I'm looking to see who believes in sex only after after you're married and who doesn't mind and goes for it before marriage. Do you think it really matters, do you strictly have a belief in waiting till after, just share your thoughts and beliefs on it.
No sex until marriage or sex before and after marriage
AngelicaU
03/23/2011
Invited: All users.
Discussion Topics
1.
Did you wait until marriage to have sex?
(204 posts)
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
03/23/2011
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Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
03/23/2011
hornypoet69
I'm not married, and not sure how I feel about the whole marriage thing in general. But I would be okay with dating a guy who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. As long as he defined sex as intercourse, and was willing to do other things. I'm not in any huge hurry to have intercourse, so I would actually love to be with a guy who wanted to wait as much as I do. (even if we had different reasons for waiting)
03/23/2011
I couldn't marry someone without knowing if we were compatible in such an important way.
03/23/2011
Early in high school I planned to wait, but I'm glad I waited at least until I was 17. I don't think I would have been ready sooner. But currently I've only had sex with the guy that I plan to marry.
03/23/2011
As a young teen I decided that virginity was just not for me. It was something to get rid of and get over with, not to hold onto and cherish. So, at 13 I pressured my boyfriend into having sex and that was that. I've always been someone who hates to be a beginner at anything, I always want to have at least some level of skill. That was sort of the way I looked at sex: virginity was just a badge that meant I didn't know what I was doing yet, and clearly that was no good at all, haha
03/23/2011
Sex and marriage? What the hell do they have to do with each other.
03/23/2011
No waiting for me. I knew that first time wasn't going to be 'special'.
03/23/2011
I had 10 sexual partners when I met my boyfriend and he had only had one before me. I had never wished I had waited until I was with him. I just felt that I had sex for all the wrong reasons and had to rediscover sex with someone I was truly in love with. But we waited for a year to have sex and it made it more special.
03/23/2011
I am not married and I did not wait. I was 12 and I was "talked into" having sex with someone who I thought was going to be my forever boyfriend, he was 16. Of course I was very young, didn't know any better at all. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have waited a very long time to have sex, because I have had so many problems with sex and men and being confused. I found my knight in shining armor three years ago and I wish that I would have waited to have sex with him. Like cectru said, I was having sex for all the wrong reasons before, and now they are the right reasons, and sex is actually a good feeling now.
03/23/2011
I had sex before marraige but to the guy I married (does that make sense? hehe). We were each others first and only and I know I'll get flak for this but we are happy and prefer it this way. Great poll question!
03/24/2011
My partner and I were both planning to wait, but we decided not to for a variety of reasons. Firstly we didn't want to rush into marriage just for the sex (especially since I had already been engaged very young with my ex). We also didn't want sex to be held on such a ridiculous pedestal, and we felt that we were right for each other no matter what.
03/24/2011
We didn't wait and actually I don't recommend waiting at all. If sex is important to you, don't wait until you're married to find out you may be completely incompatible in the sack. An unhealthy sexual relationship can be just as deadly as poor communication, etc.
Of course in that same vein, I'm not suggesting for very young people to have sex before marriage.
Of course in that same vein, I'm not suggesting for very young people to have sex before marriage.
03/24/2011
Quote:
That's pretty much how I felt about it too. Luckily, my partner felt the same way!
Originally posted by
BadassFatass
I couldn't marry someone without knowing if we were compatible in such an important way.
03/24/2011
I say - try before ya buy! I would never marry someone without sleeping with them beforehand.
03/24/2011
Wow i wonderif this correlates sex toy usage better sex life with earlier sexual awakening etc...?
03/24/2011
AngelicaU
Quote:
Well said!
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
03/25/2011
AngelicaU
I'm so glad that I got a lot of answers to this and there was quite a variety in the answers too. I totally support people who want to wait and I totally support people who don't because it's your sex life, right? And someone mentioned that they wouldn't mind waiting if sex meant intercourse and they'd like to do other things, if my boyfriend wanted to wait until marriage, I would have felt that way too. I'm not going to do nothing until then. Noo way. I'm a very sexually active person haha. Thankyou for all the answers!
03/25/2011
I don't believe in waiting.
Sexual compatibility is important.
Plus, I'm just not at all religious.
Sexual compatibility is important.
Plus, I'm just not at all religious.
03/25/2011
I was going to wait until I'm married because I'd heard that it was the right thing to do but then I met my first boyfriend and I realized waiting wasn't the right thing for ME! I stopped waiting and started enjoying myself and my boyfriend and I'm happy with my choice!
03/25/2011
I had been having sex for years, but when I met my wife, she made us wait until marriage. That was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. It worked out, but if for some reason we didn't work out and I was going back to dating, I wouldn't do it again. Their was an innocence about it that time. Now it would be just plain stupid. You really want to know if you are sexually compatible or not.
03/25/2011
Hubby is the only person I've ever had sex with but no we didn't wait til we were married to do so. We were engaged for 5 years and we bought a home together before we were married so...yeah the only one who thought I was still a virgin was my mother lol We'll leave her to her delusions
03/27/2011
Quote:
that's exactly how i feel. i mean, people always say that when you love someone, the sex is good. which, it's relatively good, i guess. but when you're with someone you love AND who has the same needs/wants as you, and who behaves in a manner that you really like, it's sooo much better. i've been with someone who i loved, but we had really no sexual-likeness. the man i'm with now, whom i love more than life itself, likes every single thing i like, in every way. and it's incredible. the difference is unbelievable.
