gender role, but in Tokyo you can join a discussion group for men who like desserts, and, apparently, "eyebrow plucking is very popular among high school boys". They call them "herbivores" (NPR).

So! As a man, would it be okay not to be assertive with or not to actively pursue women? Would it be okay to partake in these spa treatments and the love of sweets instead of things like beer and cars? And would it be shameful at all? Would you have to hide it for fear of appearing feminine or gay?
06/16/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
I have another thought.... what goes through a man's mind when his gf/wife buys a sex toy for him, especially when he's never used one before?

How about 'masculine' work/chores/etc versus 'feminine' ones?

Does a man always expect the woman to get the sex toys, lubes, condoms, etc?

How does a straight male react to his gf/wife using realistic dildos, especially ones bigger than him?
06/16/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
What's with the 'madonna'/'whore' categorizing?

Why do men go for women who are 'bad' and - by all legal definitions - insane?

Is baby talk to pets a real threat to your masculinity?

Why lie about your libido?

Why is it difficult to admit you're in love? Are you in love, even?

Why do you have to call us women 'crazy' when you don't want to deal with something we bring up?
06/16/2010
Contributor: LillyG LillyG
I would like to know what men really think about women who are sexually open/aggressive/unafra id. Are they just sluts, an easy lay, nothing important, a 'whore'? Or is there more to it?

Women who enjoy sex, flirt lots, have had multiple partners and are unashamed of accepting thir sexual appetite as equal to a man, would you enter a relationship with them? Be friends with them? Take them seriously? Are 'sluts' a bad thing?
06/16/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
What is the appeal of a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket?
06/16/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
What is the appeal of a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket?
Here's your answer
06/16/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by buchan
I kinda wonder how many men really feel like they have to conform to all these expectations still in 2010. Like some of my friends have anxiety about being unable to fulfill their prescribed gender role, but in Tokyo you can join a discussion group ... more
That was a very entertaining and eye-opening article! Thanks for sharing, buchan
06/17/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Just a few hours left to get your ideas in!
06/17/2010
Contributor: Judy Cole Judy Cole
Quote:
Originally posted by Ciao.
I would love to see an article exploring the diversity of both male gender expression (like Rockin with a cock suggested), and male fantasy and desire in the bedroom (since I think a lot of the perception of male desire is pretty ... more
Hey Boink!

The Trans thing is going to be covered. Already have some things lined up.
06/21/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
Quote:
Originally posted by Judy Cole
Hey Boink!

The Trans thing is going to be covered. Already have some things lined up.
That is awesome, I was not aware! (then I was on hiatus from here for a good long while too). Glad to see it's getting some coverage.
06/21/2010