I chose "I masturbate, why should my partner be denied this pleasure?" But I am a lot like Spicing It Up I do feel sometimes that I am a let down or not able to pleasure him like he wants when he does masturbate, as well as the porn that he watches completely adds to the resentment. Especially when he mainly does it when he gets home from work before I do, then when I turn on the computer with his porn site still up and I say something, he gets defensive. I understand that everyone needs personal time and masturbation is normal and healthy to do, but I still get that annoyed feeling for the simple fact I am always ready to go so why would he feel he needs to masturbate when all he has to do is ask? Meh....
Masturbation and partner resentment.
11/19/2009
Quote:
He's getting defensive my guess is because you make him feel like he's done something wrong. Why not change your response when you find porn? How about asking to watch it with him and masterbate together? I don't pretend to know much about the subject but can say early in my marriage it bothered me. Over time I started to understand the more my husband masterbated the longer he had control with me.
Originally posted by
~miss.heather~
I chose "I masturbate, why should my partner be denied this pleasure?" But I am a lot like Spicing It Up I do feel sometimes that I am a let down or not able to pleasure him like he wants when he does masturbate, as well as the porn that he
...
more
I chose "I masturbate, why should my partner be denied this pleasure?" But I am a lot like Spicing It Up I do feel sometimes that I am a let down or not able to pleasure him like he wants when he does masturbate, as well as the porn that he watches completely adds to the resentment. Especially when he mainly does it when he gets home from work before I do, then when I turn on the computer with his porn site still up and I say something, he gets defensive. I understand that everyone needs personal time and masturbation is normal and healthy to do, but I still get that annoyed feeling for the simple fact I am always ready to go so why would he feel he needs to masturbate when all he has to do is ask? Meh....
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11/20/2009
I encourage him to masturbate! I love to watch, but I think it's good for him in general and don't mind at all if he does it while I'm not around.
He had some hangups about masturbation from when he was younger, so in the way that we encourage females to masturbate to get to know their bodies better, I encourage him. Plus, it's good for prostate health!
He had some hangups about masturbation from when he was younger, so in the way that we encourage females to masturbate to get to know their bodies better, I encourage him. Plus, it's good for prostate health!
11/20/2009
Quote:
True, I probably do come across bitchy about it, which is not my intent, I think he gets defense because he knows it's upsets me or bothers me and doesn't want me to feel that way. And its not even the fact that he has done it its more the porn that he watches. We do watch porn together, and masturbate together, but his taste for porn is completely different than mine, but then again who am I to decide or tell him what porn he should prefer or watch. I appreciate your input, guess this is one of the things I need to work on, sometimes I let my emotions act before I think about how the reaction will come across. Thanks!!!!
Originally posted by
Heather
He's getting defensive my guess is because you make him feel like he's done something wrong. Why not change your response when you find porn? How about asking to watch it with him and masterbate together? I don't pretend to know much
...
more
He's getting defensive my guess is because you make him feel like he's done something wrong. Why not change your response when you find porn? How about asking to watch it with him and masterbate together? I don't pretend to know much about the subject but can say early in my marriage it bothered me. Over time I started to understand the more my husband masterbated the longer he had control with me.
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11/20/2009
I don't resent it as long as he includes me. I've told him that, and we have phone sex when it's possible, since we are local-long distance (his family keeps me away). But I've tried to make it clear to him that when we do live together it's something I'd like to do together as well. It's rare for me to not be in the mood, anyways, and since he's younger than me I anticipate him being a bit over-eager. I just hope it doesnt wear off.
I've jokingly told him like, minimal sex requirements per day or per week and he gets shocked by how much I think I would want it. I dont think he comprehends how fast sex is (usually) yet since he's still a virgin. Maybe I'll get some fluke and he'll fuck me for hours though, who knows.
I've jokingly told him like, minimal sex requirements per day or per week and he gets shocked by how much I think I would want it. I dont think he comprehends how fast sex is (usually) yet since he's still a virgin. Maybe I'll get some fluke and he'll fuck me for hours though, who knows.