Originally posted by
BadassFatass
I couldn't marry someone without knowing if we were compatible in such an important way.
03/29/2011
sexuality is a big part of marriage and you need to make sure you're compatible
03/29/2011
AngelicaU
I agree with a lot of the things being said. Yes, you can have a good marriage without fabulous sex but why? If you can really be on the same level as someone both mentally and sexually, that's clearly going to be your better choice. Not because of the sex necessarily but because you're more connected with the person in every way.
03/31/2011
I didn't wait. I don't wish that I had. I don't plan on getting married any time soon.
I've got a few friends that plan on waiting and I really hope it ends well for them.
I've got a few friends that plan on waiting and I really hope it ends well for them.
03/31/2011
Quote:
These were my Mom's words to me before she put me on the pill!
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
03/31/2011
Young adults need to be educated about sex the feelings which come with sex. I waited until I felt emotionally ready and it was with a person I was completely comfortable with- which was when I was eighteen. Also, in my opinion, if I had waited until marriage there is a chance I would be unfaithful or always wonder what I had missed. Abstinence may be the right choice for some people, but it would not be a good decision for me.
04/08/2011
Honestly im not religious and i really dont see a point in marriage. It dor=esnt make you love them any more or less and not haveing sex until after would be like a train wreck! To me sex is like that first kiss, you feel how'll strong that connection will be. You dont really know someone till you get them in the sack ;p just saying.
04/10/2011
Well I'm gay so waiting until marriage would have meant waiting for America to stop treating LGBTQ people like second class citizens, so um no
04/11/2011
I planned on waiting for most my teen years, but at 17 I decided waiting may not be for me. I then made the choice not to wait for marriage, but to wait until I was in a steady, loving relationship with a guy I trusted. I did not start dating anyone regularly until I was 19 and did not have penetrative sex until 6 months into the relationship when I felt we had built up a healthy bond and strong level of trust. It was the best decision for me and I'm so glad I didnt have sex before him or close myself off to the idea.
04/11/2011
hornypoet69
Quote:
Well you could always just get "married" without the legal privilege. I know of a few gay couples who have done this. They just do a ceremony, call it a marriage, and considered themselves married in they eyes of their church, god, their peers, themselves, etc. Or you could move to one of the few states, that it's legal in. But I do agree with you, America needs to get off their ass and let us get married to the people we love.
Originally posted by
Madeira
Well I'm gay so waiting until marriage would have meant waiting for America to stop treating LGBTQ people like second class citizens, so um no
04/11/2011
i don't think people should get judged for waiting, or for not waiting.
04/16/2011
I love what the above comment says from Curves! I totally agree with that.
I actually always planned to wait, unfortunately I did not. My partner and I are marrying after we finish school though so I can't say I regret it.
I actually always planned to wait, unfortunately I did not. My partner and I are marrying after we finish school though so I can't say I regret it.
04/17/2011
I wanted to wait but pretty sure its cuz dad drilled it in my head
04/25/2011
Like I have said in many other posts prior to this one, "my father always told me to never buy a car without test driving it. I applied this philosophy to many aspects of my life, this being one of them."
Although, after finding the perfect sexual match for me, I wish I had found him first!
Although, after finding the perfect sexual match for me, I wish I had found him first!
04/26/2011
I voted for the waited option, but that's not entirely correct. We wanted to keep it special, and I didn't want to push her, so we decided early on that we wouldn't go there until were at least either 18 or engaged. I proposed about 3 months before she was 18, and we did that very night.
That said, we did everything but that prior to being engaged. For instance, lots and lots of oral.
That said, we did everything but that prior to being engaged. For instance, lots and lots of oral.
04/27/2011
Quote:
lost mine at 14 wouldnt have it any other way
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
04/28/2011
Quote:
I always considered premarital sex as 'tryouts'
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
04/28/2011
I wont have sex until i know that person is important to me but dont have to wait til marriage
04/28/2011
I wouldn't do that. If it turns out bad then you are already in a marriage it won't be easy to change.
04/29/2011
Quote:
Not even close. However, I have been married without straying once for 23 years. I know my wife was likewise active before we married, so it was all fine.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
04/29/2011
Quote:
I didn't and I got lucky. I'm still with him!
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
04/29/2011
To each their own, in this case. It's whatever is right and feels best for each individual person. :]
04/29/2011
it should be whenever you're happy and ready.
04/29/2011
Even though we wanted to we didn't make it all the way to the wedding day, but we were already engaged so I'm content with how long we waited.
04/30/2011
Bugger marriage.
04/30/2011
05/01/2011
i tried to wait...but Ive only been with one guy and we're married now so its not that bad.
05/01/2011
My fiancee and I were each others first. I wasn't planning on waiting for marriage, but for someone I truly love.
05/05/2011
Quote:
I think that's awesome. My husband was my first, and I wouldn't have it any other way
Originally posted by
tffnyandrs
I had sex before marraige but to the guy I married (does that make sense? hehe). We were each others first and only and I know I'll get flak for this but we are happy and prefer it this way. Great poll question!
05/09/2011
I get why people don't wait, believe me- it was TOUGH - but I'm glad we waited and I did so for religious reasons.
05/09/2011
When I was younger I found myself blindly following the "party line" of no sex until marriage. That changed when I was actually mature enough to objectively think about it for myself. On the plus side on the equation, it probably saved me getting into a lot of trouble and I got to learn from everyone else's mistakes.
