Ok just wondering do you think that Lady Gaga gives off a positive or negative view of sexuality and the gay community. A lot of her videos she has stated are in support of gay rights, but do you think she is supporting gay rights in a positive or negative way. How does she reflect on the gay community? And do you think her videos and songs are more for promoting gay rights or just promoting herself.
Featured by EdenFantasys
Lady Gaga and Sexuality
07/23/2010
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07/23/2010
I firmly believe that those people who think Lady Gaga is doing harm to the gay community or is doing what she does solely for self-promotion do not understand exactly what she is doing. Her videos are very coded. Her music is ironic. She is definitely trying to say something. I wish more people would listen.
07/23/2010
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do
07/23/2010
Quote:
Submit a piece anyway! You don't need to be invited, hun.
Originally posted by
kck
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
07/23/2010
Quote:
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because she was in a Catholic school as a child. Everything about her tells me that she was a victim of child abuse. Even in her most her interviews she talks about feeling like a freak and dirty, very common of those that have been abused. I just think that Lady Gaga is crying for help and I think everyone is misinterpreting her cries.
Originally posted by
kck
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
-
(6)I am personally offended by this
07/23/2010
Quote:
Whoa. This is how vicious rumors get started. You do not know her personally and have no reason whatsoever to speculate about her private life. Don't you DARE assume someone has been abused because of the way they act. This is repulsive.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because
...
more
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because she was in a Catholic school as a child. Everything about her tells me that she was a victim of child abuse. Even in her most her interviews she talks about feeling like a freak and dirty, very common of those that have been abused. I just think that Lady Gaga is crying for help and I think everyone is misinterpreting her cries.
less
07/23/2010
Quote:
I find this response to be pretty offensive. I went to Catholic school and am myself Catholic. I do NOT think it is okay to "blame" what you disagree about Lady Gaga on her upbringing or on her experiences in the Catholic school system, both of which no one besides Lady Gaga herself knows very much about.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because
...
more
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because she was in a Catholic school as a child. Everything about her tells me that she was a victim of child abuse. Even in her most her interviews she talks about feeling like a freak and dirty, very common of those that have been abused. I just think that Lady Gaga is crying for help and I think everyone is misinterpreting her cries.
less
I also find the links you make between her upbringing, the alleged reports of her saying she feels "like a freak and dirty," and the GLBT community to be very disturbing.
I find this to be a particularly emotional response that puts others down rather than engaging in a dialogue of why you disagree.
07/23/2010
Quote:
I agree, Blinker. I was very upset when I saw this post. It took me a few moments to compose myself enough to write a response.
Originally posted by
Blinker
Whoa. This is how vicious rumors get started. You do not know her personally and have no reason whatsoever to speculate about her private life. Don't you DARE assume someone has been abused because of the way they act. This is repulsive.
07/23/2010
Quote:
Please remove this post.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
Here's a general breakdown of PTSD
link
I'm also not the first person to think this...
link
link
I'm also not the first person to think this...
link
07/23/2010
I don't think you understand. Everything about Lady Gaga is rumor at this point and none of use personally know her. Everything we talk about in her music and what it means is speculation. Plus I have the right to state my opinion and don't appreciate you stating that this is repulsive on my part. I would appreciate it if you respected my opinion.
07/23/2010
Quote:
Opinions are to be respected, but there is nothing respectable about something that is offensive.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
I don't think you understand. Everything about Lady Gaga is rumor at this point and none of use personally know her. Everything we talk about in her music and what it means is speculation. Plus I have the right to state my opinion and don't
...
more
I don't think you understand. Everything about Lady Gaga is rumor at this point and none of use personally know her. Everything we talk about in her music and what it means is speculation. Plus I have the right to state my opinion and don't appreciate you stating that this is repulsive on my part. I would appreciate it if you respected my opinion.
less
And not everything is rumor about Lady Gaga. However, assumptions ARE generally rumors.