11/20/2009
ordinaryak
I feel sad when my Boyfriend Masterbates simply becuase i have neve ener in 5 years turned him down when he wanted sex even if im not feeling good i will go down on him or use my hands. we have an array of toys for him aswell. and it makes me sad sometiems becuase soemdays he will not be intrested in sex and go off to masterbate
02/15/2010
Inkblot
I voted that I prefer he not do it without me, but mainly because I have the higher sex drive and am ALWAYS willing. For him to masturbate without letting me know he's in the mood would be a sign that something is wrong, to me, because he's only interested once a month or so as it is. (And no, he's not getting it elsewhere. LOL)
02/15/2010
The only thing I complain about is that he tries to do it around the time I'm fertile, and I have almost broken him of this habit. I told him he can do it any other time of the month, but he must abstain during my fertile period.
02/16/2010
Babkin
Quote:
Re masturbation and pregnancy it has been shown that sperm older than 7 days starts to develop abnormalities, therefore frequent masturbation is necessary for healthy sperm production which is thought to be the reason men on average masturbate more than women.
Originally posted by
Liz2
Many women enjoy masturbation both alone and with a partner, their partners probably masturbate alone as well. How do you women of the EF community feel about your partner masturbating w/o you?
02/24/2010
Quote:
I have always been fine with my husband masturbating. My only "peeve" is if I'm at home and he doesn't bother to see if I'd be interested in playing, haha.
Originally posted by
Liz2
Many women enjoy masturbation both alone and with a partner, their partners probably masturbate alone as well. How do you women of the EF community feel about your partner masturbating w/o you?
02/25/2010
I guess I love to masterbate and use my toys. I just dont like doing it by myself. My husband has had a few phisical problems and he beats himself up enough as it is that he cant make me orgasm. Its even worse when he knows ime going into the other room to get an orgasm from a toy. It doesnt help that he feels bad ejectulating and me not having my fun, so its hard. He cares so much, and just wants me to be happy.
He sais its ok if I go masterbate and that I should. He has said a few times I should go play with my best friend, who we would have ausome threesomes with. Shes a ausome girl but I cant get horny when I know hes in the other room upset. He sais its ok but I know its not i his mind.
He sais its ok if I go masterbate and that I should. He has said a few times I should go play with my best friend, who we would have ausome threesomes with. Shes a ausome girl but I cant get horny when I know hes in the other room upset. He sais its ok but I know its not i his mind.
09/09/2010
My man actually gets jealous of my toys sometimes It's like he feels like it's competition.. I told him I would get him something. I don't care if he does it, as long as he isn't sleeping with other people and he can still give me what I need I have no problem what he does. Those are my only two requests of him. Maybe I will get him a toy as a present... since he seems nervous to buy his own. Sometimes he gets in the mood to play with me, but I think if he had his own then it would be more fun for both of us.
09/09/2010
Quote:
That is very true. I don't know what I would do if he watched a lot of porn.. that stuff makes me self conscious sometimes.
Originally posted by
~miss.heather~
I chose "I masturbate, why should my partner be denied this pleasure?" But I am a lot like Spicing It Up I do feel sometimes that I am a let down or not able to pleasure him like he wants when he does masturbate, as well as the porn that he
...
more
I chose "I masturbate, why should my partner be denied this pleasure?" But I am a lot like Spicing It Up I do feel sometimes that I am a let down or not able to pleasure him like he wants when he does masturbate, as well as the porn that he watches completely adds to the resentment. Especially when he mainly does it when he gets home from work before I do, then when I turn on the computer with his porn site still up and I say something, he gets defensive. I understand that everyone needs personal time and masturbation is normal and healthy to do, but I still get that annoyed feeling for the simple fact I am always ready to go so why would he feel he needs to masturbate when all he has to do is ask? Meh....
less
09/09/2010
I seem to have different views on this subject than most people on here. I'm not stuck in the middle, but I'm not really okay with it. My husband and I both have a mutual agreement, that if we're going to masturbate alone, we discuss it first and make sure it's okay with the other person and share details afterwards. We both agree that if we don't do this, it's more like hiding it. We don't want each other feeling not wanted or whatever. We don't usually masturbate alone anyways. It's only when one of us is away from home for some reason or another for an extended period of time. Any other time we masturbate in front of each other, as foreplay, or it's just sex.
