Originally posted by
sounds like the divorce was needed unless the wife at the time was ok with you boinking other people. lol its only my opinion but unless its a mutual agreement, one should probably not go looking for an extramarital affair before considering a
sounds like the divorce was needed unless the wife at the time was ok with you boinking other people. lol its only my opinion but unless its a mutual agreement, one should probably not go looking for an extramarital affair before considering a separation or divorce...again, only my opinion, there are at least 2 sides to every story...
I'll cut the telling of this way way down and just say...
Wife#1 was mentally ill but would not accept treatment. That's the awful part of mental illness, the ill person does not believe that they need help.
Wife#1 and I had a young son. I could go into it much more in depth (including the sexual frustration of me having a very high sex drive and her not nearly as much interest) but that would be even more of a downer than the rest of what I'm gonna tell now. Other than to say, I stayed in the marriage as long as I could to be the lightning rod for Wife#1's craziness so she would not direct it to the child.
When her treatment of me finally resulted in depression and I was contemplating my own suicide rather than continue to live with her abuse, I did initiate divorce. It was extremely painful emotionally for everyone involved. If I could have done so I would have happily gone back to active duty army and stayed in combat until I was no more, instead of the divorce.
Before the divorce was complete Wife#1 was diagnosed with cancer. I stopped the divorce so that she would remain on my health insurance and recover but she did not recover. Many of my friends and family told me that she was getting what she deserved but I still could not hate her. She had no family or friends to help her when the cancer got bad, so I did. She was at home and a hospice chaplain and I were with her when she died.
Looking at the situation from the hindsight perspective (which isn't often helpful) If the "Other Woman" had been in the picture, I would have been much more able to maintain the facade of being a loving husband to Wife#1 until she died and save her so much emotional pain. Even though cognitively I know that it isn't true, I still feel that everything was my fault and I will carry that regret for the rest of my own life.