How is your self esteem?

Contributor: VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that I'm very talented or "worth" much despite what my boyfriend and my mom say. It's hard to explain but I think in very black and white terms, I often say I'm sorry and I don't even know why, and if I can't do something perfectly I feel like I failed. It's tough and I've been like this since high school. I think the perfectionist in me started at a very young age and started in school. I'm not sure why these feelings are still lingering around like this when I know there's good things about me. I'm also negative even though I try not to be. I brace myself for the worst so I don't get disappointed when everything hits the fan. Does this sound like you?

Maybe you have positive self esteem. What do you tell yourself that you believe to be true and makes you feel good about yourself? Why do you believe it?

Do you have too much self esteem? Are you arrogant?

Just curious. =]
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have high self esteem (I think highly of myself, sometimes too much.)
6
My self esteem is average (I have my ups and downs.)
40
I have low self esteem (I think lowly of myself, always feeling sorry and not good enough.)
21
Total votes: 67 (64 voters)
Poll is closed
01/31/2013
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Contributor: GONE! GONE!
My self-esteem is not exactly amazing.
01/31/2013
Contributor: epiphanyjayne epiphanyjayne
I like to think I have high/or at least good self esteem but really I have this inner voice that lets me know how much I suck at most things, I'm not good enough or smart enough. sometimes when discussing a topic I'll just assume I'm wrong and the other person is right when the the opposite is true.
Some days though I can be overly arrogant, or maybe I just am really right this time, maybe.
01/31/2013
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
It could be better.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Girly Juice Girly Juice
I've spent the past 5 years working on my self-love and I'm in a really good place with it. (And about your answers: I don't think there's such a thing as loving yourself "too much." People who come off as arrogant are pompous don't actually love themselves; they're insecure and that's why they behave that way.)
01/31/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Above average, but not extremely high. I always think positively, and I refused to be bothered by other people's criticisms.
01/31/2013
Contributor: VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
That's a good point about insecure people appearing to have high self esteem. I've always been socially awkward and have had low self esteem since I was a kid but I've never came off as overly confident to hide it. I just wonder how people get to a healthy point of confidence because I can't even imagine being that confident in myself.

I don't really have any talents or skills. I struggle with body issues and weight issues. I'm also struggling with just this overall feeling of not being good enough for everybody despite all my efforts. I'm my own worst enemy. It's hard to shake it when I've been that way so long.
01/31/2013
Contributor: souviet souviet
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
average.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Lildrummrgurl7 Lildrummrgurl7
I've never had a high self esteem.
01/31/2013
Contributor: kkybf kkybf
somewhere between average and low
01/31/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
Mine is pretty average. Now that I'm healthier (both physically & emotionally & mentally) than I was a few years ago, I really don't have seriously low self esteem. I have my days and moments when it is not the highest that it really should be, but unless I'm PMSing, it's usually average. Never too high, but definitely a healthy level these days.
01/31/2013
Contributor: LoooveMonkey LoooveMonkey
I used to have really horrible self esteem, but I spent the money and got myself braces, lost a little weight and tried to start internalizing compliments. So long as you're not fishing for them and you're not in a position to be sucked up to, people wouldn't tell you nice things if they didn't mean them and my boyfriend never lies to me. I was being rude by not believing the things people said. I think the internalizing compliments helped me the most.

My boyfriend tells me I'm smart and warm and beautiful. And my friends tell me I'm a great friend and the best person to talk to when they need it because I'm great at listening and giving advice if they ask. I own my own cleaning business, and I'm damn good at it and I trained my brothers to be good at it, too so I could hire them. All my clients rave about our work. Those are the things that I remember when I'm feeling bad about myself.

I have to admit, it took a LOT of work to get where I am self esteem-wise, and without the support of my sweet boyfriend, I never could have done it. So I think to get better self esteem, you need at least one honest person in your life who is supportive of you and tells you good things about yourself. Believe that person!! And you need to want to love yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and pick out things you like about your body. If there's something you don't like that you can do something about, do it! Tell yourself that you're strong and awesome! And always believe the nice things people tell you about yourself!