07/23/2010
Quote:
It's one thing to have an opinion but quite another to speculate someone's been abused and diagnose them with PTSD from reading a definition on a website. My father has PTSD and it is not to be taken lightly. It's not some new catchphrase to throw around.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
I don't think you understand. Everything about Lady Gaga is rumor at this point and none of use personally know her. Everything we talk about in her music and what it means is speculation. Plus I have the right to state my opinion and don't
...
more
I don't think you understand. Everything about Lady Gaga is rumor at this point and none of use personally know her. Everything we talk about in her music and what it means is speculation. Plus I have the right to state my opinion and don't appreciate you stating that this is repulsive on my part. I would appreciate it if you respected my opinion.
less
07/23/2010
Quote:
Have you seen Lady Gaga's new video "Alejandro"? She really attacks the catholic church it just seems that she has a lot of hatred against the church. She is dressed up as the priest in latex.
Originally posted by
kck
I find this response to be pretty offensive. I went to Catholic school and am myself Catholic. I do NOT think it is okay to "blame" what you disagree about Lady Gaga on her upbringing or on her experiences in the Catholic school system,
...
more
I find this response to be pretty offensive. I went to Catholic school and am myself Catholic. I do NOT think it is okay to "blame" what you disagree about Lady Gaga on her upbringing or on her experiences in the Catholic school system, both of which no one besides Lady Gaga herself knows very much about.
I also find the links you make between her upbringing, the alleged reports of her saying she feels "like a freak and dirty," and the GLBT community to be very disturbing.
I find this to be a particularly emotional response that puts others down rather than engaging in a dialogue of why you disagree. less
I also find the links you make between her upbringing, the alleged reports of her saying she feels "like a freak and dirty," and the GLBT community to be very disturbing.
I find this to be a particularly emotional response that puts others down rather than engaging in a dialogue of why you disagree. less
Here is an article about how she upset the church...
link
Also I feel like we are both having emotional responses to the situation I think it might be good to take a step back of a minuet and look at this from a none emotional perspective. I have no emotions towards Lady Gaga good or bad I like her and I'm on her forums. I just was stating what I thought here message was, and what she was trying to say. That's it I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just looking at the facts. I'm a psychology student I look at thing from an unemotional perspective.
07/23/2010
Quote:
Yes, I have seen the video. And yes, I know the Church's response to it.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
Have you seen Lady Gaga's new video "Alejandro"? She really attacks the catholic church it just seems that she has a lot of hatred against the church. She is dressed up as the priest in latex.
Here is an article about how she ... more
Here is an article about how she ... more
Have you seen Lady Gaga's new video "Alejandro"? She really attacks the catholic church it just seems that she has a lot of hatred against the church. She is dressed up as the priest in latex.
Here is an article about how she upset the church...
link
Also I feel like we are both having emotional responses to the situation I think it might be good to take a step back of a minuet and look at this from a none emotional perspective. I have no emotions towards Lady Gaga good or bad I like her and I'm on her forums. I just was stating what I thought here message was, and what she was trying to say. That's it I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just looking at the facts. I'm a psychology student I look at thing from an unemotional perspective. less
Here is an article about how she upset the church...
link
Also I feel like we are both having emotional responses to the situation I think it might be good to take a step back of a minuet and look at this from a none emotional perspective. I have no emotions towards Lady Gaga good or bad I like her and I'm on her forums. I just was stating what I thought here message was, and what she was trying to say. That's it I'm not trying to attack anyone I'm just looking at the facts. I'm a psychology student I look at thing from an unemotional perspective. less
I stand by what I've already said. I don't think it's acceptable to use one's major as an excuse for the way things are stated or the reasoning behind them. More than one person took offense at your post(s).
I think I'll bow out now and let an Admin handle this situation.
07/23/2010
Quote:
I would really like to have an Admin step in.
Originally posted by
kck
Yes, I have seen the video. And yes, I know the Church's response to it.
I stand by what I've already said. I don't think it's acceptable to use one's major as an excuse for the way things are stated or the reasoning behind ... more
I stand by what I've already said. I don't think it's acceptable to use one's major as an excuse for the way things are stated or the reasoning behind ... more
Yes, I have seen the video. And yes, I know the Church's response to it.
I stand by what I've already said. I don't think it's acceptable to use one's major as an excuse for the way things are stated or the reasoning behind them. More than one person took offense at your post(s).
I think I'll bow out now and let an Admin handle this situation. less
I stand by what I've already said. I don't think it's acceptable to use one's major as an excuse for the way things are stated or the reasoning behind them. More than one person took offense at your post(s).
