Once a cheater always a cheater? Is this statement True of False

Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Can be true for some people who just can't stick to one person. But most of the time I think cheating stems from some root cause that can be fixed.
04/17/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
This always depends on your definition of cheating
04/17/2011
Contributor: CarmenGore262 CarmenGore262
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
IM NOT SURE MYSELF ABOUT THAT WILL LET YOU KNOW SOON
04/20/2011
Contributor: CarmenGore262 CarmenGore262
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
Well someone else said it is true and its been said by our elderly.
04/20/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Yea...not sure. Its hard for people to change
04/25/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
If they lied to you once what makes the next time any different. They wasnt worried about losing you before, Why would they start caring?
05/16/2011
Contributor: Gidget Gidget
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
I think that within one relationship, once a pattern of cheating and lying has been established it can be hard for it to stop. I was in a 4 year relationship where we both cheated on each other multiple times before it ended.
In my current relationship I have never and will never cheat, but that is because it is a healthy relationship where we have created trust and boundaries that I would not want to cross.

So, no... once a cheater not always a cheater, but sometimes it takes conscious effort and work.
05/16/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I think it depends on the person and why they cheated to begin with. I don't think you can use a blanket statement like that about anyone.
05/16/2011
Contributor: kinksters kinksters
it's all relative.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
It all just depends on the person really.
06/19/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
I think it's a choice. The person has to want to change.
06/19/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
I think most people who cheat and are given a chance don't have the first clue how to go about changing the process that lead them to cheat in the first place.

They hide their feelings and actions from their partner and if they continue ... more
shit, this was spot-on. as someone who has cheated and been forgiven and seen it continue to ruin a relationship for 3 years till it painfully finally ended.. god i wish someone had said this all to me then.
even now, it's very good to hear.



i'm terrified of cheating with my current partner. i'm so incredibly in love with him, it's maddening. i'm afraid of cheating on him and i'm afraid of him cheating on me. now, he's not the type to do such a thing but he is a Yes Man and his needy, manipulative, addictive personality ex GF has come into the picture far too many times than i care to recall since we got back together simply because he couldnt say NO simply because he didnt want to hurt anyone's feelings, or cause conflict.

i dream about him cheating on me, and i dream of me cheating on him. the dreams of me cheating on him are somehow far worse than when roles are reversed, however, they're always lucid, terrifying, gut wrenching nightmares. i awake and cry. i am a bit dazed and recall them all day. try to console myself that it didnt happen, everything's still okay.


i cut off friendships with men i've been attracted to and can see myself being attracted to again in fear of putting myself in the same situation again.

but somehow... i've always been someone who attracts men. i guess i'm subconsciously flirty. this doesn't work in my favor when i'm trying to avoid repeating past (huge) mistakes.
06/23/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by EmberPetals
Its hard to say for sure whether or not a person will cheat again if they have done it once before. However, to me thats not the point... if someone cheated on me I would from that moment on question everything they did... I don't feel as if I ... more
"if you know that cheating is something you cannot forgive don't pretend that you can and continue to punish your partner... its not fair to either party. "

--seriously sound advice. thank you.
06/23/2011
Contributor: big b big b
true
06/23/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
True
06/23/2011
Contributor: CuteDee CuteDee
I think everyone makes mistakes but you really have to look at yourself first and know what you want.

Ive cheated on guys in the past becuz I was bored with them. I should have just broken up and been single and had fun. Most of them never found out so I guess thats a good thing.

Ive been cheated on once as far as I know and it was a horrible feeling. He said he did it cuz he was drunk and I was being mean to him and she was being nice. (I know... WTF!!) but that exp opened my eyes to knowing what I want out of a relationship.

If Im not happy in my relationship, Ill be the bigger person and end it then go sleep with someone else. I dont wanna ever be a cheater again.
06/23/2011
Contributor: jesseftm jesseftm
It's probably only partially true because it really depends on the person blah blah blah, but after all of your relationships end with cheating you get a little bit pessimistic. I've heard one of my exes doesn't cheat on her boyfriend now, so maybe people do change.
06/23/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I don't think I could be with someone who cheated before. It would always stay in the back of my head and make me wonder.
06/23/2011
Contributor: Alyxx Alyxx
I used to cheat. Fairly often. A couple times it was long-term affairs, and a few times were one-time things, but I cheated pretty often. Before my last ex and I finally broke up, it had been almost 2 years since I had cheated. Then I met the wonderful guy I'm with now. We had an affair for almost 4 months before I finally got the nerve to leave my ex. I can't even imagine cheating on this one, the thought of it just makes me sick. I think all it really takes is finding the right person who can truly make you happy.
06/30/2011
Contributor: BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
I think that yes, mostly it's true. I do think people can change. But not many people do - or at least not more than temporarily. I would never trust my husband again if he cheated. In fact, I made my ex leave the day he cheated on me - well, the next day since he didn't come home that night.
06/30/2011
Contributor: DexterStratton DexterStratton
Cheating is a choice, Not cheating is also a choice. I have cheated before, but there is no way I'm going to cheat on this woman.
06/30/2011
Contributor: skunked skunked
True Dat!
06/30/2011
Contributor: redstarr681 redstarr681
it depends on the person and the situation.
07/03/2011
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
depens on the saying somethings osme think is cheating when it really isnt i dont feel that flirting is cheating others might i think that if u break the trust and cheatin a way that damagesur relationship then tehresno going backf rom that
07/03/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by mnc5051
Can people really change?
My husband was never faithful to previous girlfriends, but when we got together he has been faithful for 14 years. We were friends with common interests first and that makes all the difference in the world. (Yes, I am positive,we spend 95% of our time together doing all our common interests. We have so much fun together and when we have done separate things, spend that time wishing we were together).Some people like my bf's boyfriend always chooses women he has nothing much in common with and has a cheating problem. Depends on the person and what they want out of life.
07/29/2011
Contributor: Love Bites Love Bites
My ex cheated on me, and then he cheated on the girl he was dating with me. So, yes, once a cheater always a cheater. I've seen it in lots of my ex's.
07/30/2011
Contributor: Apirka Apirka
I think that is partially true. If someone is a serial cheater, I don't think any person will change that and make them stop. If someone has cheated once or maybe even twice, they could stop if they really wanted to.
03/29/2012
Contributor: HannahPanda HannahPanda
I feel like it's partially true.
03/29/2012
Contributor: Paula Paula
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
Yes, a LACK of good communication is a factor in why people cheat, in addition to other issues already within a relationship. All the attached men I turned down in lifestyle would say "I can't talk to my wife/gf about it. She just ... more
The first paragraph perfectly describes my ex. He would talk to anyone but me trying to figure out what was wrong in our relationship when the only problem was exactly that, that he wouldn't talk to me. He ended up cheating and I had to find out from a friend because he still wouldn't talk with me.
03/29/2012
Contributor: dragonn dragonn
Depends on the people and relationship and level of trust.
03/31/2012