Seems to have worked out about perfectly for me.
Seems to have worked out about perfectly for me.
05/10/2011
Where i grew up you are "supposed" to wait, but I always knew that wasnt for me. I say to each his or her own!
05/10/2011
Quote:
i'm actually still waiting. my bf is ok w/ it since i'm still up for a lot of other things. just not actual intercourse. but i don't judge. i have friends who have sex & aren't married & i ask them a lot of questions. it's just a personal choice, i'm afraid of having regrets.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
05/18/2011
I didnt wait
05/18/2011
Quote:
I wouldn't want to get married to find out that you and your partner are not sexually compatible.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
05/18/2011
Quote:
very well said
Originally posted by
EvilHomer
When I was younger I found myself blindly following the "party line" of no sex until marriage. That changed when I was actually mature enough to objectively think about it for myself. On the plus side on the equation, it probably saved me
...
more
When I was younger I found myself blindly following the "party line" of no sex until marriage. That changed when I was actually mature enough to objectively think about it for myself. On the plus side on the equation, it probably saved me getting into a lot of trouble and I got to learn from everyone else's mistakes.
Seems to have worked out about perfectly for me. less
Seems to have worked out about perfectly for me. less
05/19/2011
I can't wait anyway.
05/19/2011
I am not a believer in no sex before marriage. So..yeah I totally didn't wait.
05/28/2011
Quote:
There is nothing wrong with being with only one partner! As long as you are happy, satisfied and fulfilled then more power to you. You shouldn't get any flak here for being happy with your sex life.
Originally posted by
tffnyandrs
I had sex before marraige but to the guy I married (does that make sense? hehe). We were each others first and only and I know I'll get flak for this but we are happy and prefer it this way. Great poll question!
05/28/2011
I never intended to wait until marriage to have sex, nor did I even intend to wait until I was with someone I thought I was going to marry. Fortunately for me I ended up having sex for the first time with the man I ended up marrying, and I was his first as well. With age and time I've seen that it's very easy to fall into some pretty depressing habits when a person goes about casual sex without...a sense of empowerment or purpose I suppose. I think people who have multiple partners and enjoy things that way are just fine! I have a sibling however though who repeatedly fell into the "friends with benefits" trap and ended up pregnant by a boy (no man acts that way) who wants nothing to do with her and the baby. So, not necessarily a believer in waiting until marriage, but a believer in waiting until you have some direction in life, both in bed and out.
05/30/2011
Quote:
its like ive been with my better half my whole life like we were already married so i never waited
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
06/11/2011
Didn't wait, wouldn't wait, see no reason to wait. I wouldn't buy a car unless I test drove that sucker.
06/11/2011
Quote:
Agreed!
Originally posted by
REDRUM
I don't believe in waiting.
Sexual compatibility is important.
Plus, I'm just not at all religious.
Sexual compatibility is important.
Plus, I'm just not at all religious.
06/11/2011
I wanted to wait, I had my heart set on waiting, but life NEVER goes as planned.
06/12/2011
I was oversexed as a teen, waiting was out of the question.
06/12/2011
yes
06/13/2011
Quote:
So did I especially since I was raised in a christian home.
Originally posted by
Miss Anonymous
I wanted to wait, I had my heart set on waiting, but life NEVER goes as planned.
But I found somebody who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life so we didn't wait to have sex.
06/14/2011
With my first husband I did not wait and honestly I think taht was part of the reason I married him. I felt that since we had sex that we should get married. I was young and had been raised in a Christian home. We divorced after 2 years of marriage where I was faithful and he not so much. The final straw was when I got off work early and walked in on him.
With my second husband we waited until we were married to be together. I am glad we waited. We have discussed with out oldest child abstinence, but we have also discussed protection as well.
While I feel that waiting was the right choice for me, that does not make it the right choice for everyone.
With my second husband we waited until we were married to be together. I am glad we waited. We have discussed with out oldest child abstinence, but we have also discussed protection as well.
While I feel that waiting was the right choice for me, that does not make it the right choice for everyone.
06/21/2011
I had intended to but it didn't turn out that way Im happy tho and still with my first and only
06/21/2011
i wanted to wait but i lasted till i was... 15 lol. i think it's bs that someone shouldn't have sex till they're married; you miss out on a lot of personal growth
06/22/2011
Quote:
yes! this exactly
Originally posted by
Inwitari
Didn't wait, wouldn't wait, see no reason to wait. I wouldn't buy a car unless I test drove that sucker.
06/22/2011
Quote:
Agreed.
Originally posted by
BadassFatass
I couldn't marry someone without knowing if we were compatible in such an important way.
06/22/2011
Quote:
None of these answers really fit me. I intended to wait to have intercourse til I was married. (Did lots of other stuff but no vaginal/anal penetration.) However, when I met my husband (vigin too) we knew we would marry so after 4 months we began having sex. Waiting is the biggest regret of my life. I will not tell my kids to wait, but I will instill the idea that sex shouldn't be done randomly and without love or a longish term commitment.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
06/22/2011
My wife wanted to wait until marriage, but I talked her into it.
That said, I wish we would have dated a lot longer than we did (9 months, and we didn't have sex until after we were engaged). Frankly, we are simply not compatible sexually. It would be really, really difficult for me to choose not to marry her again if given the second chance, but I do wish we'd have been sexually active before I asked her to marry me. I'd have at least known what I was getting myself into.
