Stereotype discussion: Threesomes

The New Intimacy

Stereotype discussion: Threesomes

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Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
I'm curious how many bisexual people out there do not like threesomes. I don't *hate* them, but I find them fairly boring, and I would definitely not go out of my way to seek one out. I prefer intimate connection with a singular person at one time. I'd have to already be emotionally connected to both people in some way to really enjoy it. And even still, it's a little less personal, and therefore more boring to me. Call me self-centered if you wish, lol.

The poll is three-part, by the way. Answering the question, then sexuality, then gender. I'm curious about this!
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have tried and enjoy threesomes.
90
I have tried and do not enjoy threesomes.
22
I have never tried and am curious about threesomes.
122
I have never tried and never want to try a threesome.
53
Other answer.
8
I am heterosexual.
67
I am homosexual.
16
I am bisexual.
138
Other sexuality.
54
I am male.
55
I am female.
163
I am FtM.
17
I am MtF.
1
Other gender.
18
Total votes: 824 (302 voters)
Poll is closed
06/15/2011
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Contributor: curmudgeoncat curmudgeoncat
I've been in one threesome, where I was the center of attention. It was a lot of fun for me. I didn't find it boring at all, but I had been fantasizing about positions and things to try for a while beforehand. Currently I'm in a sexually satisfying relationship and trying to seek out those unicorn women that want threesomes with couples, but haven't found any that both my partner and I are interested in.
06/15/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I answered: Other, Hetero, and Female.

The reason I answered 'other' is because I didn't not enjoy the threesome experience but I have a serious, emotionally damaging hatred for one of the people involved at the time. It was something more of a triad with a lot of backstabbing, lies, lies and more lies on all of our parts but the largest betrayal came from her side of the camp. (She told me she wasn't a virgin and when the guy involved revealed that she was VERY much a virgin, I was SHATTERED. I had fallen head over heels for him and I wasn't a virgin when we met. I felt deep shame and many other emotions and thought I'd never be good enough. I was also sixteen at the time.)

I think it's something everyone should do (with both sexes) at least twice in their lifetime, but I don't think it's something I'm interested in doing again. I will have sex with both men and women, but my romantic preference is 100% male and I prefer one on one contact.

After a very long stint of only having sex with each other, my husband and I invited a man over to our home, where they proceeded to perform oral sex on each other. It was a less than perfect experience (the guy had taken a couple of xanax and had what pretty much equated to coke dick and couldn't get hard). It was hot to see and we may do it again in the future, but we're not beating down Craigslist to make it happen.

I'll go down on a woman while he watches and he'll go down on a guy while I watch, but I don't think he's interested in having sex with that woman and I know I'm not interested in having sex with that man.
06/15/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
iveversxe, I'm just glad you realize women who are interested in BOTH parties are 'unicorns' indeed. xD I have never met a couple seeking threesomes that I found both of which attractive. And I straight up say it to them since they had asked me. "I'd fuck her, but not you."xD

Sapphire; I'm sorry you had that experience, it sounds terrible. D: Communication and honesty are key in any relationship, especially those which are in some way open. (I'm in a polyamorous situation myself.)

I'm glad to say I've had the experience, and I sort of wonder how different an orgy would be, I think I might prefer it to just threesomes. I suppose I feel like threesomes pretend to be personal but really are not, while orgies are honest about their spontaneous random emotionless sex. xD
06/15/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
I'm curious how many bisexual people out there do not like threesomes. I don't *hate* them, but I find them fairly boring, and I would definitely not go out of my way to seek one out. I prefer intimate connection with a singular person at one ... more
I love intimacy with one person too, but sometimes it's fun with more too.
06/15/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
my boy and i have been talkin about a threesome for a while. the conversations have started and all been initiated by him... and his desire for it. he knows i'm bi and have had sex with girls, and he fantasizes about me with girls. it gets to the point where he can only get off sometimes if i tell him stories about me with other girls, be they real or made up. i feel uncomfortable about it sometimes and will tell him... it feels like cheating.


i HAVE however half-heartedly searched for a girl i'd be comfortable approaching about the subject, and be interested in, however, i'm shy and picky as fuck so we shall see what happens. i'm also quite the jealous type... so as i've been warned, the whole 3some idea may end up a disaster if ever pulled out of the world of fantasy land only.


be careful, that is my advice.
06/15/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by curmudgeoncat
I've been in one threesome, where I was the center of attention. It was a lot of fun for me. I didn't find it boring at all, but I had been fantasizing about positions and things to try for a while beforehand. Currently I'm in a sexually ... more
LOL Looking for that elusive Unicorn! I don't envy you but at the same time it's a great experience looking for her.