That's just my opinion and the way our marriage works, so that's what we do.
That's just my opinion and the way our marriage works, so that's what we do.
09/09/2010
he would not leave me alone if i didn't let him
09/11/2010
Quote:
I totally agree with you here. If I'm not involved with the porn, I don't like to be in the room when my man is whacking off.. plus he feels like I'm "watching him" and gets all self conscious.
Originally posted by
Carrie Ann
Most times I'm totally cool with it. I DO prefer that if he's going to watch porn and jerk off (without me included) that he do it when I"m not around so as not to make me feel icky.
I also tend to get a little pissy if he ... more
I also tend to get a little pissy if he ... more
Most times I'm totally cool with it. I DO prefer that if he's going to watch porn and jerk off (without me included) that he do it when I"m not around so as not to make me feel icky.
I also tend to get a little pissy if he chooses to masturbate too many days in a row INSTEAD of fucking. My self esteem hits the shitter.
Not that I don't "get it". I do. Sometimes I'd rather just rub one off quick, too. But logically getting it and not feeling hurt don't always go together as they should.
It's definitely way less of a problem than it used to be.
We age, we grow, I guess. less
I also tend to get a little pissy if he chooses to masturbate too many days in a row INSTEAD of fucking. My self esteem hits the shitter.
Not that I don't "get it". I do. Sometimes I'd rather just rub one off quick, too. But logically getting it and not feeling hurt don't always go together as they should.
It's definitely way less of a problem than it used to be.
We age, we grow, I guess. less
And I can completely relate with the self-esteem thing.. it tends to hurt my feelings and make me a bit hostile if my man jerks off too much and forgets about my needs because he's already spent.
It's less of an issue when we're in our own place.. but since we're at my parent's house between apartments, he tends to give himself more lovin that me, mostly out of respect for my parents. I understand, but I still have needs, dammit! lol.
09/11/2010
We're long distance so he has to at times.
09/12/2010
Quote:
i don't mind if he does with out me. sometimes i even help him thru txts if i know he is.
Originally posted by
Liz2
Many women enjoy masturbation both alone and with a partner, their partners probably masturbate alone as well. How do you women of the EF community feel about your partner masturbating w/o you?
09/12/2010
I never understood why someone gets jealous over their partner masturbating, so long as they still have intimate time together.
We have kids too, so time together is rare and it's often easier for either of us to sneak off and masturbate quickly.
We have kids too, so time together is rare and it's often easier for either of us to sneak off and masturbate quickly.
09/16/2010
Quote:
I think it's wonderful that you guys found a way that works for you, I mean, every relationship is different in how they do it and this way of yours obviously works for you guys. I think its great and there is nothing wrong with that!
Originally posted by
sexysweetieshan
I seem to have different views on this subject than most people on here. I'm not stuck in the middle, but I'm not really okay with it. My husband and I both have a mutual agreement, that if we're going to masturbate alone, we discuss it
...
more
I seem to have different views on this subject than most people on here. I'm not stuck in the middle, but I'm not really okay with it. My husband and I both have a mutual agreement, that if we're going to masturbate alone, we discuss it first and make sure it's okay with the other person and share details afterwards. We both agree that if we don't do this, it's more like hiding it. We don't want each other feeling not wanted or whatever. We don't usually masturbate alone anyways. It's only when one of us is away from home for some reason or another for an extended period of time. Any other time we masturbate in front of each other, as foreplay, or it's just sex.
