The New Intimacy

Do you have sexual requirements for a partner?

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Contributor: Kim! Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
kinky
Madeira , Tori Rebel , DeliciousSurprise , JustYourAverageGuy , Owl Identified , Rainbow Boy , Miss Naughty Kitty , Dusk , Throwingawaysoon , Lady Venus , beautifulpierced , gone77 , Jill Ingoff , LittleBoPeep , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , c0l3m4ntg4nn , Liz2 , Eeyor89 , jakjak , Not here , null , mllebeauty , Shellz31 , Yoda , mb , Joie de Cherresse , KimmyBaby , MaryExy , padmeamidala , froggiemoma , lovemuscle n cookie , Ansley , Lady Marmelade , darthkitt3n , ss143 , LostBoy988 , sarki , potstickers , Wildchild , jeangel246 , QSBybakd , Indigo Morada
43
high sex drive
Madeira , Tori Rebel , DeliciousSurprise , JustYourAverageGuy , Waterfall , Owl Identified , YvetteJeannine , Rainbow Boy , Miss Naughty Kitty , tits only , Throwingawaysoon , Lady Venus , Kindred , Pleasure Piratess , Gunsmoke , Jill Ingoff , LittleBoPeep , Love Buzz , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , c0l3m4ntg4nn , Liz2 , Eeyor89 , Not here , OhMy! , null , mllebeauty , cherryredhead88 , Shellz31 , Yoda , mb , Joie de Cherresse , KimmyBaby , MaryExy , Mommy2 , froggiemoma , Taylor , sassyNsensual , Ansley , Sex'и'Violence , Miss Anonymous , Lady Marmelade , averageguyextrodinarypleasure , ss143 , LostBoy988 , playtimeohsofun , mrs.edgecomb2010 , sarki , potstickers , Wildchild , MissCandyland
51
must be willing to reciprocate orally or in other ways
Madeira , Tori Rebel , DeliciousSurprise , Waterfall , Skelis , Sir , Owl Identified , YvetteJeannine , Rainbow Boy , Miss Naughty Kitty , Throwingawaysoon , Lady Venus , Kindred , beautifulpierced , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , gone77 , Jill Ingoff , LittleBoPeep , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , c0l3m4ntg4nn , Liz2 , Eeyor89 , jakjak , Not here , OhMy! , null , mllebeauty , Yoda , mb , Joie de Cherresse , Rossie , froggiemoma , sassyNsensual , Ansley , Sex'и'Violence , ss143 , LostBoy988 , playtimeohsofun , Jenyana , sarki , potstickers , Wildchild , QSBybakd , Indigo Morada , AJvil , Stinkytofu10
48
dirty (and I don't mean unclean)
Madeira , Tori Rebel , DeliciousSurprise , Owl Identified , Rainbow Boy , Throwingawaysoon , Lady Venus , gone77 , LittleBoPeep , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , c0l3m4ntg4nn , Liz2 , Eeyor89 , jakjak , Not here , OhMy! , mllebeauty , Yoda , Joie de Cherresse , KimmyBaby , Rossie , MaryExy , angel142stx , Ansley , Sex'и'Violence , ss143 , LostBoy988 , sarki , potstickers , Wildchild , jeangel246 , BobbiJay
33
sensual
Avant-garde , Madeira , Tori Rebel , DeliciousSurprise , Waterfall , Sir , Owl Identified , YvetteJeannine , The Nakanas , Rainbow Boy , Miss Naughty Kitty , Dusk , Lady Venus , Kindred , Pleasure Piratess , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , gone77 , Jill Ingoff , LittleBoPeep , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , Liz2 , Eeyor89 , Not here , OhMy! , mllebeauty , cherryredhead88 , Yoda , mb , hornypoet69 , Joie de Cherresse , Rossie , Mommy2 , angel142stx , Taylor , lovemuscle n cookie , Ansley , darthkitt3n , ss143 , LostBoy988 , potstickers , Sunshineamine , jeangel246 , QSBybakd , BobbiJay , MissCandyland , Indigo Morada , Stinkytofu10
49
other
Chilipepper , Madeira , DeliciousSurprise , Waterfall , Sir , Owl Identified , The Nakanas , Miss Naughty Kitty , Lady Venus , Pleasure Piratess , Envy , El-Jaro , mrs.mckrakn , Naughty Student , Gunsmoke , Airen Wolf , Mr. E , Liz2 , Not here , cherryredhead88 , wondertoes , Sera , TheSexista , kawigrl , mb , Joie de Cherresse , KimmyBaby , IrishLassie , angel142stx , TameTemptress , Lady Marmelade , darthkitt3n , ss143 , LostBoy988 , Ryuson , playtimeohsofun , Jenyana , potstickers , Sunshineamine , Breas , Jon S , Indigo Morada , AJvil , Stinkytofu10
44
Total votes: 268 (87 voters)
Poll is closed
10/10/2010
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Must HAVE a libido ... (Ex-hubby didn't. Never again.)
10/10/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
I need a high sex drive, kinkiness, and a willingness to get down there (I'm a lesbian, if they won't go down on me we won't be fucking) and I do like sensuality and just a general interest in contact, they also need to be a domme or at least a switch (I'm a bottom, I need to be bottomed fairly frequently) luckily I found all this in my lovely girlfriend.
10/10/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
All of the above, plus a general open-mindedness when it comes to sex - trying new things, etc. It may sound greedy but I thought that on my 1st marriage and sexual incompatibility is a horrible thing to have to live with so now I make sure all partners will click entirely.
10/10/2010
Contributor: Miss Naughty Kitty Miss Naughty Kitty
really they just have to be open to trying new things. Wish the guy i was with had a higher sex drive, its so hard to believe that mine is higher.
10/10/2010
Contributor: tits only tits only
I love sex and my boyfriend don't like to have alot of sex. So right now it is hard on the relationship.
10/10/2010
Contributor: Throwingawaysoon Throwingawaysoon
I need all. I am still getting past the raging hormones of the teenage years. So... I still really like everything, a lot!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Thanks guys, this is more helpful than you know!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
(EdenFantasys)
Libido, sensuality, willingness to try new things, receive & give oral. Fortunately, my husband meets and exceeds all of those requirements! <3
10/11/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by Throwingawaysoon
I need all. I am still getting past the raging hormones of the teenage years. So... I still really like everything, a lot!
I'm convinced that some people never get past them! I'm 27 and mine seem overly high still. Especially when you add in the fact that I don't sleep much at all and I'm constantly busy!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Pleasure Piratess Pleasure Piratess
Definitely someone who is open... and accepting. I will never apologize for being myself.
10/11/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Not really, except I don't like being pushed into having sex or anything much since I have a really low libido.
10/11/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Must HAVE a libido ... (Ex-hubby didn't. Never again.)
yeah, sounds about right.
10/11/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
no. was always open to new men and expiriences
10/11/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
assertive and confident!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
My sex drive has always been higher - but my wife has adapted as much as she can. I can see where this can be a problem, especially for women whose spouses loose virility as they age. It takes some effort to balance out the differences - that's why love and understanding are necessary for anything to last a life time.
10/11/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I voted for all except for "high sex drive." For me, I think "compatible sex drive" would've been a better option. But they do need to have some libido. lol
10/11/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Absolutely MUST Requirements:

