do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
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Can a woman be a lesbian if...
05/29/2012
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Relevant topic analysis on Lesbian Dildo:
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Anyone have any suggestions for REAL lesbian porn? I just hate watching straight girls fake it....
Lesbians! do you prefer toys or your own parts?
I'm curious as to what others think about this. My partner and I tend to have more loving sex without toys but we have more raw sex with them. When it
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05/29/2012
Quote:
Yes. People sometimes take some time to realize their sexuality. I also believe that sexuality is fluid, to a point.
Originally posted by
ginainohio
do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
05/29/2012
Quote:
Sure, I agree with PoP. Some women will experiment with men, or are actually somewhat attracted to men, only to realize or admit later that they prefer women as partners.
Originally posted by
ginainohio
do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
05/29/2012
Of course, sometimes it takes time to figure out who you really are and accept it.
05/29/2012
Yes. I was with men before I stopped lying to myself that I was much happier with a woman. Figuring yourself out takes time, and some trial & error in some cases.
05/29/2012
Firstly, anyone can call themselves ANYTHING if they want to. It is THEIR identity and it is not someone else's place to tell them what they can or cannot identity as.
Secondly, I think the answer to this is obvious and anyone who disagrees is a bit close-minded, I'm afraid to say. Of course a woman can be a lesbian if she's been with a man before. In this heteronormative world that we live in, it's highly unlikely for a completely gay individual to not have been with the opposite gender previously. We're told so often that "straight" is the norm and to stray from that is strange. So of course it's perfectly understandable for a gay individual to be with the opposite gender before they realize/accept that they're gay.
Secondly, I think the answer to this is obvious and anyone who disagrees is a bit close-minded, I'm afraid to say. Of course a woman can be a lesbian if she's been with a man before. In this heteronormative world that we live in, it's highly unlikely for a completely gay individual to not have been with the opposite gender previously. We're told so often that "straight" is the norm and to stray from that is strange. So of course it's perfectly understandable for a gay individual to be with the opposite gender before they realize/accept that they're gay.
05/29/2012
I don't identify myself as a lesbian, but I'm certainly not straight. I've never been with a woman (kissing and such, yes, but never had sex with a woman) and I know 100% that I would enjoy it. I feel like I can say with certainty that I'm at least bisexual, if not, pansexual. I really hate the labels though and just, usually, refer to myself as queer because I feel like no label really defines me.
Some would argue that since I've never had sex with a woman, that I can't know that I would like it, but I highly disagree with that statement.
Some would argue that since I've never had sex with a woman, that I can't know that I would like it, but I highly disagree with that statement.
05/29/2012
Of course! It took my aunts partner a few divorces with men, and a self realization to finally understand she was a lesbian.
05/29/2012
Of course. The label isn't based on who you've had sex with, but whomever you prefer in the present.
05/29/2012
Quote:
I would disagree that it is about who you prefer in the present. That would mean that everyone would either have to identify as either gay or straight based on the relationship they're currently in. I am definitely not straight and my sexual orientation is not for my husband (by way of my being married to him) to dictate.
Originally posted by
Claire-Bear
Of course. The label isn't based on who you've had sex with, but whomever you prefer in the present.
05/29/2012
Yep, definitely! People's understanding of their sexuality and choice of labels can change a lot over time. Also, since hetero relationships are so strongly presented as the norm socially and in media, it takes some people a long time to realize that they have other options and feel safe exploring them.
05/30/2012
Of course, yeah. I convinced myself I was straight for years so I dated guys, but that doesn't affect my gayness.
05/30/2012
Quote:
I do it, so yes. I hope pretending I was straight when I was a kid doesn't mean that I can't accept myself for who I am now.
Originally posted by
ginainohio
do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
05/30/2012
Thank you for all the feed back
06/02/2012
Society is different now... I grew up thinking (being taught) "you grow up marry a man then have babies and if you're REALLY strong you have a career too!" it was never an option in the thought process. So... >25yrs of marriage to a man and I realize one of the problems was I wasn't attracted to men. The romance that movies portrayed w/ men, yes. Men and sex, nope!
I've learned a lot about myself.
I've learned a lot about myself.
06/03/2012
Quote:
What a journey you've been on!
Originally posted by
Pleasure gal
Society is different now... I grew up thinking (being taught) "you grow up marry a man then have babies and if you're REALLY strong you have a career too!" it was never an option in the thought process. So... >25yrs of marriage to a
...
more
Society is different now... I grew up thinking (being taught) "you grow up marry a man then have babies and if you're REALLY strong you have a career too!" it was never an option in the thought process. So... >25yrs of marriage to a man and I realize one of the problems was I wasn't attracted to men. The romance that movies portrayed w/ men, yes. Men and sex, nope!
I've learned a lot about myself. less
I've learned a lot about myself. less
06/04/2012
Quote:
I agree, it shouldn't be dictated by who you're presently with.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
I would disagree that it is about who you prefer in the present. That would mean that everyone would either have to identify as either gay or straight based on the relationship they're currently in. I am definitely not straight and my sexual
...
more
I would disagree that it is about who you prefer in the present. That would mean that everyone would either have to identify as either gay or straight based on the relationship they're currently in. I am definitely not straight and my sexual orientation is not for my husband (by way of my being married to him) to dictate.
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06/04/2012
I figured out my sexuality WHILE in a relationship with a guy. He's my first and only relationship to date. I didn't wanna hurt him by ending the relationship, but at the same time it all made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't fun. But he actually initiated the break up since it'd be hard for us to be together while I'm in college. We're still best friends, thank Gawd, and he supports my new-found lifestyle. but my point is this; there's no deadline in life for figuring out one's sexuality. I've heard of people accepting it after years of marriage to someone else! I haven't "been" with a girl yet, mind you. Nonetheless, I can't deny it what my heart says!!