I think I'll bow out now and let an Admin handle this situation. less
07/23/2010
Quote:
Can you please explain in detail what I said to offend you? And also what was so offensive about what I said?
Originally posted by
kck
Opinions are to be respected, but there is nothing respectable about something that is offensive.
And not everything is rumor about Lady Gaga. However, assumptions ARE generally rumors.
And not everything is rumor about Lady Gaga. However, assumptions ARE generally rumors.
07/23/2010
Quote:
I'll be happy to explain to an Admin. However, as I have already stated, I am bowing out of this discussion. I have great respect for the EF community and its staff, part of whose job it is to deal with situations such as these.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
Can you please explain in detail what I said to offend you? And also what was so offensive about what I said?
07/23/2010
I guess I was just hoping you could explain to me what offended you and how what I said was offensive. I do agree that an Admin may need to get involved but it is important to settle matters ourselves also. I am an admin on forums and I really like people to try to talk things out before they come running to me. I just feel like we could settle this if you are up to it. But if you don't feel like trying to talk it out then go get an admin.
07/23/2010
I guess I didn't realize she had anything to do with gay rights! See what I know, I just thought she was one of the next "pop" icons of the season! I like her songs, but she's a little out there for me!
07/23/2010
Quote:
OK, a couple of things. I have PTSD (unfortunately), so I'm very familiar with the diagnostic criteria. 1) I'm not really seeing where Gaga actually displays and of the relevant diagnostic criteria and 2) the reason armchair diagnoses like this don't work is that her public persona is just that: a persona. It's constructed. You have no idea what's real and what's not. So any diagnoses of mental illness or childhood abuse remain firmly between Gaga and her personal psychiatrist.
Originally posted by
PonyPlay
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because
...
more
I personally think that Lady Gaga has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is acting out as is common with PTSD. I think that her message is a cry for help and I think that she was abused as a child probably within the Catholic Church because she was in a Catholic school as a child. Everything about her tells me that she was a victim of child abuse. Even in her most her interviews she talks about feeling like a freak and dirty, very common of those that have been abused. I just think that Lady Gaga is crying for help and I think everyone is misinterpreting her cries.
less
Also, now anyone who criticizes/offends the Catholic church has PTSD? Are we leveling the same charge at Madonna now, too? Or Richard Dawkins? That makes absolutely zero sense.
07/23/2010
Quote:
Indeed. Writing for EC is easy and fun and anyone can do it. Well, assuming you can meet the guidelines, which are here.
Originally posted by
kck
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is ... more
I'd also like to point out that she isn't just fighting for the GLBT community. She's also championing women's rights and representation.
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on about Lady Gaga and just exactly what it is she's doing. I've gotten into many a debate over this. And quite frankly, I'm kinda over it. I feel that many people have dismissed her or made up their minds not to like her without examining what it is that she does and how and why. It's exhausting trying to explain. For the sake of not seeming like a giant troll (and so that I don't begin to type out a giant essay via this thread), I'll digress unless someone asks me to elaborate. Or if Carrie Ann asks me to write a piece on Gaga for Eden Cafe... now that I could do less
07/23/2010
Quote:
Thanks, Carrie Ann! I think I will write something up for you all, probably over the weekend
Originally posted by
Carrie Ann
Indeed. Writing for EC is easy and fun and anyone can do it. Well, assuming you can meet the guidelines, which are here.
07/23/2010
Friends,
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it?
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it?
07/23/2010
Quote:
I wholeheartedly agree.
Originally posted by
El-Jaro
Friends,
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. ... more
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. ... more
Friends,
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it? less
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it? less
And moreover, I will tell you all that there have been countless times where I have read a thread or post on the forums and just shaken my head and rolled my eyes and sighed...but I didn't flag it. I don't know that I have ever flagged anything, actually.
Because being reactive isn't helpful. It does nothing but alienate people. And I don't want to see that kind of crap happening here. I don't want anyone walking on egg shells in this forum. Ever. And I mean it.
Our "Expectations of Conduct" cover the big topics that are common-sense forbidden and tasteless; but you know what, there is plenty that I find tasteless and offensive but know that other people relate to and enjoy. And I also appreciate 'Teachable Moments' where I can have a productive discussion with someone based on differing opinions and life experiences.
