The New Intimacy

What is the issue with breastfeeding?

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I was on the bus today for the first time in years, and a woman was breastfeeding her baby. Out of nowhere, after a good 10 minutes of feeding (as if no one noticed before) the bus stops, and the driver asks the woman to stop feeding her baby. He said it politely of course, but I don't understand what the issue is about. We don't have any laws here saying it isn't okay. She had a towel over her breast so it's not like she was "exposing herself" and I and another woman were the only ones on the bus.

What is so gross about this? If a baby needs to eat, a baby needs to eat! That's just my opinion.

What do you think is making this such a gross/offensive thing for people?

and

Do you think the driver had the right to ask the woman to stop if we have no laws against this?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
The fact that her breast is exposed/ out of her blouse.
7
The feeding in general should be a private thing.
2
The fact that a child is sucking on a woman's breast.
3
Religious reasons
Other (explain)
Not grossed out by this at all! It should not be frowned upon!
60
He had the right to ask her to stop.
1
He didn't have the right to ask her to stop.
51
Other (also explain)
1
Total votes: 125 (67 voters)
Poll is closed
12/01/2011
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Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
I don't think it's right at all. If the woman had a bottle out and was feeding it to the baby, would that be a problem? I think people get their panties in a wad because breastfeeding is a "choice," but it used to not be a choice. Formula is a new thing, bottles are more common now and breastfeeding produces a genuine bond between the child and mother. It's unacceptable what the driver did, to me.
12/01/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by HannahPanda
I don't think it's right at all. If the woman had a bottle out and was feeding it to the baby, would that be a problem? I think people get their panties in a wad because breastfeeding is a "choice," but it used to not be a choice. ... more
I think so as well! It's ridiculous that this is offensive to people. Now I don't mean to offend anyone who thinks it is offensive, but I see it like you do. The breastfeeding is a bond between the child and the mother. That used to be the only way to feed a child... since the dawn of time!
12/01/2011
Contributor: Willow Wand Willow Wand
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I was on the bus today for the first time in years, and a woman was breastfeeding her baby. Out of nowhere, after a good 10 minutes of feeding (as if no one noticed before) the bus stops, and the driver asks the woman to stop feeding her baby. He ... more
No there aren't any laws saying that it isn't ok, because there are laws saying that it IS ok and that women have EVERY legal right to nurse ANYWHERE she pleases, as long as it is a place that both mom and baby are allowed to be. (Adult Sex Shop, not allowed, since baby isn't allowed there, just about ANYWHERE else, OK!)
12/01/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Yeah, depending on where you live, the woman may have had a very clearly written law TO be able to nurse.

Like I said in another thread about this, I'm so tired of female breasts being sexualised to the point that something as natural as breast feeding makes people uncomfortable and is shamed.
12/01/2011
Contributor: grey grey
^ What they said. Breastfeeding mothers are protected by law, and can legally nurse anywhere both mother and baby are allowed to be. The driver was by far in the wrong. However, our society believes boobs are only okay when displayed for male viewing pleasure.
12/01/2011
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Under the conditions you described, the mother had every right to breast feed. The bus driver was way off on this and also why wasn't he watching the road while driving the bus?
12/01/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
I'm just waiting for someone to point out that you're not supposed to eat or drink on the bus while in motion---oh, right. I just did.

I'm sick of this argument in general. Just as much as a mother has the right to breastfeed, the bus driver has the right to be uncomfortable. It doesn't make it right or wrong on either part, it's just humans being humans.

The older I get, the more and more I think people should mind their own business and let others just be.
12/01/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
It's a part of life that many moms choose to do. As long as she was covering herself I see no problem with this whatsoever
12/01/2011
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I don't see a problem with it. I breastfed both my boys and if I knew I was going away I'd use a breast pump and express my milk for them to use in a bottle, but that made me prone to have leakage b/c our bodies know when it's time to feed the kiddo and they will get full of milk and start to tingle and if not used will leak out. Thankfully, there's nursing pads that go in bras, but I don't see what the problem with it is b/c she was covered up.
12/01/2011
Contributor: Eucaly Eucaly
Isn't what the bus driver did illegal in most places?
12/01/2011
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Honestly I think the bus driver needs to grow up and take a chill pill.
12/01/2011
Contributor: switzerland switzerland
i'm not sure why the driver would ask her to stop - clearly he had a personal issue with it and i'm sure it made him uncomfortable. but suck it up, it's a part of nature. did he have to push a child out of his vagina? no. shush then
12/01/2011
Contributor: karay123 karay123
Don't like it, don't look. Just like I don't watch you when you eat a greasy cheeseburger and drip ketchup down your shirt.
12/01/2011
Contributor: GravyCakes GravyCakes
as long as she had a towel over her, i don't see the problem. if she was feeding him w/out covering it, i could see how that would make some people uncomfortable. but it sounds like this woman was considerate enough to cover it up b/c someone may be uncomfortable seeing her breast feed, so i don't really see what this guy's problem is.
12/01/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I don't see a problem as long as she was not exposed. I can't believe he pulled over the bus!
12/01/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
In her shoes, I'd have made a formal complaint. As others have said, in many places the woman has every right to breastfeed so long as she's somewhere both she and her baby are allowed to be. And she covered herself, to boot.