That's just my opinion and the way our marriage works, so that's what we do. less
That's just my opinion and the way our marriage works, so that's what we do. less
11/25/2010
Quote:
We get self-conscious as you put it. Both he and I, when the other is present during the session.
Originally posted by
Not here
I totally agree with you here. If I'm not involved with the porn, I don't like to be in the room when my man is whacking off.. plus he feels like I'm "watching him" and gets all self conscious.
And I can completely relate ... more
And I can completely relate ... more
I totally agree with you here. If I'm not involved with the porn, I don't like to be in the room when my man is whacking off.. plus he feels like I'm "watching him" and gets all self conscious.
And I can completely relate with the self-esteem thing.. it tends to hurt my feelings and make me a bit hostile if my man jerks off too much and forgets about my needs because he's already spent.
It's less of an issue when we're in our own place.. but since we're at my parent's house between apartments, he tends to give himself more lovin that me, mostly out of respect for my parents. I understand, but I still have needs, dammit! lol. less
And I can completely relate with the self-esteem thing.. it tends to hurt my feelings and make me a bit hostile if my man jerks off too much and forgets about my needs because he's already spent.
It's less of an issue when we're in our own place.. but since we're at my parent's house between apartments, he tends to give himself more lovin that me, mostly out of respect for my parents. I understand, but I still have needs, dammit! lol. less
My guy wacks off at least once a day, especially when I am in school or away for some reason. He will not tell me unless I ask him. I hate it though, if he masturbates in the same day that we have sex (unless its a little quickie) bcs he stays hard for a shorter amount of time and I need hi mto be hard long enough foe me to get pleasure out of the whole thing.
He has never, to my recollection, ever masturbated when I was availble to enjoy sexual pleasures with him. He much rather we do something together than be alone, unless I was not in the mood.
When I am not in the mood its such a release for me to know he can just go wack off. We're so funny, if either one of us isn't in the mood we're like "well you could masturbate...just go and masturbate". Often times I would rather have him close to me than be masturbating alone.
11/25/2010
Quote:
i found my hubby last longer after masturbating...bonus!!
Originally posted by
Liz2
Many women enjoy masturbation both alone and with a partner, their partners probably masturbate alone as well. How do you women of the EF community feel about your partner masturbating w/o you?
11/25/2010
I encourage it and he encourages me. It keeps the home fires burning.
I am surprised at some of the responses here. Everyone should be allowed to self-love on occasion or as often as they want so long as it doesn't interfere with regular activities. I have completely different orgasms when I masturbate than when he uses his hands or tongue on me and I'm sure it's the same for him.
I am surprised at some of the responses here. Everyone should be allowed to self-love on occasion or as often as they want so long as it doesn't interfere with regular activities. I have completely different orgasms when I masturbate than when he uses his hands or tongue on me and I'm sure it's the same for him.
11/25/2010
My partner never really wishes to masturbate without me. She'll call me or text me or wait until I'm able to do it with her. If she ever does masturbate without me, she wants me to be there to watch or hear it.
12/06/2011
I encourage it with him, as long as it doesn't take away potential for sex with me. I still have hangups about masturbation, but he is a doll and encourages it endlessly.
12/06/2011
He gets more sex when I masturbate, so he's learned not to be resentful.
I wish I could watch him more often but he only wants to masturbate when I'm dead-tired or asleep.
I wish I could watch him more often but he only wants to masturbate when I'm dead-tired or asleep.
12/06/2011
Doesnt bother me at all. I don't see why it should?
12/06/2011
My partner enjoys staying in chastity.
12/06/2011
My guy only masturbates once in a blue moon. I'm glad he doesn't do it all the time and that it in no way interferes with us but I do think it's hot if he'll do it when I'm with him. He's only let me see him twice solo.
12/08/2011
My guy only masturbates once in a blue moon. I'm glad he doesn't do it all the time and that it in no way interferes with us but I do think it's hot if he'll do it when I'm with him. He's only let me see him twice solo.
12/08/2011