Have you ever been cheating?

Have you fantasized about various erotic scenarios that involve someone other than your current partner?

Perhaps you've taken things a step further, and you're in the midst of a flirtation with someone, or you've even been exchanging sexually charged emails or text messages? less

I cant really picture cheating on my boyfriend. lol I'm weird but he is the only person I have ever been with. I don't like the idea of cheating, worry about possible scenarios of him cheating on me all the time and I know he has exes who cheated on him big time. I knew of that when we got together so I sort of promised myself I was gonna be the keeper, the good one. He is older and the sex between the two of us is not perfect. But I am not with him because I need him for that. sex with him in my opinion is validation that he is happy and wants me around and likes what I do for him. the problem with that is that he is at an age, he has outgrown the "recreational sex" age when I have not. He only seems to want it every now and then. Sometimes I try to instigate it and it works and we have sex and he seems happy. sometimes I try to instigate it and he just isn't interested. If I pressure him I risk sounding like an emasculating shrew so I don't push anymore. The things I enjoy are best kept to myself. I used to try to include him in those but he just wasn't into it and asking him for help just made me feel icky. So when I get to do something for him, him letting me do so is rewarding. If I get real excited and need to have some fun, I take time for myself and keep it out of his way. lol We are strange people and we click in many other ways that make us happy. less

Why not start a thread asking for ways to get the bf into more sex ? I'm sure there are some experts here. I heard of supplements that may help. Or google how to get my man more .....

I guess he doesn't get excited from watch adult videos either ?

I heard supplements like L Arginine, Horny Goat Weed, Maca Root powder etc can help. And oysters.

btw, do you have a wand ? less

Why not start a thread asking for ways to get the bf into more sex ? I'm sure there are some experts here. I heard of supplements that may help. Or google how to get my man more .....

I guess he doesn't get excited from watch adult videos either ?

I heard supplements like L Arginine, Horny Goat Weed, Maca Root powder etc can help. And oysters.

btw, do you have a wand ? less

sounds like the divorce was needed unless the wife at the time was ok with you boinking other people. lol its only my opinion but unless its a mutual agreement, one should probably not go looking for an extramarital affair before considering a separation or divorce...again, only my opinion, there are at least 2 sides to every story... less

I'll cut the telling of this way way down and just say...

Wife#1 was mentally ill but would not accept treatment. That's the awful part of mental illness, the ill person does not believe that they need help.

Wife#1 and I had a young son. I could go into it much more in depth (including the sexual frustration of me having a very high sex drive and her not nearly as much interest) but that would be even more of a downer than the rest of what I'm gonna tell now. Other than to say, I stayed in the marriage as long as I could to be the lightning rod for Wife#1's craziness so she would not direct it to the child.

When her treatment of me finally resulted in depression and I was contemplating my own suicide rather than continue to live with her abuse, I did initiate divorce. It was extremely painful emotionally for everyone involved. If I could have done so I would have happily gone back to active duty army and stayed in combat until I was no more, instead of the divorce.

Before the divorce was complete Wife#1 was diagnosed with cancer. I stopped the divorce so that she would remain on my health insurance and recover but she did not recover. Many of my friends and family told me that she was getting what she deserved but I still could not hate her. She had no family or friends to help her when the cancer got bad, so I did. She was at home and a hospice chaplain and I were with her when she died.

Looking at the situation from the hindsight perspective (which isn't often helpful) If the "Other Woman" had been in the picture, I would have been much more able to maintain the facade of being a loving husband to Wife#1 until she died and save her so much emotional pain. Even though cognitively I know that it isn't true, I still feel that everything was my fault and I will carry that regret for the rest of my own life. less

let me get this straight: you really think it would have caused an already mentally and terminally physically ill woman LESS PAIN if you had been boinking someone else on the side while she lay suffering through her last days?! It may have helped you maintain your composure better and could have helped you to stay strong but you weren't ultimately the one that needed the moral support the most: you have the rest of your life to heal. Your first wife, however crazy she may have been, was honestly dying. I would have thought that the greatest support for her would have been knowing that the man she ran ragged and put through hell still had the decency to stand by her and see the real end of her life and the relationship through. But I also understand that cancer is horrible, watching someone live, suffer and die in that way is terrible, and everyone has their own needs and ways to maintain their own sanity in the face of death. So it still doesn't seem fair to call you a pig. and this is why :
something I never told anyone: before I left with my boyfriend, I was taking care of my mom. She was a co dependent drunk and conned all of her kids into taking care of her at some point or another. I was paying her rent and buying her groceries because she said and did things that made me feel I owed it to her but I had no place to live myself and had been sleeping in a cemetery off and on since I was in highschool... My brother in law finally decided to move mom out of the tiny apartment when she got drunk while I was working one night and fell and hit her head. I was the one that found her after she fell. I had gone to pick up her groceries and had asked my boss to let me leave work early before the store closed. When I walked into the room that night she was on the floor so still. I didn't do anything for a moment and just stared at her because first I wondered and then I sort of almost hoped that she would be dead. I was tired and I didn't want anything bad for her but all the worrying about her and taking care of her and watching her drown would have been over if she was dead. She wasn't. But I had a sick moment when I wondered and then hoped. I wouldn't want someone to call me a pig or a jerk for thinking that way when I was so tired and was trying so hard and no one else cared. I know its not the same situation as yours was but the feeling is relatable. No one needs to be called selfish when things are that bad. your view is warped but I couldn't hate you for it. less

GingerMeggie, you missed or I was not detailed enough about the timeline. I would NOT have told Wife#1 that I was seeing the Other Woman. Being with the Other Woman would have enabled me to NOT divorce... at least not for a while.

Wife#1 did not have or at least had not been diagnosed with cancer when I was seeing the Other Woman. I initiated divorce before she was diagnosed with cancer and stopped the divorce from proceeding when I became aware of her medical situation.

The aspect of hindsight... had I been able to see into the future and know that Wife#1 would be ill and then die 27 months after I initiated divorce, I would not have done so, nor would I have cheated. However, I could not see into that future.

I applaud you GingerMeggie for helping your mother for as long as you did. I imagine that if she is still alive you still help her in some ways.

I am no longer a "believer" but IF it turns out that there is an almighty god, he should apologize for the pain he has put ALL of US through. less

GingerMeggie & RonLee, guys I think that we all have had our 'difficult times' stories. And you both seem to be brave people and there is no sense in judging anyone in this world, as whatever happens, it's all for the best.

Thanks for being so open and I wish there will always be lots of positive moments in your lives! less

But doesn't solve problem of who gets to use her dick first. That's the issue. Both are strong dominant women and accustomed to having their way.

And then there's still the question of will they allow me to watch. Of course it's already established I'll have to clean up after they are done. less

But doesn't solve problem of who gets to use her dick first. That's the issue. Both are strong dominant women and accustomed to having their way.

And then there's still the question of will they allow me to watch. Of course it's already established I'll have to clean up after they are done. less

GingerMeggie & RonLee, guys I think that we all have had our 'difficult times' stories. And you both seem to be brave people and there is no sense in judging anyone in this world, as whatever happens, it's all for the best.

Thanks for being so open and I wish there will always be lots of positive moments in your lives! less