The New Intimacy

Been talking about a threesome; any success stories?

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Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and respect each other too much to do that.

However, we have lately been discussing the idea of a threesome with one of the people I was attracted to. My husband is not only okay with me lusting after this guy, but he thinks my threesome fantasy sounds hot! Our friend says he is interested too.

I've never had a threesome before. I have never had a threesome within the context of a marriage. We've discussed full disclosure, respect of each other's feelings, and pulling the plug the minute one of us becomes not okay with it.

Is there anyone else out there who has experienced this and has any tips for going about this?
04/05/2013
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Contributor: cowboywill87 cowboywill87
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and ... more
There is really no other way of going about this, than just to do it! The experience can be fun if all the parties are willing and knowledgeable of this area. The fellows will get off more from seeing you get pleasure, and know that they making you feel good. You on the other hand will have the enjoyable experience while one could be doing Oral followed by the other pleasing your breast! You could look up some videos on 3 some to get ideas before this is preformed. Best of Luck
04/05/2013
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and ... more
Ive had a bad experience with this, but if you are both secure in your relationship and the other is a willing partner, I say do what ya gotta do!
04/05/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
Ive had a bad experience with this, but if you are both secure in your relationship and the other is a willing partner, I say do what ya gotta do!
I, too, have had bad experiences with this sort of set up. The real problem lies in the morning after when the brain starts to go over what happened. You'll be surprised at how well conditioned you feel going in and how goofy you feel afterwards. The thing is you need to realize that this happens and be aware that you have to give creedence to your feelings. Acknowledge that you are feeling vulnerable and raw and more than likely so is your partner.
Be kind and gentle with yourself and your partner and realize also that while this really isn't unnatural behavior we have been programmed to believe it is.

The first time you have a threesome is like the first time you have sex any other time...it's gonna be slightly awkward and kind of goofy. It can be immensely fun and something to smile about for years after but they can also be really bad.

I wish you all the success in the world! Have some fun.
04/06/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Thanks for the replies everyone. My fiance and I are still talking it out and deciding what we really want to do and how we would do it. I appreciate the well-wishing and the candor from those who had bad experiences. I will take those thoughts into account.
04/06/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
From the people who had bad experiences, would you mind giving any specifics?
04/06/2013
Contributor: cowboywill87 cowboywill87
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
From the people who had bad experiences, would you mind giving any specifics?
My friend experiences his girlfriend leaving him for the other guy.
She left because the other guy preformed better than her boyfriend.
Not sure if that would help you, each story is different.
04/07/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by cowboywill87
My friend experiences his girlfriend leaving him for the other guy.
She left because the other guy preformed better than her boyfriend.
Not sure if that would help you, each story is different.
Hm. Indeed. I don't know your friends at all, so I might just be talking out my ass, but I would guess that maybe there were other problems in the relationship and the threesome was a bad idea for them in the first place.

Like I said, I could just be talking out my ass though.
04/07/2013
Contributor: whiskygirl88 whiskygirl88
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
Thanks for the replies everyone. My fiance and I are still talking it out and deciding what we really want to do and how we would do it. I appreciate the well-wishing and the candor from those who had bad experiences. I will take those thoughts into ... more
I say go for it but I would include lots of alcohol I want to try one as well but haven't becuz I am not sure if I would want to do it with a friend?
04/09/2013
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
My partner and I had a threesome with a fairly close friend of ours, which was fun (though not mind blowing or anything), and didn't really cause any longterm issues for our relationship. But we've been together for a long while and have a lot of trust built up. Admittedly that friend has drifted away a bit since, but I think it's probably unrelated. Either way, my recommendation is make sure you talk it out a bunch in advance, and really make sure you both have the same feelings/expectations. Also carefully consider your added "third" and how that person might affect your relationship (or how it might affect your relationship with them).
04/09/2013
Contributor: Rory Rory
Not for me! Good luck if you go through with it!!!
04/10/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by whiskygirl88
I say go for it but I would include lots of alcohol I want to try one as well but haven't becuz I am not sure if I would want to do it with a friend?
Including mind altering substances during a time you are quite likely off balance and insecure? That's the sure fire way to a flaming breakup.
04/12/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Including mind altering substances during a time you are quite likely off balance and insecure? That's the sure fire way to a flaming breakup.
I agree. If we go through with this, I would absolutely not include any kind of mind-altering substance.
04/13/2013
Contributor: SydneyScreams SydneyScreams
Threesomes can be a LOT of fun, but if your partner has worries make sure they're voiced before it happens!!