Had I been there, I'd have reminded the bus driver of the law and told him to leave the lady alone.
12/01/2011
Contributor: mizzmilla mizzmilla
I don't think it matters.
12/01/2011
Contributor: mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I was on the bus today for the first time in years, and a woman was breastfeeding her baby. Out of nowhere, after a good 10 minutes of feeding (as if no one noticed before) the bus stops, and the driver asks the woman to stop feeding her baby. He ... more
what the hell?? i cant stand it when ppl are so freakin rude to nursing mothers like they are trying to expose themselves on purpose. like HELLO IDIOTS i am FEEDING my child! i didn't nurse mine, but i hope to next time. id cuss him out and say ill find somewhere else to ride a bus at.

ugh
12/01/2011
Contributor: mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by Eucaly
Isn't what the bus driver did illegal in most places?
it should be!
12/01/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Stinkytofu10
Honestly I think the bus driver needs to grow up and take a chill pill.
This.
12/02/2011
Contributor: deletedacct deletedacct
As long as she's not exposing herself, is covered up partially or wearing a breastfeeding bra there shouldn't be an issue. The child has to eat. I think the bus driver was overreacting & should be reprimanded by the company he works for.
12/02/2011
Contributor: poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
I was on the bus today for the first time in years, and a woman was breastfeeding her baby. Out of nowhere, after a good 10 minutes of feeding (as if no one noticed before) the bus stops, and the driver asks the woman to stop feeding her baby. He ... more
I think it is wrong that she was asked to get off the bus. For hundreds of years thats how babies were fed and if the mom couldnt do it she hired a wet nurse to do it for her..
12/02/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I dont care if some one is breast feeding their baby out in public. But you need to cover yourself up. My wife would do it when we where out with the kids, when they were younger. But she always covered her self up.
12/02/2011
Contributor: Willow Wand Willow Wand
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
I dont care if some one is breast feeding their baby out in public. But you need to cover yourself up. My wife would do it when we where out with the kids, when they were younger. But she always covered her self up.
Actually, laws don't say that we NEED to. My baby is hungry and needs to eat, she's eating. She likes to look at and watch things while she eats, just like many adults do.

I'm offended by bottles, so you whip one of those suckers out and I'm gonna ask you to cover up your mode of feeding as well. Sound fair?
12/05/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
In my opinion, it's totally cruel to expect a baby to starve for whatever stupid issue someone has with breast feeding. Ya can bet those who complain or don't like it wouldn't like it if they were prevented from eating when they were really hungry.
People are selfish and don't care about anyone but themselves.

I would have had a go at the driver, even if it got me kicked off. It's just plain rude, considering she wasn't hurting anyone.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
If I'd been on that bus, I think I would have stood up and told the bus driver that a hungry baby needs feeding, the sight of a female nipple isn't going to damage anyone, and to get back to driving the damn bus.

If it'd been woman wearing a push up bra and a low cut top that covered the areolaes but showed everything above it, he wouldn't have ordered her off the bus. So what's the big deal? IT'S A HUMAN NIPPLE! IT'S BEING USED FOR IT'S INTENDED PURPOSE! DEAL WITH IT!
01/03/2012
Contributor: shinypinkstars shinypinkstars
Breastfeeding is normal, being repulsed or throwing a fit about it is not!
01/03/2012
Contributor: petite-n-sweet petite-n-sweet
I am absolutely for women breastfeeding in public. It is a ridiculous argument to suggest that they can't.

However, I think that standard guidelines should apply.

1. If the baby is not allowed to have a bottle (like on the bus) they cannot breastfeed.
2. Cover up out of respect. Some people are uncomfortable with a woman's nipple. I don't get why, but they are. I have nursed in public places and no one had any idea I was because I was covered up.
3. If they ask you to leave for breastfeeding, stop feeding your screaming baby and proceed to stand there until they ask you to leave for having a screaming baby.
4. Bring a pacifier or toy to distract the baby until you can get some place where people aren't so uptight about the human body.


One of my friends said this the other day:

"It's only guys that are upset about breastfeeding in public... and it's because they are mad they can't have any and they have to be reminded of that...."

Not sure if it's true... but it sure was funny at the time.
06/06/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
As a nursing mother this is a VERY touchy subject for me. So I'll just vote and comment on one thing.
If "The feeding in general should be a private thing." then why is that limited to children who get their nourishment from their mother? Why stop there? I mean, do you really enjoy watching people who weren't taught proper manners chewing with their mouth open or talking with food in their mouth? Like with most things in society today: if it offends you, don't look at it. God gave you the ability to turn your eyes/head/ears/thought s/whatever away from the offense.
06/06/2012