I've had so much phone sex in my life that I just wore myself out and got tired of it.I started not getting anything out of it.There use to be these chatlines I would call and sometimes I would have phone sex with random guys.They were weird.They wanted me to come on command and half the time I don't even think they were masturbating.
I haven't done much sexting I'm not much of a texter anyway. less

We've never had phone sex (yet) but do our fair share of sexting. It's actually a lot of fun when we're apart and sometimes leads to some hot sex when we finally see each other. I think it is probably a lot like 'real' sex, in the sense that it can be fufulling, empty, or anywhere in-between. less

That can happen when you're both in the bedroom, too, no? Granted, when you're in person, you get better feedback about whether what you're doing is working or not, provided you're paying attention. While maybe a little harder to read, response at the other end of the phone, or lack thereof, will tell whether your partner is enjoying the experience or not. If you're waiting 15 minutes for a reply to your sext - and then it's "lol", you're probably not setting your partner afire. Or, as is often my case, she's in the middle of the grocery store and dropping her jeans for a quick rub isn't quite as appealing as it might be otherwise. It's possible your partner may simply not get anything from phonesex or sexting, same as s/he may not get anything from certain things you try under the sheets. If you're worried she's faking on the phone, you're probably going to worry about that in the sack, too. Sex is sex. Things can go right or wrong, no matter how you choose to do it. less

I see what you're getting at. In my case, my partner's excitement is the thing that turns me on most, so I'm rarely in that situation. Would I do something she wants, even if it does little for me? Absolutely. Neither of us would fake it for the other though. We learned a long time ago that only results in hurting your partner in many ways. When our wants don't quite align, we get around that by having his and her sessions. This time is all about her, next time is for me. All within our limits - neither of us ever expects the other to go outside of their hard boundaries. In that case, we just let it go.

Of course, mixed in-between are plenty of 'us' sessions. less