Because of this, I will be recommending (against my wife's wishes, no doubt) to each of my kids that they be sexually active with anyone they are considering marrying well before the marriage proposal comes. Sexual compatibility is as important as compatibility in any other aspect of the relationship.
That said, I wish we would have dated a lot longer than we did (9 months, and we didn't have sex until after we were engaged). Frankly, we are simply not compatible sexually. It would be really, really difficult for me to choose not to marry her again if given the second chance, but I do wish we'd have been sexually active before I asked her to marry me. I'd have at least known what I was getting myself into.
Because of this, I will be recommending (against my wife's wishes, no doubt) to each of my kids that they be sexually active with anyone they are considering marrying well before the marriage proposal comes. Sexual compatibility is as important as compatibility in any other aspect of the relationship.
06/26/2011
I don't think it's necessary to wait until marriage to have sex. I think sex is an important part of a relationship and you don't want to wait until you are married to find out that you aren't compatible sex partners.
06/28/2011
Sex compatibility is rather important in a marriage (sad to say, it's true). Also I think people should get an idea of whats out there (YES, in bed) before they settle down with the "one" for the rest of their life.
06/28/2011
Quote:
I did not wait, but was in a seriously committed relationship.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
07/04/2011
There should be a "I regret having sex before marriage" option.
07/26/2011
I did not wait till marriage
07/27/2011
had intended to wait, but didn't quite work out that way. Life did not go as planned, so it happened.
08/08/2011
no way!
08/09/2011
Quote:
Fantastic post here. XD
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
But really. There's no way I could do that! I think it's an odd religious thing of sorts but I was not raised that way.
08/09/2011
before n after
08/10/2011
I wanted to wait. It's literally bred into my family to wait until marriage. It is one of our values, and something we all believe in. My first time was basically something I forced myself to do to feel important to a guy. He had always told me he was a virgin, and when I found out he had done just about everything but sex, I knew I had to blow his mind in order to be ahead of the other girls. Biggest mistake I ever made.
08/10/2011
Quote:
Well, as someone who got married to a woman, I didn't wait until we were married. :-P But I never thought I would in any case (man or woman). I'm not really religious, so I didn't see why I should wait.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
08/12/2011
Didn't wait, wouldn't wait. I'd rather not make the decision to get married out of sexual frustration.
08/12/2011
Quote:
I agree. It's not emphasized enough in our society in my opinion. I hope I can teach my kids how important sexual compatibility is in a life long relationship. Trust me, it really sucks to find out after you are already committed to each other, (like because of a pregnancy) that you are not compatible. It can work but it's really hard.
Originally posted by
MJ1337
Sex compatibility is rather important in a marriage (sad to say, it's true). Also I think people should get an idea of whats out there (YES, in bed) before they settle down with the "one" for the rest of their life.
08/21/2011
Sex to me is one of the most important things in a relationship. I wanted to know how he was before marring him. Being compatible is important, you surely do not want to add sexual frustration to the list of things to fight about. If one only wants to do it once in awhile and the other is a horn ball that is only going to add fuel to the fire. Plus not everyones shapes and angles match up. I had one boyfriend, we tried for 6 months to have sex. Never worked, we just were not right fit. Happens, I would not want to wait till the honeymoon to find that out.
08/25/2011
It may sound totally horrible but I believe in "test driving" especially when it's someone you are going to spend your entire adult life with! You can have all the good lovey dovey wonder and joy but if your sex life sucks it will eventually catch up to you. I couldn't imagine marrying someone who was bad in bed....I mean how do you deal with that?
I do believe in the whole sanctity of the theory....but I couldn't do it. No freaking way.
I do believe in the whole sanctity of the theory....but I couldn't do it. No freaking way.
08/25/2011
I have zero regrets on not waiting.
09/01/2011
This doesnt make sense to me...Why wait? I kno they say good things come to those who wait... BUT what if you wait and after you get married he she turns out to be THE MOST HORRIBLE SEX PARTNER EVER?????????!!!!!!!!. ..haha Sucks for you...You married him cause you love him for everythingggggggggg else but he has a little dick and he sucks in bed!
09/09/2011
if i was with the right person first i woould have waited
09/16/2011
Quote:
hopefully theres a lot of everything else to love. you are too funny!! i posted if i was with the right person first i would have waited, but, then again, i am writting this after knowing he is good in bed
Originally posted by
IslandGoddess
This doesnt make sense to me...Why wait? I kno they say good things come to those who wait... BUT what if you wait and after you get married he she turns out to be THE MOST HORRIBLE SEX PARTNER EVER?????????!!!!!!!!. ..haha Sucks for you...You
...
more
This doesnt make sense to me...Why wait? I kno they say good things come to those who wait... BUT what if you wait and after you get married he she turns out to be THE MOST HORRIBLE SEX PARTNER EVER?????????!!!!!!!!. ..haha Sucks for you...You married him cause you love him for everythingggggggggg else but he has a little dick and he sucks in bed!
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09/16/2011
I waited until I was engaged. But even if I had waited for marriage, it wouldn't have changed anything, since it was a short, bad marriage that poisoned far more than it helped.
I planned on waiting again for a real commitment (hopefully with a man who could actually make and keep a commitment), but my sub has made me reconsider that.
I planned on waiting again for a real commitment (hopefully with a man who could actually make and keep a commitment), but my sub has made me reconsider that.
09/30/2011
Didn't wait, didn't plan to.
09/30/2011
I waited until I was in a committed relationship, but that's about it.
