Sister Wives

Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
This show premiered on TLC last night.

I had seen MANY ads for it (I am a closet TLC junkie) and I was looking forward to watching it.

I find that lifestyle to be fascinating. I personally could never do it. WAY too much estrogen for me. Not to mention, although I do share (we swing) I could never do so on a full time basis.

Anyone else catch it? Thoughts? Just another family trying to cash in on the TLC phenomenon?
09/27/2010
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Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I watched it, I don't think they're just trying to cash in on the TLC bandwagon or anything, I think they just want to get the word out there and help people to understand them. The closest anyone has is Big Love, but Big Love has so much drama involved with it that it's not really based on the every day issues. I personally really liked the show and I'll continue to watch it, I have always been fascinated by the idea of plural marriage..when it's done in this way. The ones like the families on Big Love who were on the compound..that just kind of freaked me out, but the ones who marry for love and can all live together...fascinating .

For me I'd love to have sister wives, but I also know I couldn't handle it. I'd be way too jealous. I think that's partially because these women all believe in this faith and they feel that this faith wants them to be sister wives and so that helps them..for me I don't have religion and so I'd be just looking at the side where I'm sharing my husband's love. We've shared with others before..but that's sharing bodies, it's not sharing hearts and I am WAY too selfish about my husband's love to want to share it
09/27/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I haven't watched it yet but am dvr-ing it. I'm sooo fascinated by plural marriage and although I'm not sure I could do it personally because I'm too much of a control freak, have absolutely no problem with anyone else doing it if it works for them.

In a culture so hell-bent on maintaining the 'family unit', and constantly hearing that children need 2 parents for the best possible upbringing (which I don't necessarily agree with), you would think there would be more backing for families with so much care and attention and parenting to go around but I guess because it's not typical or normal or doesn't fit into some pretty little demographic box, it's still not ok to most people. (end rant)
09/27/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
@ ToriRebel - Yeah it is totally because it strays from the norm. Freaks people out.

I am loving the show. The seasons preview looks great. Nice to see TLC come out with something other than little people and families with a boat load of kids.

I thought it was neat that 2 of the 3 wives were raised in plural marriage homes themselves. The one that wasn't was just like 'it felt right'.
09/27/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
OOOO.. I watch Big Love, so I would probably like this show! LOL I grew up Mormon, and just an FYI, they ARE NOT the same thing! But I don't believe in this lifestyle, but like you I am fascinated by it!
09/27/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyySarah
OOOO.. I watch Big Love, so I would probably like this show! LOL I grew up Mormon, and just an FYI, they ARE NOT the same thing! But I don't believe in this lifestyle, but like you I am fascinated by it!
I love Big Love also. I have been watching that one since it started.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
I never heard of it, but I would check it out.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
I never heard of it, but I would check it out.
Same here. This is one of the main reasons "Big Love" is so appealing to me. It's not something I could do, but I do find it interesting.
09/27/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
It's not really my form of entertainment, but I might give it a shot one day.
09/27/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I hadn't heard of this show, but I'd be curious to see it. I am a Big Love addict
09/27/2010
Contributor: Lavender*Moon Lavender*Moon
I watched it and can't wait for the next episode. Plural marriages are really interesting to me. I don't tend to get along with women my age so it's facinating to see these women get along so well.

One thing I've noticed about plural marriages though is that if it's one man with many wives they're polygamist, but if it's one woman with multiple husbands they're polyamorous. Can anyone explain why the difference? (I mean in terms of man + multiple wives = polygamy; woman + multiple husbands = polyarmory.)
09/28/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Just read an article - the family's being investigated for bigamy. Although the police can't decide whether to call it 'bigamy' or 'making sure nothing squiffy is going on involving the kids'. The wives are more concerned about how it might scare away other families from being open about their own arrangements.

link

Ever since I read 'Time Enough for Love' (Heinlein) I've perfectly understood the desire to be a cohesive family no matter who's in it and how many are in it - as long as there is love, respect, everyone's responsible, and the children are cared for, then everything's fine.
09/28/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
This show premiered on TLC last night.

I had seen MANY ads for it (I am a closet TLC junkie) and I was looking forward to watching it.

I find that lifestyle to be fascinating. I personally could never do it. WAY too much estrogen for ... more
I saw the previews. Honestly, I'm sick of most of these reality shows. Watching a show like that makes me angry because form my knowledge the women are not allowed to have other partners. It seems derogatory to me.