I LOVE being the center of a loving threeway but not so much a casual encounter. There is nothing quite like being with two other people who are excited to be there and love the stuffing out of you...in all the right ways!
06/15/2011
Contributor: Kdlips Kdlips
fun for me
06/15/2011
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
I'm curious how many bisexual people out there do not like threesomes. I don't *hate* them, but I find them fairly boring, and I would definitely not go out of my way to seek one out. I prefer intimate connection with a singular person at one ... more
three somes are fun but only ifthe thrid is someone u mutually loveandtrust does it work so while i enjoy then and im bisexual i very rarely have them with out our third
06/16/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
I enjoy them, provided I actually like the people involved. Otherwise it's just unappealing.
06/16/2011
Contributor: CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
I understad your comment about enjoying getting to know just one person. I was always like that (couldn't handle even going on dates with more than 1 person at a time etc...) But since I've been with my now-husband for 7years, we know each other pretty well. And have had some good threesomes and lousy ones.

We did find a unicorn though and boy it's been a fun year with her! And it feels fresh for us, getting to kow someone new and bringing them into our lives. Soo do what your comfortable with! You might like them after you've gotten to know your one partner for a time.
06/17/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
my boy and i have been talkin about a threesome for a while. the conversations have started and all been initiated by him... and his desire for it. he knows i'm bi and have had sex with girls, and he fantasizes about me with girls. it gets to the ... more
Dear god Alice, I worry about your relationship. That sounds horrible. I would never agree to a threesome for that reason, especially. D: *hugs* I hope that you don't.
06/20/2011
Contributor: AlaskanBeauty AlaskanBeauty
I am bi and never tried and don't wanna, it is kinda disgusting...
06/20/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by AlaskanBeauty
I am bi and never tried and don't wanna, it is kinda disgusting...
Win... :3 It pretty much is, I would agree...especially if a guy is pestering you into it or something....T__T
06/21/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
Dear god Alice, I worry about your relationship. That sounds horrible. I would never agree to a threesome for that reason, especially. D: *hugs* I hope that you don't.
oh no... don't be worrying! i promise we're honestly pretty healthy together in most ways...


but i guess when it comes down to it honestly it would only ever turn me on because it turns him on, which isnt a bad reason to be turned on about something (Thats how we started anal sex and now i dig it)


sigh.



thanks for a little wakeup i knew about deep down. its just a desire for him to be happy, you know? but when it comes down to it i dont think i could ever do it. it could ruin it all. i have a big fear of cheating and being cheated on and this doesnt help that.

but thank god for you guys to talk this shit out with!
06/23/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I'd love to experience a 3some!
06/23/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
I have had two threesomes, one with two girls, and one with a guy and a girl. It was fun, but not as exciting as I thought. It was more of a "I have to try it before I die" kind of thing.
06/23/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
oh no... don't be worrying! i promise we're honestly pretty healthy together in most ways...


but i guess when it comes down to it honestly it would only ever turn me on because it turns him on, which isnt a bad reason to be turned ... more
Well I'll always be around to give people a virtual wake-up-slap. LOL. I think I do it out of love, or maybe just bitterness because not a lot of the people I desire ever sleep with me since I have emotions for women and not just lust alone. ~.~
06/27/2011
Contributor: lzbncrckhead lzbncrckhead
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
I'm curious how many bisexual people out there do not like threesomes. I don't *hate* them, but I find them fairly boring, and I would definitely not go out of my way to seek one out. I prefer intimate connection with a singular person at one ... more
i am very interested in a three way with two other females
07/01/2011
Contributor: anonomous anonomous
If I'm with someone they are mine and no one else. Plus what I saw its never really a good idea to do it when your in a real relationship with someone, My friend (guy) decided to allow his friend (another guy) have a threesome with his gf and after that she was going out with the friend. I bet that was his biggest regret lol
07/05/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL Looking for that elusive Unicorn! I don't envy you but at the same time it's a great experience looking for her.