- For those that are packin' dicks, be average at minimum for penetration. Generally speaking I call for bigger than that. I do NOT discriminate when it comes to what they're made out of (well, actually no jelly or rubber, please!) I just require length and girth for intercourse...flesh, silicone, glass, whatever! If you work with something small, be willing to stimulate me in other ways because I will not be satisfied by penetration with below average size. Nothing personal!
- Be some kind of kinky. What you are specifically isn't so important: chances are we can find some common ground to work from. Actually, sometimes it's fun to have a partner and be like "Well, the only kink we share is (this obscure kink I almost never engage in) so...let's go for it!" Some of my now favorite kinks began their development that way, actually.
- Know what you like. I'm not saying you need to be able to draw a detailed chart of the inner workings of your sexual psyche, but if we get to bed and I say "What are you into?" and you say "Uh, lots of stuff. Whatever you wanna do..." then we are probably not going to bang.
- RESPECT BOUNDARIES AND CONSENT AT EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY. I will never, ever tolerate being pressured, manipulated, guilted or made to feel bad about my boundaries or about not wanting to do something. I always give respect for boundaries and agency and I expect the same in return.
- Be into safe sex. Period. I don't ask for dental dams for every rim job, but depending on how well I know you (and whether or not I can trust your account of your sexual history and last STI screening) I may ask for that. And if you can't get down with that? You can get to stepping.
- Be open-minded and PLEASE. BE. CREATIVE.
10/11/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
Typically, I have to know them for at least 4 months. I'm ridiculously picky, like, do a police background check to date, and want them to show me proof they have no STDs by seeing a health screening.