If arrogance is something you worry about, remember this: Confidence is loving who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. You can be yourself and not worry about people not liking you. You KNOW you're sexy and you don't need to be told so. You know you're smart, and you know you're awesome! Arrogance is not loving yourself, but putting on a show so that you appear to. It's hiding who you really are and telling people how great you are because you want people to believe it. If you're happy and you truly feel good about yourself, you will not be arrogant.
01/31/2013
Contributor: butts butts
I'd say medium-high, I have a good healthy amount but not too much! I am transsexual, so uh, my body and gender dysphoria WRECK my self esteem on some days but I can usually look past it and know that I'll be comfortable with my body someday.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
I would say average..some might say I have too much.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Living Doll Living Doll
It's about average. Working on it.
01/31/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
After years of thinking there was nothing good about myself, I've finally come to a point where I can see some things that are good. I'd say that I have average self esteem at this point. I'm not always down, but things do get me there. Seeing cute clothes I can't fit into, seeing certain photos of myself, things like that tend to get me down sometimes.
01/31/2013
Contributor: joiedejouets joiedejouets
Mine is high usually but I have my occasional moments of self-doubt.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Been actively working on it to make it higher so I can shake off the "Eeyore" identity and make myself more appealing to employers.
01/31/2013
Contributor: EmuLove EmuLove
I am a low self-esteemer but I work on it and I have very supportive people in my life who help me recognize what I am good at and why I am important
01/31/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
My self esteem changes according to my moods, the day's events or activities and the subject of what I am talking about/doing/or thinking. I know that is an interesting?? way of putting my answer, but I have learned through much counseling that there are varying levels of confidence, knowledge, internal and external factors involved with self esteem.

The more confident I am with the tasks, knowledge I have about what is going on and the better my mood at the time--coupled with people who are at least polite or not having any "bad luck" that day, the better I feel about myself and my self confidence is higher. If I an insecure, uncertain and not feeling very happy--and run into rude, snobby or unfriendly people and run out of gas because I did not stop and gas up....yeah, low low day!!
01/31/2013
Contributor: Terri69 Terri69
I'm average
01/31/2013
Contributor: sillylilkitten sillylilkitten
Very low, but getting better than it used to be
01/31/2013
Contributor: happywaffle34 happywaffle34
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
i am always self conscious about everything but i always hide it
01/31/2013
Contributor: FunFantasys FunFantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
mine mostly has to do with my body image, because I'm a big girl.
01/31/2013
Contributor: richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
mine is all over the place atm with being preg and all at 18 weeks im up to 128 pnds i started at 115 i no its noraml i have 2 kids already but they r 10 n 12 so its been along time
01/31/2013
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I think too highly of myself in some areas (not so much other areas) and have to remind myself that I'm basically nobody :p
01/31/2013
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
MY self esteem is somewhere in the middile i guess.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Mrs.Tee Mrs.Tee
Quote:
Originally posted by VioletMoonstone
How is your self esteem? Are there certain things that trigger your positive or negative thoughts about yourself? Do you have any tips on how to improve self esteem?

I'd consider myself to have low self esteem. I don't feel that ... more
I have high self esteem about myself, but I do have my moments. But I just think that this is life is generally, really doesnt have anything to do with self esteem. Everyone has their good days and of course bad days are not to far behind, you just have to keep a positive attitude about everything that you involve yourself in.
01/31/2013
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
Mine was much higher before I lost a high-paying job, but what I have learned through unemployment is that I don't have to achieve (or look a certain way, or have a certain quality, fill in your own issue) to be "good enough" as a person or for the people who love me. If you are good to your loved ones, you are good enough.

I think you would feel a lot better if you put some serious energy into hearing your mom and boyfriend. They mean what they say. Sometimes you have to work on listening and turn off the negative voice in your head. Good luck and I hope you feel better.
01/31/2013
Contributor: fizzygato fizzygato
Depends.

Super high in some areas, extremely low in others. Fluctuates in some. Depends on who I'm with, or how I'm feeling or what I'm going through with some.

I'd say I have ups and downs regarding my abilities and looks often
01/31/2013