I LOVE being the center of a loving threeway but not so much a casual encounter. There is nothing quite like being ... more
I think that I would be more into a non-casual threesome as well.
07/05/2011
Contributor: Crichton Crichton
I want to have a threesome so badly, but I'm off and on allowing my boyfriend to have sex with another woman. Sometimes I find it sexy to think of him bringing pleasure to another woman, but he knows I'm more wanting of another female's presence. He said he's happy just to watch, besides I know he isn't built for multiple encounters in one day. He tires out quickly and prefers to ejaculate with each session. I rather have a woman that lives far from him, but on the other hand if either party becomes interested in each other they will make it happen regardless of distance. After all my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and that is the main reason it hasn't happened yet. He can easy sneak around without me being the wiser if he so chooses.

It's funny because I do trust him, it's just me that has trust issues due to a bad break up prior to him.
07/19/2011
Contributor: Leaving Love Leaving Love
I have never tried and am curious about threesomes
07/23/2011
Contributor: thebest thebest
never tried, don't want to as long as i'm in a relationship
07/24/2011
Contributor: BlackxxxRose BlackxxxRose
I've been in two threesomes. My first was two other girls and myself and my second was my long term male partner, our girlfriend and myself. The first was awesome and I'd repeat it in a heartbeat. The second was awful and you couldn't pay myself or my partner to repeat it in a million years. We both like threesomes but we chose the wrong partner for the last one. We're hopeful about finding a better match and trying again in the future.
07/25/2011
Contributor: Booktease Booktease
My partner and I had a threesome after being together for a couple years. It didn't go so far as sex, but I still consider it a threesome. I also consider it a really horrible experience. The guy we chose was not a good guy and ended up hurting us both quite a bit. I was really upset for months after it happened and swore it would never happen again.

Its a year later now and we've talked about doing it again. I'm still not sure how I feel about it or if its something I would really be able to go through with. The first one was just so traumatic! There were a few good moments, a few really hot moments, but I'm not sure it was worth it. I love watching my partner interact with someone else while I'm touching her and I love the thrill of something some sort of risque and new, but I think you have to choose the person very, very carefully.

Just because its a threesome doesn't mean it isn't something big or special, and meant to be shared with the right person. I struggled with a lot of guilt after my first because I felt it wasn't something a 'good couple' did. I've finally gotten over that, but it makes me nervous to talk about it to people. Even my friends judged us for it and said that it isn't something 'married' people do. I didn't like feeling like my marriage was made somehow less in the eyes of others.

So... think about it first. A lot. Talk about it. Even more than you think about it. If you're doing it with a serious partner, definitely make sure you're on the same page. And don't be afraid, even at the last moment, to call a time out and regroup or even call it off completely. Its your choice and it remains yours until the very end. Do it together and be in it entirely together throughout the event, or don't do it at all.
08/01/2011
Contributor: DexterStratton DexterStratton
It's true. The other two involved really did not like one another much, and it made the experience pretty bad. I wouldn't do it again knowing what I do now, Hard to believe, maybe, but true.
08/01/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Tried and did not enjoy, male, open-minded when it comes to sexuality.
08/01/2011
Contributor: Ace <3 Ace <3
My girlfriend talks about having a threesome often. I just don't know if I'm into it... I do like my privacy with my girl because I like showing her just how much she means to me--and that she's the only one I want to be with. Including someone else on that intimate moment just seems inappropriate. I know she wants one, but after reading some of the other posts, now I'm a little torn in half on what to do...
08/20/2011
Contributor: buttmunch buttmunch
I am curious just because I think it would be interesting to try, but also I do think sex is much more special if you're with someone you care deeply about and not just for the pleasure of it, so I don't think I'd actually ever try it just for that reason alone. Also what if your partner thinks the other person in bed is better than you and leaves you for them? Also it seems like it's too much time management for sex you have to make sure everyone is enjoying the same amount and you don't want to neglect one person and make them mad.
09/02/2011