06/10/2012
Quote:
Well said!!
Originally posted by
KittyGoesRawr
I figured out my sexuality WHILE in a relationship with a guy. He's my first and only relationship to date. I didn't wanna hurt him by ending the relationship, but at the same time it all made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't fun. But he
...
more
I figured out my sexuality WHILE in a relationship with a guy. He's my first and only relationship to date. I didn't wanna hurt him by ending the relationship, but at the same time it all made me sick to my stomach. It wasn't fun. But he actually initiated the break up since it'd be hard for us to be together while I'm in college. We're still best friends, thank Gawd, and he supports my new-found lifestyle. but my point is this; there's no deadline in life for figuring out one's sexuality. I've heard of people accepting it after years of marriage to someone else! I haven't "been" with a girl yet, mind you. Nonetheless, I can't deny it what my heart says!!
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...it is incredible, but learn about your body first, what feels good how to pleasure yourself then you'll have a good place to start when she comes along.
06/12/2012
Quote:
i dont see y not my aunt does
Originally posted by
ginainohio
do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
06/12/2012
Quote:
Thanks, hon
Originally posted by
Pleasure gal
Well said!!
...it is incredible, but learn about your body first, what feels good how to pleasure yourself then you'll have a good place to start when she comes along.
...it is incredible, but learn about your body first, what feels good how to pleasure yourself then you'll have a good place to start when she comes along.
06/12/2012
Quote:
oh my god yes of course! a woman can also call herself gay if she was happy or enjoyed being in a relationship with a man. what you do =/ who you are, and who you are is not necessarily the same as the labels you apply to yourself anyway. sexuality is complicated and labels are oversimplifications; they're basically just a shorthand to explain to people what you want
Originally posted by
ginainohio
do you think woman can call them selves gay if they were in a relationship with a man before they were ever with a woman
06/15/2012
sure
06/24/2012
Sure why not
06/24/2012
Absolutely! They can call themselves what they want without repercussion from you,me or anyone else.
06/28/2012
Quote:
I disagree with this, actually. Who you prefer in the present =/= a relationship, it means whether you are CURRENTLY attracted to people of a certain gender. Most people don't completely stop being attracted to anyone else the moment they're in a relationship.
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
I would disagree that it is about who you prefer in the present. That would mean that everyone would either have to identify as either gay or straight based on the relationship they're currently in. I am definitely not straight and my sexual
...
more
I would disagree that it is about who you prefer in the present. That would mean that everyone would either have to identify as either gay or straight based on the relationship they're currently in. I am definitely not straight and my sexual orientation is not for my husband (by way of my being married to him) to dictate.
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I define myself as pansexual no matter who I'm in a relationship with, but that IS a label based on my current preference, not an attempt to define everything I've ever thought or felt about sexuality.
There are a lot of people who define themselves in different ways over the course of their lifetimes because sexuality is fluid. So saying that your current label is a representation of your current attractions and interests isn't about relationships; it's still just about what you feel at the moment.
In reference to the original question, I've known quite a few gay or lesbian folks who identified as straight and dated or married people of the opposite sex at some point. I've also known a lot of people who identified as either gay or straight and eventually realized they were bisexual, or vice versa. Things change, people change, situations change. So the labels we wear have to change too.
06/28/2012
life is long and boxes are small.
06/30/2012
Of course! Just because you tried something before doesn't mean it has to effect your label NOW, you can label yourself whatever you want
06/30/2012
Quote:
I think you misunderstood what I said, because I basically said the same thing, just much shorter. My point was that I'm in a straight relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm straight. If we were to dissolve our marriage and I were to get into a relationship with a woman, that wouldn't mean that I'm a lesbian, because I'm not a lesbian either. I don't really like to label myself, and I usually don't label myself to anyone, I just say that I'm attracted to people.
Originally posted by
lecanis
I disagree with this, actually. Who you prefer in the present =/= a relationship, it means whether you are CURRENTLY attracted to people of a certain gender. Most people don't completely stop being attracted to anyone else the moment they're
...
more
I disagree with this, actually. Who you prefer in the present =/= a relationship, it means whether you are CURRENTLY attracted to people of a certain gender. Most people don't completely stop being attracted to anyone else the moment they're in a relationship.
I define myself as pansexual no matter who I'm in a relationship with, but that IS a label based on my current preference, not an attempt to define everything I've ever thought or felt about sexuality.
There are a lot of people who define themselves in different ways over the course of their lifetimes because sexuality is fluid. So saying that your current label is a representation of your current attractions and interests isn't about relationships; it's still just about what you feel at the moment.
In reference to the original question, I've known quite a few gay or lesbian folks who identified as straight and dated or married people of the opposite sex at some point. I've also known a lot of people who identified as either gay or straight and eventually realized they were bisexual, or vice versa. Things change, people change, situations change. So the labels we wear have to change too. less
I define myself as pansexual no matter who I'm in a relationship with, but that IS a label based on my current preference, not an attempt to define everything I've ever thought or felt about sexuality.
There are a lot of people who define themselves in different ways over the course of their lifetimes because sexuality is fluid. So saying that your current label is a representation of your current attractions and interests isn't about relationships; it's still just about what you feel at the moment.
In reference to the original question, I've known quite a few gay or lesbian folks who identified as straight and dated or married people of the opposite sex at some point. I've also known a lot of people who identified as either gay or straight and eventually realized they were bisexual, or vice versa. Things change, people change, situations change. So the labels we wear have to change too. less
07/01/2012
Total posts: 43
Unique posters: 36
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