Multiple partners...

I'm writing this and I know you all need the whole story but it's long. Breaking it down a little. I have borderline personality disorder. I have not been the best to my boyfriend. I've blown up our house multiple times and I have always ran back to my ex-husband. So I cheated on my boyfriend. He in turn has also cheated. I found where he talks to millions of people dirty raw sexual. I also have concrete evidence he cheated in August. So I have to ask, has anyone ever been basically make to say ok to having sex with multiple partners, that's ALL he talks about. Always looking for the next adventure. We had a weekend of amazing rough sex. I asked to take a break on Monday because I was sore. He made me feel like I was the biggest let down, I was super sore. Tuesday night we had bball night sedation, but no anal because I now have hemorrhoids because of the weekend and being rough. He wants to invite 2 dudes over and the 3 would have their way with me, very rough anal, vaginal, mouth. I told him it's super hot and I really want to but I can't because I am not healed up. He's upset again, because I am controlling his sex life by not agreeing to it. I'm not as sexual as him by far so I don't like it have sex with multiple strangers so I have told him no a lot. I'm not sure what I even have to ask, I'm kinda venting. Looking for advice on this crazy mess I am in. Thanks in advance for your support.