All my experiences have been either g/g/g or g/g/b, and there have been successful ones, and not so successful ones. The more successful ones have been where everyone was equally pleasured...and usually the most spontaneous
04/13/2013
Contributor: cgartman1989 cgartman1989
I can only speak for myself when I say that 3somes never work out when you are having them with a long term partner. They are much more fun if there is no feelings involved.
04/14/2013
Contributor: DEI DEI
Well, I can give you a perspective as the third person. The threesome I was involved in also ended badly. The people I had a threesome had been dating quite a bit and in the end they ended breaking up because feelings started developing for the other people and it was simply messy.
04/14/2013
Contributor: earthmama earthmama
Quote:
Originally posted by DEI
Well, I can give you a perspective as the third person. The threesome I was involved in also ended badly. The people I had a threesome had been dating quite a bit and in the end they ended breaking up because feelings started developing for the other ... more
I suspect from my experience, that partners in long term relationships who seek to add a third are often looking for some kind of fix for something that isn't right in their relationship. It may not be the case for everyone. But the potential for messiness in a 3 person relationship is infinitely greater than the messiness in a 2 person relationship.
It might be better if the threesome was with someone that neither of you knows too well as a friend, and one whom both are somewhat attracted to, but not actively crushing over.
04/15/2013
Contributor: Miss.Monster518 Miss.Monster518
3somes are fun.
04/15/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by earthmama
I suspect from my experience, that partners in long term relationships who seek to add a third are often looking for some kind of fix for something that isn't right in their relationship. It may not be the case for everyone. But the potential for ... more
See, the thing with me is I can't do something like that with someone I don't know already. I can't get intimate with someone whom I don't care about.
04/17/2013
Contributor: pixiedustVixen pixiedustVixen
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and ... more
Threesomes are tricky if ur gona do it make sure u satisfy ur girl first then the other coz shes the most important to you. make her feel that way or shes gona get jealous, i didnt think i would get jealous when i had threesomes but when i was getting to watch instead of participate i was angry.. just make sure that doesnt happen and maybe it will work out for the best. some people love it and others dont, just have lots of trust because it changes the dynamic of a relationship forever, u are stronger from it or you are ruined from it... choose wisely and good luck
04/17/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by pixiedustVixen
Threesomes are tricky if ur gona do it make sure u satisfy ur girl first then the other coz shes the most important to you. make her feel that way or shes gona get jealous, i didnt think i would get jealous when i had threesomes but when i was ... more
" sure u satisfy ur girl first then the other coz shes the most important to you. "

Um, I'm a woman...a straight woman...
04/18/2013
Contributor: MrsandMrbunnysoffun MrsandMrbunnysoffun
We talk a lot about having a threesome, but have never gotten to the point of doing it. There is always one reason or another but truly I think it is the fact that I think both of us would get jealous.
04/22/2013
Contributor: Jessica Kay Jessica Kay
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and ... more
One of my friends had a awful experience with a 3some her man actually left her for the other woman and then tried to get her to have one with them. She was really upset about it. Just make sure your 100% committed to your mate
04/29/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
Quote:
Originally posted by Jessica Kay
One of my friends had a awful experience with a 3some her man actually left her for the other woman and then tried to get her to have one with them. She was really upset about it. Just make sure your 100% committed to your mate
I told my friend when I asked him to have the threesome with us that the number one rule is that my relationship with my fiance is the absolute priority. It will always be number one. No matter how fun the threesome is, if there is something that would get in the way of our relationship, the threesomes will end. I'd rather cut off the triad then risk losing my fiance.
04/30/2013
Contributor: VeganChick (is Gone) VeganChick (is Gone)
Wow, as someone is a monogamous relationship I really find all of this interesting. I haven't had a threesome, nor do I wish to, but my advice would be to communicate completely with your partner. Lay out all your reasons, expectations, fears, etc, and don't hide anything. I would also hope that your relationship is solid, and you aren't doing this to try to "fix" anything. I think maybe you should have the same reasons for wanting to engage, or at least be completely okay with your partner's reasons.

That's just my two cents as a non-participant. Best to you!
04/30/2013
Contributor: maimoromo2004 maimoromo2004
good luck with it that's sounds hot
05/01/2013
Contributor: Pandora'sBox Pandora'sBox
My friend and I were chatting the other day and he asked about details. I asked my fiance if he was okay with that and he said I could go ahead. I described the details of what I want to happen and what I want him and my fiance to do to me. It kind of turned into a sexy chat and my friend said that he's still thinking about it, but he thinks he's into it. I told him to take his time and tell us if he's got any questions.

Not only was my fiance alright with everything, the chat with my friend lead to us having some great sex. So far things have been going pretty well and my fiance says that he feels like this is bringing us closer.
05/01/2013
Contributor: Natasha Love Natasha Love
I have plenty and what i can say is it sounds good! go for it just remember the rules as far as the "plug" and just know that other person is there to pleasure both of you's if you feel your not that involved hop in girl! emotionally wise this is your first time so you might have a wery feeling or two thats normal though. Hope you have an exciting exsperince
05/02/2013
Contributor: RigWife RigWife
I wanna have one with another girl and my husband. We've been looking for someone we trust but haven't one
05/02/2013
Contributor: elrique elrique
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora'sBox
My fiance and I are about to get married in three months. We have been together for a long time and we've both acknowledged that at times, we have been attracted to other people, but we've never cheated, or been tempted to cheat. We love and ... more
I have recently experienced a threesome with a couple who I am friends with, they're in a relationship, so I am. I am married, my wife and I had discussed the prospect of threesomes a few times, and found ourselves to be quite agreeable on the topic.

I was attracted to the girl, and friends with the guy. We had never talked about it per se, but the girl and I had a few instances where the attraction was made pretty manifest. One night, at a friendly gathering, the party died down to just us, we were pretty liquored up, and I just went for it. It turned out great. I was respectful of their relationship, and just took cues from and responded to them, it made the experience smooth and I'm quite fond of the memory, and hope to do it again sometime.
05/04/2013