Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?
How did you handle it?
How did you handle it?
Fantasy rejected?
03/02/2012
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There are some costumes/lingerie that my wife will not wear because she's self-conscious about her weight. Although we avoid many skimpy/revealing outfits, we still try to work in roleplaying scenes with full or complete outfits. For example, I bought a real, full-size lab coat for "playing" doctor rather than one of the doctor/nurse lingerie costumes here on EF. While not as sexy, my wife FEELS better about doing wearing it. Otherwise, we wouldn't do it at all. So, you have to negotiate and know what's off limits.
03/02/2012
I've an anal sex fantasy forever. She has allowed me to dabble around the edges - but has subtly made it clear she's not interested. Rather than confront her about it, I've been working to raise her awareness. It seems to be working - but honestly it has taken too long. I have no choice except to give up or keep trying - and I'm not a quitter, so...
03/02/2012
Well, I kind of mentioned watching some of the porn of what I want to do and he was completely turned off, so I haven't even brought up that is what I want, since it is not going to happen.
03/02/2012
kind of sort of i have a lot of kinks that he doesn't have a thing for so his interest in them is very very small, so it just doesn't happen, not rejection but uninterested
03/02/2012
I have had some fantasys, yes but my husband would have to reach inside to a place of anger to be able to do them - he grew up in an abusive home and he just can't handle some things.
I've let them go.
I think he would like to try anal sex and we've sorta halfway dabbled but honestly, the few times we tried it (years ago) it hurt like crazy. I just can't get into it.
However, I am thinking about trying to see what I can do to get past the mindset I have about it from prior experiences. I have tried an anal plug - but it hurt.
I've let them go.
I think he would like to try anal sex and we've sorta halfway dabbled but honestly, the few times we tried it (years ago) it hurt like crazy. I just can't get into it.
However, I am thinking about trying to see what I can do to get past the mindset I have about it from prior experiences. I have tried an anal plug - but it hurt.
03/02/2012
Quote:
There are some things I wanted to try, such as diaper play, that my partner wasn't really into but I work with him on his fantasies and do things I am not particularly into as long as it is not physically uncomfortable for me, so he is just as agreeable when I want something.
Originally posted by
Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?
How did you handle it?
How did you handle it?
03/02/2012
Costume and role play, my husband thinks it is silly-I think it could be fun.
03/02/2012
We have a mutual agreement that nothing will be outright shut down from the onset, but we will compromise on it until we're both comfortable with the idea. It seems to have worked thus far.
03/02/2012
Consensual non-consent (play rape essentially).. We tried it and he didn't like it much but I loved it. Never going to happen again as far as I know which kinda sucks but I'd hate to force him to do anything he isn't into so I understand.
03/02/2012
Anal. He's okay with using toys on me, though.
03/02/2012
Quote:
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I could.
Originally posted by
Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?
How did you handle it?
How did you handle it?
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again.
03/03/2012
Well I wanted to try something new and she seemed kinda turned off by it.. But then she eventually let it happen. I started joking around and then it just sorta happened.
03/03/2012
Quote:
WOW! It sounds like you hit a nerve...Sigel had that sort of raction when I tried introducing mild impact play. I had no idea that part of his childhood abuse had been a warped attempt to explain plain old physical abuse by couching it in BDSM terms. So when I used them it triggered a really nasty reaction in the form of cold disdain from him. As far as he was concerned I was silly, stupid and dangerously innocent about the complete soul destroying hideousness of BDSM! I was floored, and somewhat damaged since he was the only person I had ever had sex with so I kind of accepted that he was right...and he never actually came out and SAID that he didn't want to play with impact play he just warned me that if I kept asking for this that he would hurt me. So I stopped.
Originally posted by
MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I
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more
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I could.
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
When I finally had enough knowledge to know what I was actually wanting he finally explained to me what the "rules" of BDSM were accoring to the ones who abused him. Safe, sane and concensual were nowhere in the vocabulary. Apparently he was that safe words were a fun little torture game...and it only neded when the victim was unconcious so no wonder he was not only spooked but sickened to his core at the thought of doing that to me!
03/03/2012
Quote:
nope
Originally posted by
Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?
How did you handle it?
How did you handle it?
03/03/2012
As I have mentioned, my SO is sooooooo vanilla that this is a common occurrence. In some things, he has opened up a bit over time. I just wait him out
03/03/2012
I love anal when I play with myself, but the wife wants nothing to do with at all. I think she thinks that it will turn me gay or something.
03/03/2012
Quote:
Aw, soul crushing. I'm so sorry!
Originally posted by
MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I
...
more
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I could.
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
03/05/2012
No, but I haven't told him many, because I don't want him to be creeped out or something.
03/07/2012
i try to keep them kind of private because I've got some weird ones up there that even I think are a little much.
03/07/2012
Quote:
never had him say anything
Originally posted by
Badass
Have you ever told your partner of a fantasy only to have him or her shoot it down?
How did you handle it?
How did you handle it?
03/08/2012
Quote:
See this is what I thought would happen, joke around about it together and it'll happen... nope..
Originally posted by
C-Rae
Well I wanted to try something new and she seemed kinda turned off by it.. But then she eventually let it happen. I started joking around and then it just sorta happened.
03/14/2012
I have myself more willing to try new things with my current partner. He loves to be tied up and have me in control. I'm trying, but it is hard sometimes as I don't always feel like I'm in the "in charge" mood. I'm going to keep trying because he has done everything possible to please me, I think it's my turn and when I see how happy it makes him, it's totally worth it.
03/14/2012
Not really but I don't suggest something that he may have a problem with. But overall, he is open to new things.....
03/14/2012
Probably my biggest fantasy/turn on was something I was sure the wife would be upset about and never want to try. While we haven't tried it, she was very accepting and excited that I'd shared, which was fantastic and reassuring.
03/14/2012
Quote:
That is so sad! I have a hard time risking and sharing when I feel like I'm not being taken seriously.
Originally posted by
MasonM
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I
...
more
My partner had told me that he really enjoyed the thought of being dominated by a boss or coworker, so I set it up once that when he came home from work I was in a business suit and had made our living room look as much like an office as I could.
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
He stared a minute, then burst out laughing and said he was 'too tired'. I never bothered trying again. less
06/29/2012
Never had to reject anyone fantasy
07/28/2012
My partner is super indulgent of my fantasies. He frequently asks to hear them. A couple of times when acting them out I could tell that he was just totally not into it. I can't fault him at all, but it was just not for him. Bless him for trying though!
07/28/2012
The majority of my interests and life goals are shot down by partners that I've had, actually. Many have told me that I simply "will not find that in a human being." I could care less about what other people tell me, though.
07/28/2012
thus far my man has been wonderfully open to everything I've talked about with him
07/29/2012
Total posts: 35
Unique posters: 33
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