10/02/2011
I didn't wait, I was 16 and thought I was in love "what a joke!" I was committed, but he wasn't he ended up cheating several times before I found out about it and we broke up. Then it was my husband and we waited!
10/03/2011
I waited....but not for moral or religious reasons. I was afraid, and "saving myself" was a convenient way to put it off.
10/03/2011
Quote:
I enjoyed an affair at 15 with a woman at lasted two years while she and her husband were divorcing. I did not have intercourse till I married at 27. I wanted to. But, I was always the like you as a friend to the ones I wanted to have sex with. And, did not take advantage of others that would have; just to have sex. If I don't desire her, I would never use or take the opportunity just for the sake of having sex. That being said. After a negative experience sexually in marriage. I am more flexible with my considerations; but, I don't attract the women. A stud left in the lumber yard; never gets nailed. lol. My joke, I wrote it and I am a comedic writer. 5/1/10
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
10/03/2011
Quote:
And, another thing. I was raised a Catholic. I am no longer a Catholic. I was never confirmed but did marry and live a Catholic life for my 21 year marriage. I am a Christian now. Have all the sex you want. But, have ethics, morals and respect for your partners. Do not cheat. 21yrs I never cheated. If you cannot keep your word. What value as a person do you have. If there is a problem; address it and find a common ground that works for you. I do not cast stones. There are a myriad of stories and lifestyles out there. Just be safe and don't let any entity tell you what is right or wrong as long as you are adults and respect your responsibilities.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
10/03/2011
I grew up baptist and thought I was going to wait until I started to question religion. So I ended up not waiting.
10/10/2011
I have grown up studying sex and it's effects on relationships. After almost 10 years of researching (believe it or not, but I started around 8 years old), I determined sex is one of those keys to a happy relationship. Therefore, I came up with this rule when dating (please don't judge me. It sound slutty, but it makes sense):
If I am not sexually attracted to you after our first date, there is no future. I am not going to waste months-years with someone only to find out that I am indeed not sexually compatible with you.
The man I am with now, whom is the love of my life, I had sex with on the first date because I was SO attracted to him. We are now living together and raising a family! =) It worked for me!
If I am not sexually attracted to you after our first date, there is no future. I am not going to waste months-years with someone only to find out that I am indeed not sexually compatible with you.
The man I am with now, whom is the love of my life, I had sex with on the first date because I was SO attracted to him. We are now living together and raising a family! =) It worked for me!
10/13/2011
I did not wait and I am GLAD I didn't. When I was younger, I ended up engaged and in a long term relationship lasting a long time, but I wasn't ready for it. Not only was I still immature, I also felt there were very very many things left to experience and that I would have missed out on them. Even though I'd had sex before that. Now imagine if that had been my one and only partner. The idea of it may be romantic and appealing to some, and initially it was to me also, but I feel that variety and adventure are very exciting to me, and also helped me to grow as a person.
If someone else wants to wait then that is fine, but it is not for everyone. Just like there is no one single partner that is right for everyone- sex is a very individual and personal matter.
If someone else wants to wait then that is fine, but it is not for everyone. Just like there is no one single partner that is right for everyone- sex is a very individual and personal matter.
11/03/2011
I did not wait, and I would never have waited anyway. I don't want to get married, it seems like a stupid construct to me with the only benefit being financial. I need to test and make sure a guy is compatible with me before continuing or confirming a long-term relationship.
11/20/2011
Nope! I want to know everything about someone before I commit the rest of my life to them, and sex is part of that!
11/29/2011
well i do have two kids and the wedding date isnt til 2013! so yeah!
12/03/2011
I can understand that some people feel the need or desire to wait until after marriage before having sex with their partner... My view? You should find out BEFORE committing to someone through marriage whether you're sexually compatible. What if you love anal/bdsm/whatever and your partner can't stand it? What if your bodies just don't work together, don't fit? How horrible would it be to marry someone, only to find out that your sex life is doomed?
12/04/2011
Quote:
This, lol
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
12/04/2011
test drive for sure.
12/04/2011
Although we didn't wait (technically), I will strongly encourage anyone else to wait...it is worth it. When you combine the emotional with the physical, then it can become spiritual. If you hate all things spiritual, then I'm sorry you'll never experience that, but I wish you all the best.
12/08/2011
No, I didn't wait.
12/08/2011
Neither my partner or I are virgins but we are getting married in a few weeks time and have so far never had sex with each other,it works well within our dynamic,I'm domme and more into women and sex toys,he's submissive and into chastity,teasing and denial
12/08/2011
Is anyone familiar with Martin Lawrence's Run Tell Dat? In it he mentions premarital sex and I agree with him. I'm want to know what I'm going to be getting my self into, or rather, what going to be getting inside of me.
12/09/2011
I wanted to wait...
12/09/2011
Quote:
I masturbated by myself throughout my teens, but I always wanted to wait until marriage to do anything sexual with another person.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
My senior year of high school, I started dating my first girlfriend. She had some early sexual experiences (she got fingered at 13), but she had since regretted it and wanted to wait for marriage to do anything else. For the 5 years we dated, we had kisses that never involved tongue, back massages, extended hugs, etc. We were physical, sure, but not sexual.
3 months after I left for college my senior year, she gave a guy a blowjob. We broke up. She proceeded to have multiple sexual partners over the next year.
2 years after this all happened, I met a girl. The only sexual knowledge she had is what she had picked up from biology classes. Her desire to wait until marriage, combined with her freakish determination, had kept her away from nearly anything relating to sex. Same as before: kisses never involving tongue, back massages, extended hugs, etc. We were physical, but not sexual.
