Does the label "virgin" bother you?

Does the label "virgin" bother you?

liilii080 liilii080
I was reading another post asking about when you stop being a virgin and I realized I don't like that label. I hate that there is so much emphasis on it when there doesn't have to be. It got me wondering, does the label "virgin" bother you or is it just me?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No, I don't like the label either
21  (21%)
Yes, I think it's just fine
10  (10%)
I don't care either way
67  (66%)
Other
4  (4%)
Total votes: 102
Poll is closed
01/17/2011
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Beth D Beth D
It doesn't bother me either way. I see it as a fact and I don't have anything against facts. However, if someone uses it as some kind of slander, e.g. 'You're just a virgin that doesn't know anything', that bothers me.
01/17/2011
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
It's not really the label that's the problem. There are many connotations, underlying implications, implied meanings that go along with it... being good, being bad, depending on the context.

At it's base, it's nothing more than a signifier that you have not yet become a sexually active person. That along shouldn't bother anybody. It's when you attach the ideas that virginity or lack of it make you more pure, less pure, more dirty, less desirable...whatever idea you attach, that's when it becomes bothersome.
01/17/2011
Yoda Yoda
In itself, Virgin isn't an offensive word at all. It refers to nothing that is considered derogatory or cruel, and only when things like inexperience and abstaining are regarded as pathetic, can it be used to label anyone. The "emphasis" you speak of has more to do with your own experience, and as Laurel points out, the ideas that have been attached to it by either you and/or the people in your scope of experience.
01/17/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
It's not really the label that's the problem. There are many connotations, underlying implications, implied meanings that go along with it... being good, being bad, depending on the context.

At it's base, it's nothing more ...
This to the second power!
01/17/2011
BadassFatass BadassFatass
I honestly never really thought about it...but I agree with what Laurel said.
01/17/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
The concept seems to imply that being a virgin is somehow superior to not being one - until some mythical time where the meaning reverses.

Very few people are really virgins at the point of marriage, and being a virgin at marriage confers no special chance at success at marriage - in fact it may be the other way around.

Young people need to focus on their maturity and readiness for a sexual relationship - not whether or not they are technically virgins or not.
01/17/2011
Avant-garde Avant-garde
The word virgin in my opinion is over emphasized, when there are far more important things to be concerned about. Also, In all honesty I find the definition of the word to be very poor.
01/18/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
I agree with those who say the word isn't the issue, but the context. I know when I was a senior in high school and a freshman in college, it felt like I was the only guy who hadn't had sex yet (I was a hopeless romantic who wanted to go through all the romantic motions before ending up in bed). What made it worse was all my friends were absolutely brutal with regards to how they teased me about it. Eventually, I tossed aside the hopeless romantic in me and just decided to get it over with. I can't say I regret it, but I wish I'd have been a stronger person than to let the ribbing get to me. The emphasis on virginity is far too out of place in today's society.
01/18/2011
IndependentlyHappy IndependentlyHappy
I personally think that whether you're a virgin or not is your own business, and I'm not going to judge anyone/think differently of anyone who is. Nobody needs to know unless you're comfortable telling them, and there's nothing wrong with it if you are one!
01/18/2011
moonch1ld moonch1ld
As a guy you're pressured to lose it as soon as possible and if you don't, "virgin" is usually an insult. I didn't enjoy the word while I was one, after losing it, it didn't bother me anymore.
01/18/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I don't find any problem with it because I don't consider it a label. It is a term. It's only a label if you let it be. Being a virgin doesn't define anyone.
01/18/2011
Eliza Eliza
I don't think it's a big deal one way or another. I don't particularly embrace the term, but I was never bothered by it either.
01/18/2011
Lady Venus Lady Venus
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
It's not really the label that's the problem. There are many connotations, underlying implications, implied meanings that go along with it... being good, being bad, depending on the context.

At it's base, it's nothing more ...
This.
02/10/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
I was reading another post asking about when you stop being a virgin and I realized I don't like that label. I hate that there is so much emphasis on it when there doesn't have to be. It got me wondering, does the label "virgin" ...
It only bothers me with someone throws the lable around to hurt someone with it. Other than that it seems really sweet if the person is comfortable with their virginity...and I don't believe that haveing an object shoved into your vagina means you are no longer a virgin. The original meaning of the word referred to a person's mental state rather than a piece of membrane in the vagina. You can be a virgin to many things...for instance I am a virgin to skydiving.
02/10/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
The concept seems to imply that being a virgin is somehow superior to not being one - until some mythical time where the meaning reverses.

