The New Intimacy

#AprilFools - bestestest condom evor!!!!!

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Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
so im on ehre to tell you about the like bestestest condom evern.

so i was at the grocry store one day and saw this purple packaging that looked really cute, so i bought them and took them home with me. i know they were trojan but i cant remember exactly which kind, i think the ones 'for her'

so i went home to my bf and made him put some on and we started going at it, if you know what i mean. well like 45 minutes later my vajayjay was starting to feel al ittle dry so i grabbed my favoritest body lotion ever and just squirted some of that all over his peepee, cuz my vajayjay was needing some moisturizing too, why not kill 2 birds w/ 1 stone right?

so eventually i cameeeee and it was like OMG AMAZING and it was all because of these condoms, even tho i think they might have given me a yeast infection. but once it clears up i wanna go back for some more 'investigating'

so you should definitely buy these condoms cuz there like the best on the market ever and give them to all your girl friend coz they will love them!!!!!!
04/01/2010
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Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Lol
04/01/2010
Contributor: MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
Who cares about a yeast infection if they're the best condoms in the world! Wish listed! Thanks
04/01/2010
Contributor: jewgasm jewgasm
Eerbody kno dat yous can pullz out. U no need dis. Duh girl!
04/02/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
PLease be sure to cover your jelly condom with a latex condom next time to avoid the yeast infection. Have you tried any of the Lubes on EF? I recommend you look into those with lots of Glycerine, parabens and sugar flavorings...the bestestest condom ever should taste good right??

Great review, you'll be an advanced reviewer in no time!
04/02/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
PLease be sure to cover your jelly condom with a latex condom next time to avoid the yeast infection. Have you tried any of the Lubes on EF? I recommend you look into those with lots of Glycerine, parabens and sugar flavorings...the bestestest condom ... more
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! !!




(You want to know why this review was perfect? Because it actually reads like one of the "bad reviews." The three paragraphs, everything..wow. Good job, Jul!a.)
04/02/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
What a wonderful 'bad' review!
04/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! !!




(You want to know why this review was perfect? Because it actually reads like one of the "bad reviews." The three paragraphs, everything..wow. Good job, Jul!a.)
Do you have any idea how hard it was to write this using no grammar and not correcting typos? It seriously took me twice as long as the last time I wrote a real condom review, lmao
04/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
PLease be sure to cover your jelly condom with a latex condom next time to avoid the yeast infection. Have you tried any of the Lubes on EF? I recommend you look into those with lots of Glycerine, parabens and sugar flavorings...the bestestest condom ... more
lyke omg, you know that wud be saweet!!
04/02/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Do you have any idea how hard it was to write this using no grammar and not correcting typos? It seriously took me twice as long as the last time I wrote a real condom review, lmao
Same for when I wrote my fake review...it took so long, it was so hard.
04/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Same for when I wrote my fake review...it took so long, it was so hard.
I couldn't believe how difficult it was to write some of the same things that obviously took some people 5 minutes, lol.

Your fake review is just like some of those "awesome" reviews too, lol
04/02/2010
Contributor: Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Would this condom work on my garden gnome? Tiny Gnome
04/02/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
Would this condom work on my garden gnome?
lyke fr surz!!!
04/02/2010
Contributor: Zeracan Zeracan
I never want to see a review thats actually like this, eugh, scary.
10/11/2010
Contributor: MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Quote:
Originally posted by Kynky Kytty
Would this condom work on my garden gnome?
O my xD the gnome returns!
12/19/2010
Contributor: phunkyphreak phunkyphreak
Why not just use da plastik grocery bag-its totally safe I seen it on TV.
03/25/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
OOOOOmgz!!!!!11!!!!!1!

I SEE DAT CONDOM @ DA STORE 2! I BOT LYK 24 BOX OF DEM & I DEF LUV TEM LYK 4EVA!!

I EVEN TRYD 4 GivIN MY BF BJS!!!!!!!! DEY TAYST WIERD BUT I THINK DATS CUZ IM ALLERGENCI 2 LATEXXX?!?!?!?!?!?!?

MY BOYFRIEND SEZ DAT IF YEASTIES DONT GO AWAY, JUST GO WIFOUT DE CONDOMS 4 LYK 2 WEEKS. DEN YULL BE BETTA, JUS BE SURE TO PULL OUT AND DEN WASH URe VAJAYJAY OUT WITH SUM ORANGE JEWS, TOTES KILLZ SPERMBABYS!!!11!!!!

LULZ! OMGZ, I LUV IT. PLZ LET EF CARRY DEM MORE, SO ON MY WISHLIST!!!!!111~
03/26/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
de oraange jews ting def werks, btw.

my bf sez dats cuz its hasidic. so betta be safe den sorry!
03/26/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by tigerkate
OOOOOmgz!!!!!11!!!!!1!

I SEE DAT CONDOM @ DA STORE 2! I BOT LYK 24 BOX OF DEM & I DEF LUV TEM LYK 4EVA!!

I EVEN TRYD 4 GivIN MY BF BJS!!!!!!!! DEY TAYST WIERD BUT I THINK DATS CUZ IM ALLERGENCI 2 LATEXXX?!?!?!?!?!?!?

MY ... more
Omgz, i iz def gonn haf 2 tries the orraaaange jewss ting, fer surez!
03/28/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
so im on ehre to tell you about the like bestestest condom evern.

so i was at the grocry store one day and saw this purple packaging that looked really cute, so i bought them and took them home with me. i know they were trojan but i cant ... more
April Fool's Day review?



Sad thing is, I've read reviews like this. But, yours was hilarious, Sam. Plus side, I didn't feel bad about laughing at it. (Like I do when I laugh at the real ones which read like this.)

"investigating" was a 5 syllable word.....
03/28/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I think I just died, LOL.
Awesome review.
03/28/2011
Contributor: callsignhusker callsignhusker
rofl, i lol'ed
04/08/2011
Contributor: brittany8612 brittany8612
that's awesome omg
08/04/2011
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by MuffysPinguLove
Who cares about a yeast infection if they're the best condoms in the world! Wish listed! Thanks
LOL! Did you rate them 5 lures?
02/03/2012
Contributor: Rod Ronald Rod Ronald
That was awesome
02/07/2012
Contributor: winterseve winterseve
Buahhahaha. That was liked the mostest coolest review ever. HAve to gets me some of those. What flavor lotion?
03/10/2012
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by winterseve
Buahhahaha. That was liked the mostest coolest review ever. HAve to gets me some of those. What flavor lotion?
i thynk it wuz lyk, reglar lotion. it smelld lyk koolaid!
03/12/2012
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
i thynk it wuz lyk, reglar lotion. it smelld lyk koolaid!
I just facepalmed myself into my laptop keyboard. Ow. LOL
03/28/2012
Contributor: shesFlawless shesFlawless
that was the greatestest review ever
03/30/2012
Contributor: TransMarc TransMarc
ROFL, this review is great for showing people how not to make reviews
04/01/2012