The New Intimacy

Do women like toys to be hard or start with something soft first?

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Contributor: markeagleone markeagleone
Do women like things to start out like a guy or do they want to enjoy a slow work up? I wanted a cross section of opinions to better know my partner.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
start slow and soft
xMila , DeliciousSurprise , Destri , removedacnt , potstickers , zracer , *HisMrs* , Alan & Michele , Gallowraven , DustBunny , RemusHalifax , darthkitt3n , the other jo , Tart , Lithaewyn , yw2 , Adriana Ravenlust , Rossie , onehotmama , Wyo Daisy , Eucaly , daniel and frances , lexical , PassionQT , Ava5 , sarki , Ryuson , Jenyana , Puss in Boots , Nothere , cheetahpita , Bignuf , K101 , humpday , sweetpea12 , Sohotdinosaur , Allison.Wilder , Heatherbipoly , ghalik , treefrog88 , MistressDandelion , sweet&lush , Maleah
43
jump right into it
Coralbell , Kim! , Xavier7 , PinkPedal , Seharra , PiratePrincess , Miss Anonymous , CherryDyke , CoffeeCup , ChubbyNerd , dawnkye
11
a mix of both
Woman China , Gunsmoke , potstickers , Darling Jen , LikeSunshineDust , Airekah , Angel deSanguine , danellejohns , ellejay , Lady Marmelade , RemusHalifax , Sammi , I Wear The Pants , Carrie Ann , P'Gell , Miss Madeline , SexyTabby , zeebot , Mistress M. , phunkyphreak , toxie m , mikebooks , aBeastlyLittleThing , dv8 , Skitlz , *Ashley* , sixfootsex , purplekidney , MaryExy , Janis , kelaaa33wish , Rossie , Retro , kinksters , cujo467 , Ms. Spice , Ashley:) , Rin (aka Nire) , ms.anon , playtimeohsofun , lexical , Starkiller87 , swf , VampKitty , The Curious Couple , ToyGurl , brittany8612 , Miss Anonymous , DixieDoo , KittenPrincess , BellaDonna2884 , SiNn , snowbumbunnie , lacybutton , Ash1141 , AndroAngel , eroticmutt , LQ , RevekaRoux , Stagger13 , emilia , Kahlen , Hibangel , geliebt , Breas , leelee , pinkpottergirl , Passion plum , sweetpea12 , mmmmm , Allison.Wilder , Heatherbipoly , ghalik , BG529 , BlooJay , thornrose , jennifur77 , LoveBug721 , KrissyNovacaine , remember.me , edeneve
81
Total votes: 135 (126 voters)
Poll is closed
01/16/2011
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Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
Personally speaking, sensations are such that starting fast and hard makes softer touches less effective afterward. So a build up is much nicer.
01/17/2011
Contributor: RubenesqueAna RubenesqueAna
If you wanna know your partner better, I say you ask him or her, not us.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by RubenesqueAna
If you wanna know your partner better, I say you ask him or her, not us.
Agreed.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Variety is more important than anything else. I'm inclined to start slowly and warm her up - but sometimes she just wants to go hard right away. Avoid the rut - mix it up - watch her body language.

For my wife, if she's a little preoccupied or reluctant the slow approach is best - but if it's Friday night and we both know it's going to be hot - it's crushed lips, torn clothes, nips, bites, fingers, dildos and vibes - in one fast blur of action.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Airekah Airekah
Quote:
Originally posted by RubenesqueAna
If you wanna know your partner better, I say you ask him or her, not us.
Agreed, it is very important to talk to your partner and see what he/she likes, because everyone likes different things.
01/17/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Quote:
Originally posted by Airekah
Agreed, it is very important to talk to your partner and see what he/she likes, because everyone likes different things.
I also agree that you should just ask.
01/17/2011
Contributor: danellejohns danellejohns
I personally would say it depends on the mood I am in at the time. Some nights Soft and slow is preferable. Other time the rougher the better.
01/18/2011
Contributor: Gallowraven Gallowraven
I would have preffered something soft to start, but I didn't have that option.
01/27/2011
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
It really depends on my mood, but more often than not, I like things to start slowly at first. It puts me more at ease.
02/02/2011
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Ahhh, mood makes all the difference.

Most times I'd rather a quicky but, ya know, at least SOME foreplay.
02/03/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
It's different every time. There are days when I am just not in the mood for a really hard toy like a hard plastic G Spot toy. Other times, My Man will just jump in with whatever he grabs and it's fun.

I do usually like to play and get wet before he grabs a toy and jams it in, though. He usually "tests the waters" with his fingers before using a toy.
02/03/2011
Contributor: Mistress M. Mistress M.
I think depends on who it is. Everyone has days where they want it hard, or they want it soft. Probably just good to communicate.
02/13/2011
Contributor: phunkyphreak phunkyphreak
I think it would vary and depend on the person. I like things both ways-
03/03/2011
Contributor: *Ashley* *Ashley*
I choose a mix of both. It always depends. I suggest you just talk to her about it. Only she knows what she likes best.
03/18/2011
Contributor: purplekidney purplekidney
Depends on the mood. If we're going at it in the shower, it's gotta be quick or we'll end up in a cold shower and I friggen hate being cold. If we're anywhere else, we take it slow.
04/09/2011
Contributor: Lithaewyn Lithaewyn
Build up is incredibly important. If my husband were to just start fucking me without any sort of foreplay, well that's just not going to go over well. Granted, some situations call for less foreplay than others.
04/09/2011
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
In general, I don't much like hard toys these days
04/14/2011
Contributor: Retro Retro
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Do women like things to start out like a guy or do they want to enjoy a slow work up? I wanted a cross section of opinions to better know my partner.
I saw both. too hard can be painful and too soft not good enough, atleast for me
05/27/2011
Contributor: SexyLilPixi SexyLilPixi
Quote:
Originally posted by phunkyphreak
I think it would vary and depend on the person. I like things both ways-
Yep. For me personally, with material things at least, variety is the spice of life.
05/27/2011
Contributor: kinksters kinksters
depends on the toy & it's use
05/27/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Do women like things to start out like a guy or do they want to enjoy a slow work up? I wanted a cross section of opinions to better know my partner.
Start soft and slow and build up your momentum. I like both it just depends on my mood at the time.
05/27/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
it depends on the mood. sometimes starting hard is perfect and sometimes soft is good
06/13/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Do women like things to start out like a guy or do they want to enjoy a slow work up? I wanted a cross section of opinions to better know my partner.
Anything too overwhelming at first really makes me lose interest.
06/16/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
Do women like things to start out like a guy or do they want to enjoy a slow work up? I wanted a cross section of opinions to better know my partner.
I think it depends on the woman. Although some days I like it hard and fast, I really need a slow build up to climax.
06/16/2011
Contributor: playtimeohsofun playtimeohsofun
Quote:
Originally posted by RubenesqueAna
If you wanna know your partner better, I say you ask him or her, not us.
100% agree
07/15/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
I start with something softer
08/01/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Personally, start softer!
08/01/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
It's somewhere in between for my fiancee and I.
08/01/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
mix of both
08/04/2011