The New Intimacy

How many here are into bondage, domination/submission, or pain of any kind (spanking, whipping, cock/ball torture devices...etc). Be it "mild" or "severe"?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. I have never once hit my finger with a hammer and had an orgasm. Cutting my legs shaving has never left me euphoric.
So, we brought this subject up with our "free speaking" dinner group last night and while a couple were "intrigued" by 50 Shades stories, they were not into any domination, any more then we are. Exactly zero, out of the fifteen couples there, does any kind of bondage or domination, pain, or anything like that.
So...how common is it? I know the EF crowd may not represent the population in general, but even here, how common is this?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, we do, sometimes get into that kind of play.
49
No, never. Sex for us is about pleasure and fun.
6
Other?
2
Total votes: 57 (56 voters)
Poll is closed
10/13/2012
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Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. ... more
Neither do we.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Neither do we.
Maybe none of the couples at your dinner admitted to it. Not everyone is comfortable with being out about their kinkiness, for fear of being misunderstood or judged.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Gluesnffr Gluesnffr
Yes, we do, sometimes get into that kind of play.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Jesyra Jesyra
We do. In fact we're going to be pushing some serious pain/pleasure and submission boundaries when my husband gets back from deployment
10/13/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I love BDSM. It's one of the things I beg for regularly. My husband has never had a partner ask for the things I do.
10/13/2012
Contributor: pixylove101 pixylove101
We like it.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. ... more
love pain equals pleasure, not sure why
10/13/2012
Contributor: panthercat23 panthercat23
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
love pain equals pleasure, not sure why
I don't understand it either, but there is good pain
10/13/2012
Contributor: Apirka Apirka
In my normal everyday activities, I don't enjoy pain. Not at all. Though during sex, getting a bit rough or spanked feels nice. Plus, when you're really aroused, your threshold for pain increases greatly, so some people who hate pain any other time might enjoy it then.

Though to be honest, I prefer to be the one dominating/spanking the other person. Power is definitely a turn on.
10/13/2012
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
Yes, we do
10/13/2012
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
Hell yeah! Submissive masochistic female here.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Zandrock Zandrock
I like it very much. There are a couple of aspects to it.

One huge one is trust. Bondage allows your partner complete control over you. This requires huge trust and is also freeing. If you are not in charge you have no responsibilities.

Masochism (liking pain) is different than hitting yourself with a hammer. It requires a typical mindset. And being with a partner. It creates a euphoric sensation and is probably associated with a massive endorphin release. I guess masochists probably have different genetics and release more endorphins than a normal person. And basically the pleasure released from them overpowers the pain sensation.

That is my perspective at least.
10/13/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Soft impact play with a slapper or crop - or blindfold with soft cuffs are as close as we get. No pain - just play.
10/13/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
"I have never once hit my finger with a hammer and had an orgasm" Neither have I, and I enjoy caning, spanking, flogging - you name it. Context is everything. For the most part, pain in a sexual context does not feel painful in the traditional sense. I often start giggling because it feels so good.

I don't getting domination or submission at all. I just like pain.

Wording is important when asking about this sort of thing. A lot of people enjoy biting and scratching for example, but don't consider that "kinky".
10/13/2012
Contributor: Master DarkWolf Master DarkWolf
W/we're into it.
10/13/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
I don't get into*
10/13/2012
Contributor: DreamWolf DreamWolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Master DarkWolf
W/we're into it.
Indeed... ^^
10/13/2012
Contributor: LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
We do some very light bondage, but I'd never want to hurt him. And I like getting my hair pulled and some hard thrusting that hurts just a little sometimes, but nothing more than that.
10/14/2012
Contributor: True Pleasures True Pleasures
There's a lot of biting and spanking that goes on around here.
10/14/2012
Contributor: leanright69 leanright69
Light spanking, wrist and ankle cuffs, soft folgger, nipple pinching, light bitting and a hair tug here and there.
10/14/2012
Contributor: plaidvulva plaidvulva
We get into everything listed. And, not "sometimes" either. It's all the time.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
We just got into some light bondage but I've always enjoyed being spanked or having my hair pulled. My partner likes causing me some light "pain" but outside of sex, he'd never hurt me.
10/15/2012
Contributor: Passion plum Passion plum
Light bondage and spanking sometimes with a belt or flogger.
01/31/2013
Contributor: happywaffle34 happywaffle34
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
Bondage, domination/submission, pain play of all kinds. We simply do not get it. Not at all. Sorry. Just being honest.
We are into all kinds of sex, for fun, for bonding, for pleasure. We don't get the "pain equals pleasure" thing. ... more
sometimes i like burning and spanking
01/31/2013
Contributor: Sweet-n-Playful Sweet-n-Playful
Bondage/domination play isn't always about serious pain. Just FYI. I enjoy some BDSM play and that doesn't mean I orgasm from hitting myself with a hammer.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Sweet-n-Playful Sweet-n-Playful
Quote:
Originally posted by Geogeo
love pain equals pleasure, not sure why
The pain center in the brain is right next to the pleasure center in the brain
01/31/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Yep, mild to moderate is fun
02/01/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
I want to, and I'm trying to mentally get my wife to where she's comfortable trying it.
02/03/2013
Contributor: Cowgirl-Cutie Cowgirl-Cutie
We play a lot
02/03/2013