Anyone seen it and know if these girls are allowed?
09/29/2010
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I saw the previews. Honestly, I'm sick of most of these reality shows. Watching a show like that makes me angry because form my knowledge the women are not allowed to have other partners. It seems derogatory to me.

Anyone seen it and know ... more
I have not seen a show where the women are allowed to have partners.

I really can see your point on this one. I think it is a little derogatory in ways. Whether it was the intent or not. I don't know if the production company thought about it or not.
09/29/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I have not seen a show where the women are allowed to have partners.

I really can see your point on this one. I think it is a little derogatory in ways. Whether it was the intent or not. I don't know if the production company thought ... more
That is wonderful that the guy feels he can fall in love more than once and doesn't find it necessary to throw away present loves. BUT, that's cheating to me and it's not fair that the women have to share him and can't get their own other loves too. Idk...it angers me lol.

I want all of a person because that is what I deserve and that is what my partner deserves.
09/29/2010
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
I was really interested in the show, and it was cool to get that point of view, but the guy drives me nuts. I can't stand him. lol. It was very cool to see how their family works especially with having kids.
09/29/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Perhaps bigamy works better for them and everyone is happy. And he's really only LEGALLY married to one of them. So as long as it's all consensual for the others and there are no allegation of abuse, the law should just stay out of it. It's still widely practiced in Middle Eastern Countries. Islam says something about how a man can have up to 4 wives. My husband worked with a Somali national who has two wives, perfectly normal for them. It used to be the way of life centuries ago, even in biblical times, it's just not so common anymore and looked upon negatively.

What about that polygamist group in Colorado City, AZ? They run almost the whole town, so no one does anything about it. Even law enforcement in that town is part of the group! There was a documentary on about some of the members escaping, how many children are dying and being buried in unmarked graves, etc.. It was compared to a cult. They let few in, and no one out, unless you escape or go out in a casket. Now that is a scary group.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
I've seen previews for it, haven't tried to watch it though. I probably won't as it's not something I really agree with. Whatever floats their boat(s) though!..
09/29/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
I'm not against polyamory and open relationships, but I don't know. Personally, I'd kill my sister if she were sleeping with my husband (if I had either). I wouldn't be able to stand having kids with one person and he having kids with my sisters as well. That's just...weird to me. I mean, does anyone else find it ODD that all of those kids are half brothers/sisters AND cousins?

I won't watch it, just because I'm not interested in seeing it. I think it's great to show people that there are people who live in polyamorous lifestyles.

There was a big stink about this yesterday on HLN, though. They said that there might be legal action brought against them because what they do is considered illegal. I don't agree with that one bit and, honestly, I was shocked to hear that it was happening. Then again, nothing should shock me these days.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I'm not against polyamory and open relationships, but I don't know. Personally, I'd kill my sister if she were sleeping with my husband (if I had either). I wouldn't be able to stand having kids with one person and he having kids ... more
The sister wives aren't actually sisters. Granted in some of the larger polygamist families a husband has been known to marry a woman and then her sister, but it's not super common. Any women that share the same husband are referred to as sister wives. I'm not entirely sure why but my guess would be that it's because they're part of each others family/household and it gives the title a more communal feel? Just guessing though.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Just read an article - the family's being investigated for bigamy. Although the police can't decide whether to call it 'bigamy' or 'making sure nothing squiffy is going on involving the kids'. The wives are more concerned ... more
Wow that's ridiculous. I don't see why it's anyone's business but the family's if people are cohabitating like they are. I can understand the legal aspect of marrying more than one person..but if he's only actually legally married to the first one I do not understand why the law has to get involved. It just seems that the law needs to stop deciding who can love who and who can marry who because there must be more important things to worry about!
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
That is wonderful that the guy feels he can fall in love more than once and doesn't find it necessary to throw away present loves. BUT, that's cheating to me and it's not fair that the women have to share him and can't get their own ... more
My husband feels the same way, he feels that it's cheating and that the man is just a whore. (His words) I think that for these people it has a lot to do with religion. Their religion dictates that this is how it should be done and so they do it because they think it's what they should do. In my opinion it's just another way that religion controls people.

