Sexualities of Trans Men

Contributor: Aries Aries
I'm wondering how many trans people have had the experience of identifying as lesbian but then becoming trans-male and feeling that their sexuality changed in some way- especially gaining an interest in men.

Please share your experiences with identifying with different sexualities.
03/02/2012
  • Save Extra 50% On Sexobot Attachment
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • Save 50% On Shower Nozzle With Enema Set
  • Enjoy 50% Off Selected Items
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: vampyroteuthidae vampyroteuthidae
Never IDed as lesbian, IDed as bi for awhile, and my identity solidified to pansexual a few months after coming out as trans.
03/02/2012
Contributor: scaredlittleboy scaredlittleboy
I IDed as bisexual with a preference for women, then I IDed as pansexual, then I came out as trans and now identify comfortably as queer. I find that I prefer to be with people who are trans or bend gender in some way, as I relate to them better.
03/02/2012
Contributor: Alx Alx
started out feeling somewhat bi-curious, then became a full-out homosexual androphile when I began my transition.
03/06/2012
Contributor: Interesante Interesante
That was pretty much exactly me. Or at the very least, I identified as bisexual-leaning-on-le sbian.

After I 'came out' I started feeling more attracted to guys. Then again, I can pretty easily be attracted to everyone so I've decided to stop rigidly labeling myself and love everyone!
03/07/2012
Contributor: blixa blixa
I identified as bisexual at first despite not really being attracted to any genders, because I knew something was up but couldn't put a finger on it -- experimented a lot with girls, identified as asexual for a long while because of low libido.
03/09/2012
Contributor: tardisblue tardisblue
Identified as a lesbian before transitioning, started identifying more as queer or bisexual as I transitioned. Actually started dating a cisgender gay man before I started testosterone, so I know it wasn't the T. I was just more adverse to dating a guy who saw me as a woman before I started transitioning. I still find myself more attracted to women than men, though.
03/11/2012
Contributor: Liberalqueer Liberalqueer
I ID'd as bisexual, then lesbian, then pansexual, and now queer haha.
03/11/2012
Contributor: butts butts
I identified as gay before I even knew what transsexuality was in a weird way, it always felt very wrong to refer to myself as straight. I couldn't imagine myself in a straight relationship, I didn't like straight porn, I didn't want to be referred to as straight, even though I WAS. Now I am out, and feel comfortable referring to myself as gay. Sorry that's not entirely relevant to your question haha. BUT what I wanted to say was, hormones will sometimes effect one's sexuality. A lot of guys who start T will notice themselves being attracted to genders/sexes that they weren't much interested in before. Myself, when I was on T for 6 months, gained an appreciation for tomboys more than I even had before. I definitely wouldn't call myself bisexual because of it, but for once in my life I understood what it felt like to be attracted to females. I still had very little interest in having SEX with a female, but a romantic relationship with a female seemed more natural than it did before. Once I ran out of funds and I was unable to continue T, I gradually lost interest in females again. I can definitely say that T effected my sexuality, but not enough to make me want to pursue a relationship with a female.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Lock Lock
I never really "identified" as one or the other, I have just been attracted to whom I'm attracted to, male, female, or in between. That didn't change after transition.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Idgi Idgi
I've had more sexualities than actual relationships at this point--it changes to often for me to try and label it for other people. I can't be bothered with the whims of others.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Cal Cal
Quote:
Originally posted by Aries
I'm wondering how many trans people have had the experience of identifying as lesbian but then becoming trans-male and feeling that their sexuality changed in some way- especially gaining an interest in men.

Please share your experiences ... more
I've seen this happen a lot in my community of FTMs, but haven't experienced it. I liked women before transition and (so far) after. Though there's been some gendered grey zones in my partners, none of them identify as exclusively male.
03/12/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
I have never been very attracted to anyone. But I did meet a boy which kind of changed my views on sex. So I guess I have only ever been a gay man.
03/12/2012
Contributor: MasonJ MasonJ
I've noticed a trend of transguys coming out as gay after starting T. I think it can be a variety of reasons - the chemistry of the brain changing, security in yourself, a combo of a variety of issues, etc. Personally, I haven't experienced it, but I have noticed it.
03/12/2012
Contributor: TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonJ
I've noticed a trend of transguys coming out as gay after starting T. I think it can be a variety of reasons - the chemistry of the brain changing, security in yourself, a combo of a variety of issues, etc. Personally, I haven't experienced ... more
I discussed this with someone who said that after his transition, he felt more comfortable with homosexuality because he was more comfortable with that sort of feminine world view on himself. He also said that he found guys were easier to get into bed. So that may be part of it.
03/12/2012
Contributor: tom fay tom fay
Quote:
Originally posted by Aries
I'm wondering how many trans people have had the experience of identifying as lesbian but then becoming trans-male and feeling that their sexuality changed in some way- especially gaining an interest in men.