No joke, I'm serious. I'm that paranoid.

That aside, no barebacking. Period.

Mostly I prefer a sub or a pet, I generally won't have sex with anyone else. Being another domme is a complete no-no, because I'm a domme and I refuse submission.

Other than that, I'm not super enforcive.
10/11/2010
Contributor: FrenchKisser FrenchKisser
i'd say all of the above... but not all at once: it depends of the day LOL...
10/11/2010
Contributor: Jill Ingoff Jill Ingoff
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
I really need someone with a high sex drive. Most men cannot keep up with me. It's always fun at first but 3 months into the relationship and they're like "uh? we just had sex yesterday" meh!
10/11/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
All of the above plus a willingness to at least be open to whatever evil...I mean kinky idea that should enter my twisted little brain. I don't require compliance just a willingness to listen...LOL
10/11/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
A guy who doesn't think he absolutely the super stud and the woman should be thankful for the chance to feel his cock. Guys like that don't satisfy me and make me angry.
Yes, I need someone with a high sex drive and can be spontaneous.
And now in my life; not be intimidated by my toys.
My b/f of almost three years is awesome; hate to think of going through all the sexual games with someone else. I would be bored and frustrated rather fast...
10/12/2010
Contributor: Eeyor89 Eeyor89
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
My partner needs to be willing to try new things. I don't like it when sex gets boring.
10/12/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Before meeting my boyfriend, I'd only had sex with one other guy, so I had very little experience, but enough to know I didn't want to settle. So I waited for 7 months before having sex with anyone, and met my current boyfriend. Without even realizing it, I had found someone who met all of the criteria. I didn't know how kinky I actually was, until I met him, but I knew I wanted someone with a sex drive that matches mine (aka high), someone who is willing to give as well as receive, and someone who would get down n dirty.

Now that I've been with him for almost four years, we have gotten very in sync in our sex life, and I think it would be really difficult to find someone who was as compatible with me as he is. And I would definitely have to find a guy with a foot fetish if we ever broke up, because he has passed it on to me. I just wouldn't be sexually satisfied without that aspect, among many other things. Hopefully I never have to worry about that, because I'm very happy with my sex life
10/12/2010
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
I prefer they have a decent size... I have been spoiled in the past. I would also like them to somewhat know what they are doing, but they need to be kinky and explorative as well.

Since a few of these can be fixed, I would say the biggest thing is knowing how to use it and being open to trying new things.
10/12/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
He/she must have a high sex drive and have some kind of kinkiness going on! Nothing worse than a partner who is sexually dead!
10/13/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Kim!
I want to know, do you have sexual requirements for a partner? Things that if they don't happen it will not work? Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments.
No. For me Love is what matters most. Sex follows after love, and only after love. Or I don't give.
10/13/2010
Contributor: Yoda Yoda
I agree, love is the most important thing. But kinky, reciprocating, and willing to explore are all majorly important to me.
10/13/2010
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
yes and no i mean if i can tell that it's not going to work out I don't bring it to the next level
04/24/2011