I personally don't see anything wrong with it if that's what these women want..but I have to wonder if it's REALLY what they want or just what they have accepted because it's what they feel is expected. But, some people may be happy being monogomous even though their spouse/partner is not happy with that, so maybe that's the situation..but I can't imagine that always being the case.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
That is wonderful that the guy feels he can fall in love more than once and doesn't find it necessary to throw away present loves. BUT, that's cheating to me and it's not fair that the women have to share him and can't get their own ... more
I agree. The one-sidedness of this is what angers me. He gets multiple partners, but his wives/partners are denied the same privilege.
09/29/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Lavender*Moon
I watched it and can't wait for the next episode. Plural marriages are really interesting to me. I don't tend to get along with women my age so it's facinating to see these women get along so well.

One thing I've noticed about ... more
Technically, a woman with more than one man would be "Polyandrous." (Poly=many andry=male)

But, as Amory means Love or affection for, Polyamorous people tend to have the ability to LOVE more than one person at one time, whether they or their lovers are male or female. Although many Polyamorous people can be heterosexual, as well. Polyamory tends to cover all the bases.
09/29/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
My husband feels the same way, he feels that it's cheating and that the man is just a whore. (His words) I think that for these people it has a lot to do with religion. Their religion dictates that this is how it should be done and so they do ... more
I don't see it as cheating if all of the wives agreed to the situation in the first place, which they obviously did, otherwise they wouldn't have "married" him. In a sense, they are taking the "it takes a community" saying to raise a child/children quite literally. The ladies have the companionship of each other, but I'm sure tensions arise here and there, which they would even in a two-party marriage! If they sincerely belief in this lifestyle and that is what makes them happy, then I wish them the best of luck. I would only hope that if one of his wives doesn't like the arrangement, that she is free to leave with her children or share custody, etc...
09/29/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
My husband feels the same way, he feels that it's cheating and that the man is just a whore. (His words) I think that for these people it has a lot to do with religion. Their religion dictates that this is how it should be done and so they do ... more
Religion is the root of all conflict. End of story.

These women go along with it because they have been raised to worth much less than a man. Their self esteems are probably not the best and as a result they go along with something less than they deserve. It's ridiculous.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
I don't see it as cheating if all of the wives agreed to the situation in the first place, which they obviously did, otherwise they wouldn't have "married" him. In a sense, they are taking the "it takes a community" ... more
Yea I agree too that it's not cheating. Actually I don't know if my husband really considers it cheating so much as he considers the man being selfish I guess.

I totally agree that the community aspect is awesome. I even told my husband that I'd love to live in a situation like that..only with other couples, not as us all sharing the guy. But I think that the living situation in general is awesome and I think the freedom it allows each one of those wives is pretty awesome. It must make finances easier, better for the kids, and if they're happy sharing I think it's a pretty awesome lifestyle so long as they're happy..which these women seemed to be. What bothers me more is the women who feel they're trapped..but that didn't seem to be the case in this show at all.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Religion is the root of all conflict. End of story.

These women go along with it because they have been raised to worth much less than a man. Their self esteems are probably not the best and as a result they go along with something less than ... more
I agree about religion. And I also agree that in some situations that's what happens with the women in these types of marriages. In the families on the show I am not sure if they do or not. I mean no one can really say but these women themselves but they did seem to be happy and there were benefits to them as well as to the others. I think they do it because it feels normal to them, but I'm not sure that they feel they're worth less than a man. Because yes he has sexual relationships with more than one woman..so he gets that, but he also has a lot more responsibilities than they have. They have more freedom than he does because he has to please each one of these women and he's running back and forth through to three women each day trying to keep them all happy. I can't imagine that's easy either and I think he probably envies them sometimes when they get freedom to do their own thing and have nights off where he can't have that.
09/29/2010
Contributor: the bedroom blogger the bedroom blogger
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Religion is the root of all conflict. End of story.

These women go along with it because they have been raised to worth much less than a man. Their self esteems are probably not the best and as a result they go along with something less than ... more
Ditto. Times a million. I totally agree with you here.
09/29/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Just read an article - the family's being investigated for bigamy. Although the police can't decide whether to call it 'bigamy' or 'making sure nothing squiffy is going on involving the kids'. The wives are more concerned ... more
That is madness! I totally just spammed friends that watched it with the article.

Thanks Chilli
09/29/2010