Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
Once a cheater, always a cheater
03/13/2012
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Even if the other person never does cheat again, they will always be a cheater in your eyes as you can never trust them again once they do it once.
03/13/2012
i believe ifb they do it once they will do it again
03/13/2012
I think that more often that not it proves to me that this saying sadly is true. However, with that said people do grow and learn from their mistakes and it is possible that people can truly change.
03/13/2012
...it would depend on the person I suppose, for the most part though I think I'd give any cheater one (and only one) more chance.
03/13/2012
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Pretty much my answer here. People are able to change other things about themselves if they truly work on it, so why assume that cheating is any different?
Originally posted by
Secret Pleasure
I think that more often that not it proves to me that this saying sadly is true. However, with that said people do grow and learn from their mistakes and it is possible that people can truly change.
03/13/2012
I don't think it is always true.
03/13/2012
I think so, It is definitely a sight into their morals of respect for another.
03/13/2012
I voted other. There are some exceptions to the rule, as well as other circumstances.
I cheated on one person. That was 16 years ago, I will never cheat again. My husband (who is the one I cheated with) did the same thing. I know he will never cheat again as well. We were both in dead end marriages, sleeping in separate rooms and only staying for the kids... SERIOUSLY! We had also been friends for a few years, no bullshit involved. We finally gave in a month before we were each getting our separate divorces, yes we should have waited for moral/legal issues. We did not and 15 monogamous years later, we are still making it work, sometimes better then others, but we still love each other, are best friends/worst enemies, and will work as long as we love....should be a lifetime with the bond we have.
I am not trying to justify anything, but am trying to explain that it really depends on why and circumstances.
I cheated on one person. That was 16 years ago, I will never cheat again. My husband (who is the one I cheated with) did the same thing. I know he will never cheat again as well. We were both in dead end marriages, sleeping in separate rooms and only staying for the kids... SERIOUSLY! We had also been friends for a few years, no bullshit involved. We finally gave in a month before we were each getting our separate divorces, yes we should have waited for moral/legal issues. We did not and 15 monogamous years later, we are still making it work, sometimes better then others, but we still love each other, are best friends/worst enemies, and will work as long as we love....should be a lifetime with the bond we have.
I am not trying to justify anything, but am trying to explain that it really depends on why and circumstances.
03/13/2012
I have never cheated and/or been with anyone who has cheated. Personally, I think people can change if they really want to and put forth the effort.
03/13/2012
No way. My husband did while we were dating. Then we got back together and got married it's been three years and he hasn't. Cheating is so out of character for him though and he didn't have sex.
03/13/2012
To me it all depends but to me.. Kinda. It's a gray area in my mind still
03/13/2012
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It depends I suppose on the person
Originally posted by
Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
03/14/2012
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A cheater can earn trust again it just takes time and effort.
Originally posted by
Mwar
Do you believe the saying? Why or why not?
03/14/2012
No.
03/14/2012
Unfortunately past performance is the best predictor of future behavior. It's not that people can't change, it's just that when they do it's often temporary.
Just take the example of weight loss - some huge number like 90+% regain the weight shortly after loosing it. Likewise a repentant cheater may control their urges for a time - but eventually the urges will return - and likely the bad behavior.
Just take the example of weight loss - some huge number like 90+% regain the weight shortly after loosing it. Likewise a repentant cheater may control their urges for a time - but eventually the urges will return - and likely the bad behavior.
03/14/2012
No, because sometimes life circumstances can do a number on what you're willing to do to people. The times I cheated on people were because I had been desperately in love with my ex all along (And it was with them.), was only on the rebound with the people I was with, and those people were not what I needed so I was about to break up with the second one anyway and the first time it wasn't even a solid enough relationship to bother being monogamous in.
That was the only circumstance I've ever been in where I felt it wasn't terribly unacceptable. Yeah it was wrong but getting into those relationships in the first place was more wrong than cheating.
That was the only circumstance I've ever been in where I felt it wasn't terribly unacceptable. Yeah it was wrong but getting into those relationships in the first place was more wrong than cheating.
03/14/2012
It really depends
03/14/2012
its 100% true no matter what.
03/14/2012
My first instinct was always to say "if they did it once they'll do it again!!!" But this was before I had friends who were good people who ended up cheating on their partners. As far as I know it was only the one relationship that she was only still in because they had a child together and hasn't cheated since. But I've had other friends that ended up being cheated on multiple times by their partners.
So I guess I'd go with twice a cheater, always a cheater. Since just about any action can be a "fluke" the first time around. Not saying "oops I cheated!" is the right response, but more that something happening once doesn't necessarily define a person.
So I guess I'd go with twice a cheater, always a cheater. Since just about any action can be a "fluke" the first time around. Not saying "oops I cheated!" is the right response, but more that something happening once doesn't necessarily define a person.
03/14/2012
I think people can change, but once you break the trust between you and your partner, it is hard to repair that wound.
03/14/2012
"Cheating" isn't really a thing for me. If my partner wants to see other people while seeing me, they can totally do that, but I want to talk about it. If they want to see someone but they don't want to talk about it, I think of that as a communication problem (usually a fatal one), not cheating.
03/14/2012
I don't think once a cheater always a cheater, but if cheating goes on in my relationship that means that something was seriously wrong within the relationship. The relationship needs to be discussed and possibly re thought.
03/14/2012
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
03/14/2012
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Exactly.
Originally posted by
~LaUr3n~
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
I've had more than one friend who has cheated for one reason or another. I think it sometimes depends on your situation.
03/14/2012
Definitely not. Anyone can change their behavior, and it might just be that if a certain situation changes, so does the behavior. I don't believe in making blanket statements about anything or anyone.
03/14/2012
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LaUr3n - we agree on many things. But on this I think you have too much trust in the good side of human nature - and not taking the darker side seriously enough.
Originally posted by
~LaUr3n~
Definitely not. This is one of the stupidest phrases ever. If you engage in one behavior does that automatically mean you'll always engage in that behavior? Certainly not lol.
Cheating (especially in marriage) is not just some 'little white lie'. Someone willing to betray such a serious commitment may very well have - and I think likely - has a serious problem keeping their word in many areas.
Do people change - sure they do. But in my opinion there is a very high likelihood of them repeating the behavior.
Once caught cheaters often apologize profusely - but truth be known they are sorry to have been caught - not sorry for cheating.
Sorry I don't share your optimism on this one - cheat on me and don't waste your breath apologizing - I'm gone.
03/14/2012
I believe it because it has happened to me in the past. On top of that I had to find out from the bitches they cheated with.
03/14/2012
yes
03/14/2012
I have seen it happen time and time again to friends of mine.
03/15/2012
Total posts: 48
Unique posters: 47
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