After 2 1/2 years (would have been shorter if it wasn't for finances), we got married. It was wonderful, awkward, and beautiful.
I feel like most who hear our story assume that we look down on those who didn't wait, but that's not true. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that I'll never regret that we waited, and she'll tell you the same.
12/09/2011
Nope, didn't wait. Why would I? If I was to get married (I'm not big on marriage and it's not for me, really) I would want to know everything about the guy I'm with rather than be stuck with someone that I might find out, say, is selfish in bed and only thinks about his satisfaction. I'd rather find out before than after.
12/09/2011
Quote:
I did not wait. And I don't believe there is anything wrong with that. I'd hate to get stuck with someone who isn't a good lover because I waited until marriage to find out.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
01/04/2012
I didn't wait until marriage, but I did wait until I was with a great guy who I loved and had already experimented sexually with (so the experience was fun, not awkward!) I am really glad that I do not regret my first time, as so many of my friends do
I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting until you're married, but I didn't see the point.
I don't think there is anything wrong with waiting until you're married, but I didn't see the point.
01/06/2012
Quote:
I think it's better to know what you're 'getting into' before making that big of a commitment.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
01/06/2012
When I was younger, I knew that I wanted to wait and see how things panned out before deciding whether or not to have sex before marriage. After my first relationship, I decided to wait to have sex until I felt like I was with the right person, with someone I truly loved. A few years later, I ended up losing my virginity to my current boyfriend. No regrets!
01/07/2012
Quote:
OTHER!: Unmarried and planning to wait. As a student who is incredibly busy and also as someone with minor anxiety (undiagnosed), planning sex was causing me too much stress/inner dissonance so I decided to continue waiting, which my partner is okay with.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
01/08/2012
I thought I was going to wait, then I realized that it didn't make any sense to wait (in my mind). I was 14, though, and thought I knew everything. I'm glad I did, though, because I think it made my lifetime partner selection easier without having to worry about virginity and pressure and waiting and all that. If I didn't like how things went in bed, how could I live with him? That would suck.
01/18/2012
When I was younger, I always said I would wait, but I decided not to. I'm glad I didn't, because who knows? Sex is an integral part of any healthy relationship, why get married if there's the chanced you're not sexually compatible?
01/18/2012
didnt wait
01/19/2012
Quote:
I cannot imagine marrying someone without knowing if the person is compatible sexually.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
02/01/2012
I used to believe in waiting but I also never wanted to get married. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that it's important that you're sexually-compatible with your significant other. Waiting could be the death of your marriage if you and your SO just do NOT click.
02/23/2012
Quote:
No waiting for me
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
02/28/2012
No waiting for me.
02/28/2012
Quote:
No, I did not wait till marriage
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
02/28/2012
Not married. I definitely wouldn't wait.
02/28/2012
I am not married, but I clearly did not wait. for me sex is a big part of our connection, not the only or the main thing, but it undoubtedly is an aspect that brought us a lot closer together. It is not only the act, but also our conversations right after sex have always been a lot more intimate than the conversations we had just snuggling before we were sexually active with one another. Sex added a dimension to our relationship, and I don't think it would have been helpful to wait until marriage for that. I want to make sure we are compatible on all aspects of life, including sex.
02/29/2012
when i was young i wanted to wait, but that didnt happen.. lol
03/01/2012
Quote:
I believe that everyone should decide for themselves if they want sex or not and no one should shame them for it (not saying anyone here has, just in general). As long as everyone involved is overage, consenting, and being safe I see no problem.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
03/01/2012
Quote:
No, I did not wait till marriage
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
03/01/2012
I wanted to wait till marriage when I was little but after I had a boyfriend that I loved and was very attracted to I said screw that.
03/12/2012
Not at all. Thought I might, but met that person I felt I would be with so went with it.
03/17/2012
Didn't wait, never planned to wait, glad I didn't wait. Honestly, I lost my virginity before I ever even had anyone preaching to keep it until marriage.
03/17/2012
I think it's a romantic idea but my desire is stronger than my will to wait.
03/18/2012
We were both inexperienced when we met, but it made it so special to learn together. By the time we got married, we had a good sense of what the other liked, but have continued to learn and grow through the years. It's great. Glad we didn't wait until marriage.
03/18/2012
Never been married but there is no chance I would wait, sexual chemistry is far too important to just role a dice.
03/24/2012
I really wish I would have waited, or at least waited for my husband. He is the ONLY guy (out of 7) that I have been with that focused on me some too.
03/26/2012
Quote:
i went for it because it was not that good
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
03/26/2012
I never thought it was necessary to wait.
05/06/2012
I was planning to wait... and I did until I was 19. By that time though, I no longer had the same belief system that had supported my waiting.
05/06/2012
Didn't see the point, try before you buy, since it'll be probably for life.
05/06/2012
Haven't done it, but i think i won't wait.
05/07/2012
My fiance and I both came into our relationship having already had sexual experiences with others. We were both very open about it and we have had sex before marriage. I think it is important to make sure that you are able to connect sexually before getting married. Marriage is a big commitment and sex can play a big role in that relationship.
07/09/2012
I was raised Catholic, and for the longest time I felt shameful about my body and masturbating. Coming out of my shell has taken a few years.