Very few people are really virgins at the point of marriage, and being a virgin at marriage confers no ...
Absolutely Gunsmoke! What helps your odds of 'making it' in a relationship is your willingness and state of readiness FOR that relationship, not your sexual status or lack therein. In the past the only way to ensure children belonged to the man in question was to prove the hymen was intact at first penetration...it's not an issue today and really shouldn't have been then either...
02/10/2011
liilii080 liilii080
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Absolutely Gunsmoke! What helps your odds of 'making it' in a relationship is your willingness and state of readiness FOR that relationship, not your sexual status or lack therein. In the past the only way to ensure children belonged to the ...
The information about the intact hymen is something I didn't know. Very interesting. I guess I'll agree with many other posters that there is nothing inherent in the word virgin that is wrong but the context it's often used in is derogatory or cruel. I wish more people would just accept that we're all individuals and that what is right for one is not necessarily right for another and that is ok.
02/10/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Absolutely Gunsmoke! What helps your odds of 'making it' in a relationship is your willingness and state of readiness FOR that relationship, not your sexual status or lack therein. In the past the only way to ensure children belonged to the ...
Airen - thanks, glad I was able to contribute.
02/10/2011
Pandahb Pandahb
I don't mind it. To me virgins are simply younger people. If you say someone is a virgin I almost automatically think of an unmarried person in their late teens to mid 20's. I do realize that there are people older than that who are still virgins, however not as many normally.
02/11/2011
cobiffle cobiffle
Virgin is not a bad word at all but depends on how you treat somebody saying it.
03/17/2011
Lithaewyn Lithaewyn
Recently the problem I've had with this label is how it manipulated a friend into having false ideas about sex; he thoroughly believed that it must be this completely phenomenal experience (don't get me wrong, I love sex, obviously. I wouldn't be here otherwise!) and that it was a key factor in making him a "loser" even though he never went around sharing details of his lack of a sex life.

It drove him up the wall forever, until he finally started having sex with a woman who was strangely obsessed over him but he didn't care for her at all. He just really wanted to lose his v-card. Of course he regretted having his first time be with someone he didn't give a damn about, and he was just as miserable as before.

So ultimately the problems I have with the label have switched from just being the social connotations that non-virgins have about virgins, but also to how those connotations can severely damage a virgin's conception of sex and their own self worth. However, the word itself is not bad; it's what society has done with it.
03/20/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by liilii080
I was reading another post asking about when you stop being a virgin and I realized I don't like that label. I hate that there is so much emphasis on it when there doesn't have to be. It got me wondering, does the label "virgin" ...
Dont like labeling people. Its private.
03/20/2011
(Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
I loathe it. Patriarchy at its finest.

Virginity obsession is why we have utter bs like "saddlebacking," also known as butt fucking for Christ, because God is ok with, uh, sodomy. Better an innocent child of Christ get it in the ass than a pure young lass allow said purity be destroyed.

And yeah, in the countries where you can die if you're considered a non-virgin in the wrong circumstances.

Countless other things.
03/20/2011
lezergirl lezergirl
virginity has issues of it's own, but i've never had the label applied to me negatively at any rate
03/21/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
The label itself doesn't bother me, but the implications do. It kills me when someone has sex they don't really want just so they can stop being a "virgin". I hate virgin shaming and slut shaming equally, both cause people to do things with their sex lives they'd rather not do.

On the other hand, if someone is proud of being a virgin and wants to stay that way, then it's a good thing, because it's something that makes them happy and they're doing with their body what they want to do.
09/13/2011
GenderSexplorations GenderSexplorations
Quote:
Originally posted by AndroAngel
The label itself doesn't bother me, but the implications do. It kills me when someone has sex they don't really want just so they can stop being a "virgin". I hate virgin shaming and slut shaming equally, both cause people to do ...
I basically agree with everything said here. Virgin shaming is a no-no. But so is slut shaming. And whatever you wanna be, as long as you're happy, it's your choice. No one has to label themselves if they don't want to.
09/13/2011
JRabbits JRabbits
I think people let things such as words, terms, and lables bother them way too much.
09/13/2011
IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Yeh i dont really care too much for it
09/13/2011
Errant Venture Errant Venture
I dislike the connotations people place on it. The fact that you're calling it a label is evidence of that. I have no problem with the word itself. It's just there to denote you've not tried one thing or another.
09/14/2011
CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
No, it excites me.
09/14/2011
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Total posts: 48
Unique posters: 45