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In essence, they're saying that sleeping seperately is undermining to a relationship.

I could say a whole lot of vulgar, nasty things based on the hell of sharing a bed with my ex-husband, but I'd like to know how being unconscious - whether in the same bed or in another room - can make you connect better to your sig-other.

I understand the theory, but calling sleeping apart unhealthy? Only if your marriage was in danger to begin with. My parents have been together for 36 years, with their own rooms, and I think it kept them together.

Is this intentionally trying to make us feel bad for valuing sleep over societal expectation? less

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In essence, they're saying that sleeping seperately is undermining to a relationship.

I could say a whole lot of vulgar, nasty things based on the hell of sharing a bed with my ex-husband, but I'd like to know how being unconscious - whether in the same bed or in another room - can make you connect better to your sig-other.

I understand the theory, but calling sleeping apart unhealthy? Only if your marriage was in danger to begin with. My parents have been together for 36 years, with their own rooms, and I think it kept them together.

Is this intentionally trying to make us feel bad for valuing sleep over societal expectation? less

link

In essence, they're saying that sleeping seperately is undermining to a relationship.

I could say a whole lot of vulgar, nasty things based on the hell of sharing a bed with my ex-husband, but I'd like to know how being unconscious - whether in the same bed or in another room - can make you connect better to your sig-other.

I understand the theory, but calling sleeping apart unhealthy? Only if your marriage was in danger to begin with. My parents have been together for 36 years, with their own rooms, and I think it kept them together.

Is this intentionally trying to make us feel bad for valuing sleep over societal expectation? less

I sleep half the year apart from my husband, and the other half apart from my life partner so I don't credit this story at all. It's bunk. No relationship fits a cookie cutter mold. Generalizations like this are what perpetuates some of the most damaging myths out there... less

I think everybody has their own experience, but from what I have experienced, sleeping togther, and I mean sleeping together brings us together and keeps us together. Last night, we didn't make love before we went to sleep (The Man was exhausted) but I was dreaming of fondling him, and awoke to find him nuzzling me, with his head on my shoulder and my hand on his chest. It was just SO sweet! As sweet as sex, in some ways. I just lie there, with our bodies together, loving the moment. There have been SO many of these moments, sometimes followed by sexual activity, sometimes just living in the moment of sleeping with the Man I love.

Often, we start to make love before we are even fully awake. I can't imagine being able to do this while we are separate beds or rooms. I LOVE the smell of My Man on our sheets, and he loves mine. We cuddle and fondle and murmur to each other in sleep and while going into and while coming out of sleep. We have had some of our most intimate conversations in the middle of the night, while half asleep, and even solved some serious relationship problems in such an arrangement.

I will not make pronouncements about anyone else's relationship, that wouldn't be fair. But, Chili, I think it's fair to say you and your ex did not have a good experience, and perhaps that was the reason that spurred sleeping apart. I am hoping in your next good relationship, you might learn the joys of sharing sleep, too. It is so loving and arousing and connecting and affection producing.

My Man's parents had separate bedrooms for the last many years until his father finally died. I NEVER saw either of them touch the other, he remembers violent arguments (with him present in the house) about his father not getting enough sex, and IMO, they would have been better off if they had did what you did, and honestly admitted that this wasn't working. My own parents did divorce, but slept every night in the same bed, until they decided they could no longer live in the same house. It was amicable, but I admired their honesty and wish My Man's parents hadn't put on the sham they did for so long.

My Man said, under no circumstance would we ever decide to sleep apart in our own home, for any period of time. On occasion, I may have spent part of a night in a fussy baby or an ill child's room, but always returned to his side.

I can't judge anyone else's situation, people live lives that I have no access to and refuse to speculate on.

However, there is a sweet joy to sleeping together. It is known that breathing synchronizes, pheromones are traded, touching occurs, even in deep sleep, and IMO, one of the joys of living with a partner is Sharing Sleep.

Of course, mileage may and does vary. less

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In essence, they're saying that sleeping seperately is undermining to a relationship.

I could say a whole lot of vulgar, nasty things based on the hell of sharing a bed with my ex-husband, but I'd like to know how being unconscious - whether in the same bed or in another room - can make you connect better to your sig-other.

I understand the theory, but calling sleeping apart unhealthy? Only if your marriage was in danger to begin with. My parents have been together for 36 years, with their own rooms, and I think it kept them together.

Is this intentionally trying to make us feel bad for valuing sleep over societal expectation? less