I am no longer Catholic, and now my path leads me to strongly believe that if you are in love with someone sex is something wonderful to be shared. It forms trust and is very intimate. I love making love to my fiancee and the closeness it brings.
I am no longer Catholic, and now my path leads me to strongly believe that if you are in love with someone sex is something wonderful to be shared. It forms trust and is very intimate. I love making love to my fiancee and the closeness it brings.
07/09/2012
Quote:
Why buy the pig if its not going to give you decent sausage?
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
07/10/2012
I waited 2 months while we dated then when we felt a mutual respect and feeling of closeness that we finally had sex. we both wanted to but we got to know each and had fun and hung out (became each others best friends) and even had phone sex but we waited and that worked to solidify our relationship. I think it's possible to have sex on a first date and find love but it's less likely. Waiting a good amount of time while getting to know the person make sure you feel comfortable with the person, you feel respected, safe and cared for. It also gives you time to see if this is a person you want to be with, because after some time of hanging out you'll find out things that might be deal breakers. If you don't make good friends how could you make good lovers?
This to me is a lessen well learned, personally.
This to me is a lessen well learned, personally.
07/11/2012
my plan was to wait but i didnt
07/11/2012
sex before after and always
07/13/2012
I didn't wait and never intended to.
07/13/2012
I lost my virginity at 15, which compared to most these days is on the old side. By the time I met my current beau, I'd been with 16 people in the five years I'd be sexually active. I felt as though I needed to be compatible in every way to make a relationship work, especially since I have a high sex drive.
I did have a long relationship with a guy whom didn't enjoy sex, wasn't very good at it, and had no intention on changing that. I loved him, but masturbation only gets you so far. Not to mention I didn't have any toys at that point.
I did have a long relationship with a guy whom didn't enjoy sex, wasn't very good at it, and had no intention on changing that. I loved him, but masturbation only gets you so far. Not to mention I didn't have any toys at that point.
07/20/2012
Quote:
Lol!
Originally posted by
xilliannax
Why buy the pig if its not going to give you decent sausage?
07/20/2012
I don't think I ever planned on waiting until marriage to have sex. I'm also not even sure if I plan on ever getting married.
07/22/2012
You need to test the goods. It could be terrible.
07/23/2012
Sex doesn't determine the relationship ending because it is something that can be learned. But waiting is outdated and unnecessary nowadays
07/31/2012
Waiting is the worst idea ever.
07/31/2012
Waiting is the worst idea ever.
07/31/2012
I don't plan on getting married, so HELL NO. Waiting is not an option.
08/03/2012
I would have preferred to wait, but if I had we probably wouldn't be married as it is. Thankfully I can say that my hubby is the only person that I've been with.
08/03/2012
No, neither of us waited
08/11/2012
i only waited until i was completely comfortable with him. we intend to get married and i've never understood waiting until then anyway
08/11/2012
I wasn't going out to find sex but we ended up having sex. As fate would have it I've been with that same man for forty years.
08/18/2012
Quote:
I don't believe in that.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
08/23/2012
I don't really believe in marriage for myself...so it was either that or join the nunnery!
10/23/2012
I don't believe in marriage personally, for other people it's great but we just don't see the point in signing papers and having a ceremony just to say that we're committed and love each other. No way would either of us wait for marriage, even my parents (whom I usually disagree with) said don't wait because if you're not sexually compatible, it can really hurt a relationship, don't wait until marriage to find out.
Personally I think waiting is often wrong, it encourages people to get married for the wrong reasons. There should be no shame in sex, it's healthy and natural, if you like someone, or love them, you should be free to have sex if you want to.
Personally I think waiting is often wrong, it encourages people to get married for the wrong reasons. There should be no shame in sex, it's healthy and natural, if you like someone, or love them, you should be free to have sex if you want to.
10/23/2012
Quote:
I waited til I was 18, which I think most people should do. Sex just complicates life to the max, and dealing with puberty and emotions as a teenager is more than overwhelming without the added complications of sex.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
However, waiting until marriage, I certainly didn't. But if that's your MO, you do what you feel is best for you.
10/24/2012
Quote:
I waited til I was 18, which I think most people should do. Sex just complicates life to the max, and dealing with puberty and emotions as a teenager is more than overwhelming without the added complications of sex.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
However, waiting until marriage, I certainly didn't. But if that's your MO, you do what you feel is best for you.
10/24/2012
Quote:
This is hilarious!
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
10/24/2012
I'm not married and I've had sex plenty of times.
10/24/2012
I didn't wait and really didn't intend to. I think I planned on waiting until marriage for a grand total of two or three months back in jr high, then decided it was a silly idea. And I'm glad I didn't wait. For one thing, I have come to the decision that marriage isn't something I want for myself. I feel no need for a piece of paper and a legal status to prove my commitment to someone. I'd rather a nice non-legal hand fasting. For another, I think it can be a big mistake to marry someone before you know if you are sexually compatible. I also think the idea of waiting until marriage can make some people get married to the wrong person long before they are ready to get married, just because they want to have sex.
10/24/2012
no way was I waiting
10/24/2012
Quote:
We had sex once, but we knew almost as soon as we met that we were going to get married. We waited 14 LONG months until we got married to have sex again. DAMN that was a L-O-N-G 14 months!!! (WE didn't live together until we were married, so it was easier to wait).
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
10/24/2012
Quote:
I just went for it. I'm a very sexually curious and positive person and I'm not particularly religious. Furthermore, my family doesn't have very strong religious values either.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
11/01/2012
hah, i didn't even wait until my first relationship.
