It used to be extremely hard for me to say no to something, and I was in countless situations where I put up with being with someone once or a couple of times so (s)he would leave me alone when it's done...
I hated it from the bottom of my heart after a while, and blissfully, I have learned damned very well how to avoid such situations...
Have you ever been in a sexual situation you didn't want at all/that much, but you didn't dare to say no?
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Discussion Topics
1.
Has such a thing ever happened with you?
(39 posts)
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
04/29/2012
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Quote:
yes and i did anyway to save face
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
04/30/2012
Yes. Girls aren't really taught how to say "no", they're just told to do it. It's quite unfortunate.
04/30/2012
very well said Stormy. I was stuck there for 5 years. I finally stood up and put a stop to it. It was the hardest thing i ever did
04/30/2012
That wont happen to me
04/30/2012
I would hope that would never happen to me.
04/30/2012
Never happened and I am now in a happly commited marriage and I know I can say no to my husband and he would listen in an instant!
04/30/2012
I've never been in a situation like this. I'm currently married for almost 9 years now and he knows I can say no and he'll leave me alone.
04/30/2012
Not counting non-consensual acts when I was a child, I've always been a pretty assertive woman. I'm sorry you have been in situations where you were afraid to speak up and say no. Sadly, so many women are taught to not say anything even when a man gets aggressive sexually.
I was always able to say no, and extricate myself if needed. I did have one guy call me a "ingrate bitch" because I wouldn't have sex with him. We weren't even CLOSE to having sex, he just suggested he wanted to "fuck" me and I said, no, I didn't want to. I never gave him the time of day after that.
I've been in other, less nasty situations. I just stuck to my guns if I didn't want to have sex with the guy. I figured it was my prerogative to say no if I didn't want sex.
Despite loving sex, when I was dating, I said No more than I said yes. I always had a certain type of relationship in mind and a certain type of man and how I felt he should treat me, before I ever considered having sex with them.
I was always able to say no, and extricate myself if needed. I did have one guy call me a "ingrate bitch" because I wouldn't have sex with him. We weren't even CLOSE to having sex, he just suggested he wanted to "fuck" me and I said, no, I didn't want to. I never gave him the time of day after that.
I've been in other, less nasty situations. I just stuck to my guns if I didn't want to have sex with the guy. I figured it was my prerogative to say no if I didn't want sex.
Despite loving sex, when I was dating, I said No more than I said yes. I always had a certain type of relationship in mind and a certain type of man and how I felt he should treat me, before I ever considered having sex with them.
04/30/2012
Quote:
Thank you! And I'm glad you were able to get out of it.
Originally posted by
Loriandhubby
very well said Stormy. I was stuck there for 5 years. I finally stood up and put a stop to it. It was the hardest thing i ever did
04/30/2012
It's happened to me, but they have stopped. I'm now in the best relationship ever.
04/30/2012
Quote:
Sometimes I will have sex even if I am not totally in the mood. That's because I love my partner and want to satisfy him. Now if I am really not in the mood, I will say no to him, and he will understand.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
04/30/2012
Quote:
Been there, done that. Low self-esteem's a bitch.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
04/30/2012
Quote:
Indeed. I'm over it now but damn I subjected myself to a lot of stuff I didn't want earlier on in my life.
Originally posted by
badk1tty
Been there, done that. Low self-esteem's a bitch.
04/30/2012
Nope
04/30/2012
Nah.
04/30/2012
Quote:
Nope, never happened to me, and honestly never will.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
04/30/2012
This only happened once: The first time I had PIV.
I felt pressured into it, and it was one of the worst pains I've ever been felt. Still I didn't feel as if I should tell him to stop. I was pretty well educated and I knew you should never push through vaginal pain, but I put up with it for some reason.
And later on, he told me he felt pressured by me. Live and learn, I guess.
I felt pressured into it, and it was one of the worst pains I've ever been felt. Still I didn't feel as if I should tell him to stop. I was pretty well educated and I knew you should never push through vaginal pain, but I put up with it for some reason.
And later on, he told me he felt pressured by me. Live and learn, I guess.
05/01/2012
No, this hasn't happened to me. I hope I will never be in a situation that made me uncomfortable.
05/01/2012
I was 15 and we had sex shortly after my cat died because he wanted to. I lost my virginity because he wanted to loose his. That whole relationship was kinda messed up.
05/01/2012
Quote:
when i was a freshman in college i got drunk too much and got in alot of trouble. college boys dont know when to stop. and i was naive and stupid.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
05/01/2012
Quote:
several times....
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
05/22/2012
Sometimes you just can't tell if you're about to date the horniest man in the world...
05/23/2012
I only have sex if we both want to
05/25/2012
I've only done it if I've wanted to
07/02/2012
hasn't happened here.
07/03/2012
If you want the situation, you'll find your way right to it
07/03/2012
Quote:
I have NEVER and would NEVER have sex if I didn't want it to happen. There HAVE been times when I am not in the mood, but don't care if he pleasures himself inside me, and I will just say "honey, I'm too tired" or "just got other things on my mind"...but "ENJOY YOURSELF". In that case he will not bother with all kinds of foreplay or kissy face stuff, and may just insert himself into my vagina or anus and essentially use me as his nice, cuddly warm sex toy....but that is fine. HE is happy and it makes ME happy that he is happy, even if other things are on MY mind. That does NOT happen very often (once a year...if that?), but it is still NOT what you are talking about, I think. If I ever wanted to say NO, I would say NO and it would be respected. THAT is love and that is RESPECT. If you don't have those two things, you are in the WRONG relationship.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
07/03/2012
Quote:
At least if one wants it and the other really doesn't mind, in our case.
Originally posted by
SkinFlute
I only have sex if we both want to
07/03/2012
I assert my right to say no and my partner respects that.
07/03/2012
In my first marriage, "no" was always an option, and I exercised it quite often towards the end. One time, I decided to suck it up and just go with it, even though no part of me wanted to, and years later the memory of that ONE TIME makes me feel hollow. I can't imagine how a true violation must feel. It's a mistake I won't ever make again.
07/03/2012
I did this in high school! I gave my body to many people I really didn't want to, but since they wanted to, I did. I should have had some balls and told them to go Fuck themselves! I have more self respect now.
07/03/2012
Once, but it was more out of pity for the guy. I was seeing him, but not really interested and on our second date he told me he loved me. Waaaay more serious than I wanted; it was just a having fun kind of thing for me. He was such a sweet guy that I felt bad for him so we had sex once. It was awful! So needless to say, it never happened again.
07/20/2012
I had an entire relationship that I didn't want to be in, but I was emotionally bullied into feeling guilty for not wanting to be in it
07/20/2012
Quote:
Yes, a few times when I was younger and afraid to say no. I was dumb, but I really was inexperienced in sex knowledge, as my mom didn't tell me S*(% about sex. I had no clue what I was doing.
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
07/20/2012
Quote:
i was stuck in dead end thing n still gave in till i met my better ha;lf
Originally posted by
DreamWolf
I don't only mean single occasions, but whole relations, relationships, and not only actual sexual acts... Pretty much anything with another person what you considered to be intimate enough in your opinion...
07/20/2012
Unfortunately I have been
12/20/2012
it used to happen to me. now I stay away from people who don't make me feel good
12/21/2012
This has never happened to me, I'd always be quick to say it if I'm not in the mood.
My partner now is good at reading my body language so its not even an issue of having to say no.
My partner now is good at reading my body language so its not even an issue of having to say no.
12/21/2012
Total posts: 39
Unique posters: 37