If you look back a year or two in these threads, many topics are discussed at length, including sensitive topics. And there are some people who disagreed, but nothing really got ugly. Some friendships were even formed as a result of truly open discussion.
Imagine that...
07/23/2010
There was a recent discussion post that had a very good example of people talking out their disagreements. It was between P'Gell and Prax. I was very relieved, thrilled even, when they agreed to disagree and still respected each other's views.
07/23/2010
Quote:
I agree that it is easy to read things with the wrong inflection, and therefore misinterpret the intent, via oh-so-limited text. I also agree that opinions must be respected, no matter how they differ.
Originally posted by
El-Jaro
Friends,
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. ... more
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. ... more
Friends,
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it? less
As you can see, discussions can get pretty heated when it comes to touchy subjects. There is nothing wrong with discussing “hot” topics on Eden threads as long as we, as a community, can keep a level head when talking about them. Provocative discussion is great, actually. Being reactive and policing threads when someone says something you disagree with is not so great. We all need to be more accepting of differing opinions here – our opinions are strongly formed by our life experiences. Your experiences are different than mine, and thus so is your perspective – that doesn’t make one of us more right than the other.
With the above series of posts, you can see where a topic can start in one place and go to another and feelings can get hurt. The important thing to keep in mind is that a member can always take a step back or call a ‘24 hour rule’ and everyone can think about the situation as a whole before it gets to where this thread ended up.
Please keep in mind that there is no inflection when it comes to text on a web page. What is said can only be interpreted by the words posted. If someone is being sarcastic, ironic, or has a different take on what is being said there’s no way to really know that from text alone (aside from emoticons). Please be aware that what you type is only going to be taken as-is in a heated discussion; the reader applies their own assumptions to what you are typing. If the reader is already on the defensive, only an apology is going to bring them around; anything else will probably be considered a further attack on them. By then, the damage is done and cooler heads must prevail. But that goes both ways; the person posting may feel just as attacked and ganged-up on as the reader that feels offended. See how that works? Acting in an offensive way while feeling offended just makes the situation worse.
And so, moving forward, if you feel that you are being attacked for your position on a topic, especially a heated one like abuse, rape, religion, politics, etc, please take a minute to think about the situation from an outside perspective, and make sure you’re being fair and open-minded. If that feels impossible and you are still upset, that’s a sign that a cooling off period is in order. Walk away from the computer, get something to drink, do something completely different until you’ve calmed down a little bit. You’d be surprised how a refresher can put things in perspective. The next thing to consider is whether this is something that should be on a public forum. No one really wants to read an argument between two or three people on a public forum. On the Eden forums, you have the option to contact the person in a private message to work things out. This will keep the situation from escalating any further. If that doesn’t seem like a possibility, just leave it; then email me, and call it quits for the time being.
I’m going to end this on a final note: It’s all about context and presentation. And well, tolerance too. And being respectful of others’ opinions. Damn, it’s about a lot of things, isn’t it? less
However, that being said, I flagged the post not because I disagreed with an opinion, but because I found the post to be very offensive. The Code of Conduct states that "Defamation of individuals [...] is not tolerated. This includes accusations, speculations and sweeping generalizations that can be hurtful. This is an information sharing resource, not a rumor-mill." I found the allegations that equated Lady Gaga's eccentric stage persona with supposedly tell-tale signs of child abuse and PTSD to be extremely disagreeable. The post alienates (and potentially offends) those with PTSD, those who have suffered from child abuse, those affiliated with the Catholic Church, and those in the GBLT community who look up to Gaga for what she does for their cause (and not because she is a sad, confused victim). I think that if what was said had been about someone more accessible (like myself or another reviewer), such a post would not be tolerated. Lady Gaga is a person, and I think she should be respected as one.
Again, I have great respect for the EF community and team. I don't know what has been said behind the scenes to others involved in this thread, so I really cannot say anything further. I only wanted to justify my reasoning.
-kck
07/23/2010
This issue has been resolved. Any further flags on this thread will be ignored.
Thank you.
Thank you.
07/23/2010
I admire Lady Gaga. I don't know that I would be happy to let my little girls (if ever I had any) watch her video clips.
09/07/2010