11/03/2012
Quote:
Exactly!
Originally posted by
xcapricax
Waiting is the worst idea ever.
11/03/2012
Quote:
I didn't wait but maybe I should have.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
11/06/2012
I didn't wait; but I wish I had.
12/04/2012
Quote:
agreed!
Originally posted by
Tidwtrguy
Do you buy a car without taking it for a test drive?
12/04/2012
I had no desire to wait! I firmly believe that to find someone you're truly happy with you should be truly happy with yourself (this includes knowing your intimate side). And I also believe that a partner should know the "whole" you before you tie the knot! So, that includes you in the sack! I am supportive of those who believe otherwise but this is my opinion.
I gave up my v-card to the wrong guy, admittedly, but I have no regrets. I have learned a lot about myself since then and I feel that my current guy (of 2 years!) and I have a stronger connection for not holding back anything.
I gave up my v-card to the wrong guy, admittedly, but I have no regrets. I have learned a lot about myself since then and I feel that my current guy (of 2 years!) and I have a stronger connection for not holding back anything.
12/05/2012
I was going to wait because of past relationships, plus I was waiting for a STD/AIDS test to come back so that I would know if I was alright (I was and am), and he was respecting that, but sadly my mother actually broke me down and made me feel guilty by telling me I wasn't being a good girlfriend if I couldn't provide a man who I was living with, sleeping in the same bed with, taking a shower with pleasure. We found out last year it was because she wanted me unhappy in my relationship so that he would break up with me and she thought if I constantly bothered him for sex (Like she said to) he would break up with me.
Sure enough we had sex a few times and when he asked me why I was so upset one night about it I told him.
He went after her the next day. She's never forced us to do anything ever since. He didnt' hurt her, but he did give her one good yelling at.
But after that sex was very fun
Sure enough we had sex a few times and when he asked me why I was so upset one night about it I told him.
He went after her the next day. She's never forced us to do anything ever since. He didnt' hurt her, but he did give her one good yelling at.
But after that sex was very fun
01/15/2013
Hell no I'm not waiting! I've been with him for 5 years, do you think we're not having sex?
01/15/2013
No and I'm glad I didn't though I wish the first time I wish it would have been with someone special.
01/16/2013
I wasn't raised that religious and started questioning religion very early.
Always sympathizing with feminist movement I considered marriage as... not that important.
And it's not common to wait until marriage in Europe.
Always sympathizing with feminist movement I considered marriage as... not that important.
And it's not common to wait until marriage in Europe.
01/16/2013
i didnt wait
01/16/2013
Quote:
i had been told growing up to always wait until marriage, but i didnt care much either way and did not wait.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
01/22/2013
I was told to wait by parents who didn't wait, and I didn't care. I always felt like I'd rather find out if they were horrible in bed first, because then I'd be up and out of there. I also don't date people just to find out if I'm going to marry them. Marriage is not a big deal to me. If I don't get married, I don't care.
02/05/2013
I'd never marry without sex first. Sexual compatibility often mirrors compatibility in general. I can say for certain that any issues SO and I have in the bedroom (which aren't many, but at times have been significant) are close to issues we also have outside of the bedroom. It's often, in the beginning stages of a relationship, easy to miss those little discrepancies because of lust, or the other person trying to impress, etc. But its often hard to hide it if you don't match up in the bedroom.
Also, it wasn't until I met my fiance that I ever intended to get married, I didn't believe in it or think it was anything special. And I had no intentions on staying a virgin forever!
Also, it wasn't until I met my fiance that I ever intended to get married, I didn't believe in it or think it was anything special. And I had no intentions on staying a virgin forever!
02/05/2013
i didn't wait
02/05/2013
Quote:
since my marrying was illegal up until this past election, I ignored it.
Originally posted by
AngelicaU
Did you wait, or did you just go for it..
02/06/2013
I was going to wait, and for a few years, we never had a sexual aspect to our relationship, but then we started talking about it and about getting married, and since we weren't getting married for probably another 5 years, it just didn't seem practical, so we started with talking about dirty things we'd like to do, things that we would and would not be into, and things that turned us on, which went to webcam sex, and then when we did finally get to see each other in person after dating for several years online, we had sex our very first day together and it was PERFECT. I know people say your first time is awkward, but mine was really not. It was amazing. I guess after years of talking and looking without being able to touch, it should have been, right? XD
02/06/2013
I didn't wait and I wasn't going to wait.
02/06/2013
How about lots of sex before and no sex after? Just kidding. Gotta make sure you're compatible so.. before and after
02/06/2013
Siting to have sex until I was married never crossed my mind.
02/06/2013
I'm not married, but I'd never get married to someone without having sex with them first.
02/28/2013
I'm not married and I've had sex. I think you should do whatever you want to do. If you wanna wait, do that. If you don't, don't. Some people are married younger, some older. My grandpa is a paster and actually now thinks living together before becoming married is good because you'll learn if your suited to each other or not. So even if your going to skip the sex before marriage I would highly recommend the living together part.
02/28/2013
Sex is really important to a relationship. You have to know before you commit.
02/28/2013
Sex is too important to me for connecting and bonding for me to wait...so I didn't wait.
03/03/2013
my mom told me not to wait until marriage bc you could get stuck with someone who is sexual uncompatable with you like a friend of hers did
03/06/2013
I probably wouldn't marry someone without sleeping with them first.
03/07/2013
Total posts: 204
Unique posters: 195