Please share your experiences ... more
Defintly, i was ace lesbian. and now im a really sexual gay guy
03/13/2012
Contributor: lukas24 lukas24
Right now I'd say I'm both aromantic and asexual, although I sort of wish that might change a bit. I dunno...gets a bit lonely...
03/14/2012
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
I thought I was a lesbian when I was 9. But then I was like, "meh, not really" and went on with things, haha.
03/14/2012
Contributor: blixa blixa
Quote:
Originally posted by MasonJ
I've noticed a trend of transguys coming out as gay after starting T. I think it can be a variety of reasons - the chemistry of the brain changing, security in yourself, a combo of a variety of issues, etc. Personally, I haven't experienced ... more
I've also heard/noticed that -- for some guys it seems to be just jump-starting their sexuality in general, whether by actual hormonal change or giving them more confidence in thinking about themselves sexually. I'm not on T yet, but it's something I'm a bit braced for.
03/14/2012
Contributor: jesseftm jesseftm
I think when I was a freshman in high school I kind of started saying I was a lesbian because really, no one believed me when I said I wasn't. I knew I wanted to date girls and so the label just kind of got stuck on me. In fact I never came out to people because I WASN'T a lesbian, but I got outted anyway. As I've gotten older I've become more and more attracted to men again. I know there's the whole "once you start T you become gay" story, but I just started T in January and I've been more attracted to men long before that. Now I have no idea what my sexuality is but I've also realized it doesn't really matter what it is. Plus, I'm in a long term committed relationship with a woman so I don't worry about it too much. I guess now I'm a straight man but my girlfriend and I both know I'm also really into dudes. In fact, if you'd ask her she'd say I was gay.
03/14/2012
Contributor: tinkertoo tinkertoo
never really identified as a lesbian. before transition, i identified mainly as bisexual, dated a few guys and a few girls. now, i identify mainly as a gay man, but i have a girlfriend so i guess it's more like pan or bi right now. even before transition, i've always been mor attracted to males but open to any gender
03/14/2012
Contributor: Nontoxic Nontoxic
I've been attracted to masculine and androgynous-identified people all my life, so I actually came out as trans before I came out as gay.
03/14/2012
Contributor: xxjoel xxjoel
Hmm. The people I am attracted to pretty much stayed the same, but what I wanted in bed changed. I'm kinky, and as a girl (which I am still comfortable being in sexual situations) I am a submissive, but once I put my dick on I'm much more dominant.
03/15/2012
Contributor: Nanuk Nanuk
Used to be lesbian, but now... I'm very open-minded
05/06/2012
Contributor: Interesante Interesante
That is exactly what happened to me... I considered myself a lesbian, had a very disastrous relationship with my ex, and then a while later discovered that I was transgender and did a pretty big about-face. I'm now way more interested in men... But maybe that's in part due to how absolutely awful my relationship with my ex was.
05/06/2012
Contributor: TakeHimAway TakeHimAway
Quote:
Originally posted by Liberalqueer
I ID'd as bisexual, then lesbian, then pansexual, and now queer haha.
This!
05/07/2012
Contributor: MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by Aries
I'm wondering how many trans people have had the experience of identifying as lesbian but then becoming trans-male and feeling that their sexuality changed in some way- especially gaining an interest in men.

Please share your experiences ... more
I've always felt that I was a guy and so my preferred attraction to women for most of my life made me feel like I was straight. However, because everybody around me misgendered me, I was forced to date men to seem 'straight' and I eventually developed an attraction and something of a preference for them.
05/07/2012
Contributor: Youssii Youssii
I'm the other way. I was pansexual before transitioning, but leaning quite strongly towards men, and now I love women. Women are awesome. I'm still pan but over all my preferences are 60% feminine and androgynous people and 40% masculine people.

I get the feeling that a change in sexuality is quite common for people when they transition.
05/07/2012
Contributor: Phineas James Keane Phineas James Keane
Your opening post pins me down pretty well, actually, haha. I identified as lesbian pre-transition, though now I'm pansexual with a preference for masculine-identified folks, and a special spot for other trans* individuals. As a transman myself, I don't like considering being trans* as a niche or a fetish, but fellow transpeople do hold a certain unique attraction to me. Perhaps it's the sense of camaraderie?
05/07/2012
Contributor: transfag transfag
I think it's complicated, like other people said. Since our model of sexuality is about your own gender in relation to the gender or genders you're attracted to, coming into your own identity can make all of that complicated.

I identified as a lesbian for a while, before I had words for being trans*. I knew I wasn't solely attracted to women even then, but the idea of being a woman in a heterosexual relationship made my stomach sink. After coming into my identity as a trans man, I identified as queer and toyed with pansexual.

I've been on T for a couple months now, and I've been identifying as a trans fag also. So I guess I'm attracted to people of all genders, its always been that way-- I've just always had an aversion to straight people haha
05/09/2012