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What is the worst sex advice you were ever given by a teacher or a parent?

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Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Related to: 
Close Your Eyes and Think of England, and Other Cases of Sex Mis-education
In this morning's article on SexIs: Close Your Eyes and Think of England, and Other Cases of Sex Mis-education Tucker Cummings talks about some of the worst sex advice that people have been given through the ages.

Have you ever heard any of the ones that Tucker mentioned before? What was the worst advice you were given?
05/04/2011
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Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Not by my parent or teacher, but:

"It doesn't matter if you're in the mood or not. If your husband is, either have sex with him or help him out in some way so he knows that you are there EVERY TIME he needs you and that way he won't cheat."

I mean, seriously? If I have no desire to have sex or to be sexual in any way, I should just do it anyway? How about, "Hey, honey, here's a Tenga... go have fun!"

Now don't get me wrong, I do try and get in the mood when my husband is; but there are times where it's just not happening. I'm sensitive to my husband's needs, but likewise, he should be sensitive to mine as well. I shouldn't do something that I'm not going to enjoy, especially under the pretense of "If you don't, he'll stray because you're not 'there for him.'" If someone's going to stray, they'll stray regardless of whether you're putting out or not.
05/04/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
That one had some doozies!

I think the worst one I heard was "If she does jumping jacks right after, she can't get pregnant."
05/04/2011
Contributor: missystarrk missystarrk
here are two golden pieces of advice:

i was having a discussion with my mother...i told her i was really in need of sex and non platonic encouragement...my mother told me i should try and concentrate on my children...that would help...oh and that sex really isnt a big deal in a marriage...

if you let someone play with your breasts a lot...they get bigger...really?(cowor ker)
05/04/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by missystarrk
here are two golden pieces of advice:



i was having a discussion with my mother...i told her i was really in need of sex and non platonic encouragement...my mother told me i should try and concentrate on my children...that would ... more
*snort* if that last one were true, I'd have breasts down to my knees.
05/04/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
That one had some doozies!



I think the worst one I heard was "If she does jumping jacks right after, she can't get pregnant."
That's similar to the one I heard from a friend, which was one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. She believed that the Coca-Cola douche used after sex would actually keep you from getting preggers. We had a long talk after that one. It's not from a teacher or parent but still very bad advice.
05/04/2011
Contributor: socceras socceras
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Not by my parent or teacher, but:



"It doesn't matter if you're in the mood or not. If your husband is, either have sex with him or help him out in some way so he knows that you are there EVERY TIME he needs you and that ... more
holy crap i would slap that person
05/04/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I'd only heard the ones from Cracked before, but from reading them online, not actually hearing them.
05/04/2011